9 ms·

The (Real) Hot Girl Effect and Networking

136 points by sjtgraham 16y ago

zackattack 16y ago
This guy has it all wrong. Here's a possibility: author feels especially confident when beautiful women are around him. This confidence/happiness projects to other people (via mirror neurons / the amygdala / etc.). People find him more enjoyable and approachable. To clarify, I don't claim that being surrounded by bad chicks isn't going to make you feel better about yourself. I suspect that possessing other kinds of cultural capital can do the trick.
- brandnewlow 16y ago
  That's also a factor, I think. But it doesn't negate the argument that seeing someone with an attractive woman deferring to them sends a strong signal to people around you.
  - zackattack 16y ago
    I know plenty of club promoter douches who are "surrounded" by attractive women. They seem to be the counterexample that destroys the rule. Dating an attractive woman certainly implies that you have something going for you. Social proof and all that.
maeon3 16y ago
I'm reminded of Socrates quote in "The Great Dialogues of Plato". "Because in your talk you do nothing but lay commands on people, like young society beauties who are regular tyrants as long as they are young and good-looking. And perhaps you have found me out already; I can't resist the handsome!" The notion of young beautiful women in our society as having less attention than certain less attractive ones is completely wrong. Socrates was calling these beautiful woman tyrants because all men around them were showering them with whatever they wanted. Nothing has changed in the last 2000 years. The only hope for men is to join arms and completely ignore women, but this will never happen, until then they will call the shots until they get old, then they will be married to you, and then they will still call the shots. http://books.google.com/books?id=WMbS85Ijg2oC&printsec=frontcover&dq=great+dialogues+of+plato&source=bl&ots=hN5JL2x40o&sig=I1x9ngBntD0Y5JC19a4Jhp2zyFc&hl=en&ei=BP4bTYnAB4aBlAeh54jPCw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6&sqi=2&ved=0CEYQ6AEwBQ#v=onepage&q=young%20and%20good-looking&f=false http://books.google.com/books?id=WMbS85Ijg2oC&printsec=f...
- jacquesm 16y ago
  > Beautiful women have the world by the balls, when I meet one of these women I remind them that they will get old and be in for a rude awakening. That makes zero sense to me. Everybody gets old, beautiful women too, and for all of us it is a rude awakening. The relative difference between being young and old and being beautiful and average is smaller for 'beautiful or average' than for being young or old. Do you berate the young too for 'being in for a rude awakening'? Whatever you've got use your body to the best of its abilities, you'll never be able to recover time that you've lost and don't begrudge others the bodies they've got, after all you could have been even worse off, possibly lots worse. It's just a giant lottery. To berate people for attributes they did not choose is just another form of jealousy. edit: parent has removed the quoted passage
  - aik 16y ago
    It is a rude awakening for all of us, but I think the point is that one who heavily depends on looks has a much tougher time than someone not dependent on looks. Naturally not every beautiful woman has a heavy dependence on looks, but in general people tend to flaunt whatever extra-ordinary attribute they have, be it a natural and short-lived or learned and life-long.
    - jacquesm 16y ago
      I'm pretty sure that those that are beautiful are well aware of how fleeting it is, I just can't see it is a justification to put them down like that. Should people that are born in to money discard it so they can live an average life in order not to offend? Should those that are beautiful spend their lives in burlap sacks lest they give offense to those less fortunate (Burka's?). People don't 'depend' on their good looks, people simply use the tools that they've got and beauty in a society so focused on beauty is a very powerful tool. The interesting thing here is that everybody else makes it in to a powerful thing, not the person having it, they just use the power granted.
      - mdda 16y ago
stcredzero 16y ago
I've been told by people who've been sent on corporate junkets to Gartner shindigs/what-have-you, that they have lots of "high-status" (hot) women wandering around. It was the same with that french psychologist who had the Madison Avenue types eating out of his hand in "The Century of the Self" documentary. Having beautiful women around is a signal of dominance. People who want to project power use this, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. Film-makers use this whenever they want to portray someone with power. The flip side: when you are hanging out with the other geeks, realizing you're at yet another sausage fest, does this make you feel powerful, or not so much? To paraphrase the opera Carmen: if you want any enterprise to succeed, be sure you have women along!
- brandnewlow 16y ago
  "Film-makers use this whenever they want to portray someone with power." My favorite recent example of this: The scene in the Dark Knight when Bruce Wayne is shown sunning himself on the deck of his yacht alongside soloists from the Moscow Ballet. edited: It was the Moscow Ballet, not the Gotham Ballet.
