3 ms·

I think there is something that is inherent to 'nerd culture', at least of a certain generation, which instills a feeling of otherness and persecution by 'alpha

I think there is something that is inherent to 'nerd culture', at least of a certain generation, which instills a feeling of otherness and persecution by 'alphas'. I was a socially awkward nerd in high school with few friends. I left feeling like I was persecuted and had a large chip on my shoulder towards 'normies'. It wasn't until years later that I realized most of it was in my head and self-inflicted. There is a lot of media out there pushing the 'jocks throw nerd in a trashcan' meme. I grew up in places where you'd have thought things like that would have gone on, but in hindsight I don't remember much of it. Sure, the cool kids didn't value intelligence, but they weren't persecuting anyone for it. I get the impression lots of other nerd types have a similar chip on their shoulders, whether from real trauma or imagined. As I have become more fit and more outgoing over the years, I find it's harder to connect with other nerds, perhaps because I don't share the same victimhood fantasy, or maybe I just seem unapproachable to them? I don't know, but I definitely feel more apprehension than when I was a fat guy with bad posture and ill fitting clothes.

licebmi__at__ 7y ago
So the persecution feeling of "nerds" from "jocks" is "mostly in their head and self-inflicted", but the persecution for being "alpha" from "guys with smaller frames" is totally real. And really, I really can't help to think about all the mental baggage someone who uses the term "alpha" has.
- 01100011 7y ago
  On the off chance your reading comprehension has improved since you read my initial comment, it is worth pointing out that I was referring to my personal experience when I said "most of it was in my head and self-inflicted." 'Alpha' is a term of our times. Sorry, I don't define the language. Substitute 'cool kids' or 'socially elite' if it makes you feel better(assuming you want to feel better... maybe you enjoy being righteously indignant?).
tomp 7y ago
I'm really conflicted about this. I'm a nerd. I was bullied in school. I was also fairly small and weak and non-sporty, so I was an easy target. I also liked to talk and especially talk back to the bullies. Who knows, I might have even "psychologically" bullied other people using my wit and intelligence (several of my classmates complained to the teacher once that I would "insult" them which came as a total shock to me... was probably true but I wasn't doing it maliciously and wasn't consciously aware the impact it had on others). It's really hard to generalize from 1 example.
- 01100011 7y ago
  It seems to be fairly common for the abused to turn into the abusers at some point. Once you've internalized the status of a victim, abusing your power over others can seem like justified self-defense or righteous revenge. I remember a lot of 'us'(the uncool kids, 'betas'(haha), nerds, dorks, dweebs, etc) being somewhat conflicted over the Columbine killings, because, while the perpetrators were absolute evil assholes, we understood why someone might feel justified in lashing out at the 'cool kids'(is that more acceptable than 'alpha'?). There are definitely nerd bullies. Hell, my mom and uncle were exactly that in high school. They even used to taunt and make fun of my dad. Unfortunately for my mom, being a smart, sarcastic, cross-eyed nerd girl meant you had to sleep with the dorks, and behold, my family was born.

licebmi__at__ 7y ago

So the persecution feeling of "nerds" from "jocks" is "mostly in their head and self-inflicted", but the persecution for being "alpha" from "guys with smaller frames" is totally real. And really, I really can't help to think about all the mental baggage someone who uses the term "alpha" has.

01100011 7y ago
On the off chance your reading comprehension has improved since you read my initial comment, it is worth pointing out that I was referring to my personal experience when I said "most of it was in my head and self-inflicted." 'Alpha' is a term of our times. Sorry, I don't define the language. Substitute 'cool kids' or 'socially elite' if it makes you feel better(assuming you want to feel better... maybe you enjoy being righteously indignant?).

tomp 7y ago

I'm really conflicted about this. I'm a nerd. I was bullied in school. I was also fairly small and weak and non-sporty, so I was an easy target. I also liked to talk and especially talk back to the bullies. Who knows, I might have even "psychologically" bullied other people using my wit and intelligence (several of my classmates complained to the teacher once that I would "insult" them which came as a total shock to me... was probably true but I wasn't doing it maliciously and wasn't consciously aware the impact it had on others). It's really hard to generalize from 1 example.

01100011 7y ago
It seems to be fairly common for the abused to turn into the abusers at some point. Once you've internalized the status of a victim, abusing your power over others can seem like justified self-defense or righteous revenge. I remember a lot of 'us'(the uncool kids, 'betas'(haha), nerds, dorks, dweebs, etc) being somewhat conflicted over the Columbine killings, because, while the perpetrators were absolute evil assholes, we understood why someone might feel justified in lashing out at the 'cool kids'(is that more acceptable than 'alpha'?). There are definitely nerd bullies. Hell, my mom and uncle were exactly that in high school. They even used to taunt and make fun of my dad. Unfortunately for my mom, being a smart, sarcastic, cross-eyed nerd girl meant you had to sleep with the dorks, and behold, my family was born.