I wish you the best. I don't believe there is any psychological condition worse than wanting to die. Even excruciating physical pain at worst can drive you to t

I wish you the best. I don't believe there is any psychological condition worse than wanting to die. Even excruciating physical pain at worst can drive you to that point. I hope you can learn from these experiences, that your will to live or at least your survival instinct has not gone away, even during such episodes, but was merely drowned out by an irrational mechanism.