  - ygd 16y ago
    I thought it was the Moscow Ballet...
    - brandnewlow 16y ago
      Fixed! I guess I wasn't paying enough attention during that scene...
- wallflower 16y ago
  > Having beautiful women around is a signal of dominance. Excerpt from a book by Emily Gould (ex-Gawker blogger), talking about her real job at a publishing firm "One of my tasks at my first job had been to stand at the locked doors near the elevator bank and lead guests inside. I would stand in the doorway and wait and, when I heard the ping of the elevator reaching the publishing house's floor, I'd start smiling. After shaking the guests' hands I would lead them into the little waiting area where there were two armchairs and a little table next to a rack of our newest shiny hardcovers, and I'd bring them coffee or tea or water and then go sit back at my desk. Then, when my boss was ready - he let some people wait longer than others - he'd tell me to go and get them, and I'd lead them through the maze of the office, chatting brightly over my shoulder. If the person or people walking behind me were men, I would be conscious of their eyes following the movement of my back, conscious always like the books displayed in the waiting area: an ornament that demonstrated the company's power."
huertanix 16y ago
"I was introduced to the ”Hot Girl Effect” by a girl I dated once. This girl is an absolute knockout, and very smart too." Pics or it didn't happen.
- HaloZero 16y ago
  I have no idea how to give you a negative rating (i only see a ^ button) but yeah, -1
  - jacquesm 16y ago
    454 credits to go.
    - JonnieCache 16y ago
      It increases over time because as the userbase grows, there is karma inflation. It was just over 500 when I passed it a week or two ago.
  - araneae 16y ago
    Downvoting requires a certain karma threshold.
  - codexon 16y ago
    I don't understand why you guys are downvoting him. Other than the "Pics or it didn't happen" meme, he is raising the issue that the article is hugely anecdotal even though it seems like common sense. That is a valid point.
    - cabalamat 16y ago
      > I don't understand why you guys are downvoting him. Maybe they don't want HN to become Reddit; after all, we've already got one Reddit, we don't need another.
      - huertanix 16y ago
3pt14159 16y ago
This post depresses me. I'm a man and certainly no feminist, but posts on the usefulness of attractive, female RoR developers leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. I was going to comment on the nature of our field, but it's probably the same almost everywhere, from banking to bricklaying to hacking. I'll be in my terminal.
- sjtgraham 16y ago
  She wasn't a developer of any description and as a matter of fact doesn't even work in tech. She knew of Ruby on Rails because as someone she was dating, she wanted to know what made me tick.
  - 3pt14159 16y ago
    That is even worse. She didn't even know rails and she was the life of the party. It's great to have SOs that try to dig what you are into (mine does, and after a while started writing up HTML and CSS for side cash; starting to get into JavaScript too), but honestly dude writing about using hot girls that barely know what rails is to get contacts at tech events certainly doesn't make us look like upstanding gentlemen. It makes it look like we look towards girls as if they are objects, rather than interesting people. The whole theme of putting yourself on a level playing ground with super rich guys because they just can't buy a smart hot girl is offsetting too. But whatever, my original comments downvoted anyways, so I'm probably wrong and just being too touchy.
    - sjtgraham 16y ago
      You make a lot of assumptions. Who is to say this was per se a tech event? It actually wasn't, it was the birthday celebrations of a major record company. The people whom I spoke with were from a large advertising agency that use Rails developers internally. I don't see any reason to see why she shouldn't be the life and soul of a party, she is a very beautiful and very smart woman, an intoxicating combination! I seem to have touched a nerve with you re this post. I apologise, I did not mean to cause any offence. S
wallflower 16y ago
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care"
flip 16y ago
Brilliant observations and use of the "my guy." Made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I find that this is much more the norm for how successful networking. No one's going to argue with the babe.
ohashi 16y ago
mirror: http://blog.shrewple.com.nyud.net/ http://blog.shrewple.com.nyud.net/
readymade 16y ago
Does anyone else find it comical that the author spends so much of his post talking up the virtues of not being a people user, while simultaneously offering advice on how to use women? I guess if you're dating her that's one thing, but as a general strategy? Replace "girlfriend" with "hot secretary"(or "athletic looking black man", feel free to get creative here) – I honestly don't see how is this somehow more tolerable than pitching to a potential investor without getting to know them first.
