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This is part of some cynical narrative on HN. Don't buy into it wholeheartedly. Plenty of couples stay together really long despite living in the same apartment

by tw1010 7y ago

This is part of some cynical narrative on HN. Don't buy into it wholeheartedly. Plenty of couples stay together really long despite living in the same apartment. True love does exist, even though the internet loves to brainwash you into believing it doesn't.

Numberwang 7y ago
For most people true love is a myth. People settle because they ate afraid of being alone. Then they stay out of fear, but unhappy. Children does not bring much happiness either. This is true for most couple. Yes, true love exists for like 5% of couples. This does not mean we should all pretend this is the norm. There are better, more interesting lives to live rather than 40 years of bickering.
chris123 7y ago
All of this depends on your definition of true love. and if love is something you seek to give or seek to receive. If you think they give love, then just give it. Love has no conditions. And it's available and unlimited supply.
maaaats 7y ago
How is it cynical? If something, it's wholesome to see people make nontraditional things work for them.
unicornfinder 7y ago
To be fair I think it depends on the kind of person you are. I'm pretty happy with the person I'm with, but ultimately if I didn't have her I'd probably have someone else and that's fine too. Not to mention, in the nicest way I can put this, I don't really see how any relationship can last forever. I don't mean this as a criticism of my partner, I'm genuinely very happy with her, but I'm also well aware of just how much I change over time.
wffurr 7y ago
I don't know why you think this is a part of some conspiracy. Knowing about more types of relationships is extremely useful for designing software. It helps to avoid baking in assumptions about relationship status and the implications thereof.
vidarh 7y ago
I find it interesting that you assume true love requires someone to prefer to live together. I didn't find the article cynical at all - on the contrary there were stories of several couples who had found a way of being happy and staying in lasting relationships that worked for them despite differences that might have driven them apart if they'd tried to compromise enough to live together. How is finding ways of making love work for you "part of some cynical narrative" just because it doesn't fit the conventional pattern? A more positive reading would be that the article shows that love finds a way.
naasking 7y ago
> True love does exist, even though the internet loves to brainwash you into believing it doesn't. Seems pretty cynical to believe that true love requires cohabitation.
nkrisc 7y ago
Why do you believe co-habitating is a prerequisite of "true love" (good luck defining that). Tangentially, you claim there's some narrative trying to brainwash people into believe "true love" doesn't exist, but we're just supposed to take your word for it that it does?
- watwut 7y ago
  He said that "they stay together despite living in the same apartment". How would you conclude he thinks co-habitating is a prerequisite?
rixed 7y ago
> (...) some cynical narrative on HN ...that Numberwang has just fallen victim of, for sure...
ASalazarMX 7y ago
I've seen that the biggest obstacle is that retired people don't want to be idle, and start bothering their partners for things to do instead of looking for a hobby that relieves their boredom. Help if asked/needed, but seek new interests that don't involve your partner, and let them find their own. If you coincide, awesome, but don't force it.

by tw1010 7y ago

Numberwang 7y ago

For most people true love is a myth. People settle because they ate afraid of being alone. Then they stay out of fear, but unhappy. Children does not bring much happiness either. This is true for most couple. Yes, true love exists for like 5% of couples. This does not mean we should all pretend this is the norm. There are better, more interesting lives to live rather than 40 years of bickering.

chris123 7y ago

All of this depends on your definition of true love. and if love is something you seek to give or seek to receive. If you think they give love, then just give it. Love has no conditions. And it's available and unlimited supply.

maaaats 7y ago

How is it cynical? If something, it's wholesome to see people make nontraditional things work for them.

unicornfinder 7y ago

To be fair I think it depends on the kind of person you are. I'm pretty happy with the person I'm with, but ultimately if I didn't have her I'd probably have someone else and that's fine too. Not to mention, in the nicest way I can put this, I don't really see how any relationship can last forever. I don't mean this as a criticism of my partner, I'm genuinely very happy with her, but I'm also well aware of just how much I change over time.

wffurr 7y ago

I don't know why you think this is a part of some conspiracy. Knowing about more types of relationships is extremely useful for designing software. It helps to avoid baking in assumptions about relationship status and the implications thereof.

vidarh 7y ago

I find it interesting that you assume true love requires someone to prefer to live together. I didn't find the article cynical at all - on the contrary there were stories of several couples who had found a way of being happy and staying in lasting relationships that worked for them despite differences that might have driven them apart if they'd tried to compromise enough to live together. How is finding ways of making love work for you "part of some cynical narrative" just because it doesn't fit the conventional pattern? A more positive reading would be that the article shows that love finds a way.

naasking 7y ago

> True love does exist, even though the internet loves to brainwash you into believing it doesn't. Seems pretty cynical to believe that true love requires cohabitation.

nkrisc 7y ago

Why do you believe co-habitating is a prerequisite of "true love" (good luck defining that). Tangentially, you claim there's some narrative trying to brainwash people into believe "true love" doesn't exist, but we're just supposed to take your word for it that it does?

watwut 7y ago
He said that "they stay together despite living in the same apartment". How would you conclude he thinks co-habitating is a prerequisite?

rixed 7y ago

> (...) some cynical narrative on HN ...that Numberwang has just fallen victim of, for sure...

ASalazarMX 7y ago

I've seen that the biggest obstacle is that retired people don't want to be idle, and start bothering their partners for things to do instead of looking for a hobby that relieves their boredom. Help if asked/needed, but seek new interests that don't involve your partner, and let them find their own. If you coincide, awesome, but don't force it.