- sjtgraham 16y ago
  Probably no one else has found it comical, because I haven't offered any such advice. The only thing I have done is highlight the apparent good will conferred by being associated with attractive women. The girl in question was not coerced or cajoled into doing what she did, she did so completely of her own initiative. Also using the help of someone you are dating someone is completely different to 'pitching to a potential investor without getting to know them first' or 'being a people user' and I object to that. One does what one can to help a SO, there are many ways in which favours are returned.
  - readymade 16y ago
    I have to concede here – by the time I wrote this comment I was responding more to the general tone of the thread than to your article. I apologize for making you sound like a douche. Touchy subject for many.
    - sjtgraham 16y ago
      Thanks man, I appreciate it. S
brandnewlow 16y ago
Ultimate Hot Girl Effect Evilness: My 30-year-old uber lawyer buddy has a gorgeous blonde fiance. She's in med school and is crazy smart. She's awesome. My buddy decided at 27 that he wanted to get into chess. He got really into it, hired a teacher and by 29 or so was moving his rating up pretty well. As a newcomer though, he often finds himself competing against 13-15 year old boys at his weekend tournements. In fact he's often the only person over 18 playing in some of these tournaments. He has a good sense of humor about it, but some of these kids, he says, are just total turds to the other kids they compete against. When he learns he has to play against a kid who's mean to other kids, he calls in the Fiance and has her sit behind him while he plays, just reading whatever she has to read for med school. She'll spend a whole Saturday sitting there behind him while he plays, her nose stuck in a book. It just destroys the kids. He catches them trying to steal glances at her all the time during the games. Just breaks their chess mojo. For the cool kids, kids who are struggling to figure out women at that age, he introduces them to her and she knows to treat them like the coolest guys in the room. Meanwhile, the mean bully kids get ignored and seethe in the corner.
- mahmud 16y ago
  The chess arena might need some Cougar-proofing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_Woods#Tiger-proofing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_Woods#Tiger-proofing
- xenophanes 16y ago
  Bullies aged 13-15 are not, in general, bad people deep down. Especially not the ones who go to chess tournaments. It is, in general, not really their fault. Children this age have little control over their lives, so even if they had some good ideas to fix their situation they might well be prevented from doing anything. You can't really blame people for stuff they aren't in control of. So have a bit more sympathy and stop being actively mean to them.
  - JoeAltmaier 16y ago
    That's liberal crap. Everybody is in charge of exactly one thing, and that's themselves. The difference between good people and bad ones is dependent upon exactly one thing, and that's how they treat others. The idea that there's some truer "deep down" person vs what you see, is also crap. Sure there's potential in everybody, but your true, real self is what you show to everyone every day. That cool deep-down person you never show? That's the imaginary you, not the real you.
deleted 16y ago
[deleted]
dsgrweger 16y ago
-------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ Gold autumn, personality Men’s clothing + Shoes, Travel bag that grabs an eye coat + Chao packet Free transport -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------
melissamiranda 16y ago
Ha. I'm a hot girl who went to an ivy school with 4yrs in startups (yes I code), and got completely dissed by Dave McClure when I tried to introduce myself. Do not approach this man cold. He is mobbed at every networking event being one of the more visible people in the valley. Try to find one of his zillion advisors in the valley, get them to know you, and make an intro. He's completely different if you've been introduced by someone he trusts. Case in point is my co-founder meeting him in Japan and having the best meeting ever.
swombat 16y ago
I was at the same party and Dave was not surrounded by baying mobs of nerds, far from it. In general, he had a couple of people from his entourage (who arrived with him) that he spoke to most of the time. In fact, at one point he was clearly looking for more conversation, as I saw him wandering through the crowd alone and finally arriving at our group and joining the conversation. Perhaps the baying crowds of nerds were in the author's mind.
gkoberger 16y ago
I would argue there's a difference between this example and the original. With someone like McClure or Arrington, the people approaching them want something specific. Their businesses are on the line, and the unwritten protocol is that you walk up to one of these men, give them your elevator pitch, and they make or break you. (If you were desperate to keep the metaphor going- maybe they're prostitutes? By this, I mean that when you walk up to them, you know what you want and they know what you want: 5 minutes of their time. Sure, they may be a hot girl, but it doesn't matter because it's a business transaction.) The CFO, on the other hand, is more like a girl you would potentially want a relationship with. Very little good will come from pitching the CFO (or a movie star, etc). An example for me is Tim Ferriss- a bunch of people were standing and watching him outside at a conference he spoke at. I walked up and introduced myself, and he was one of the nicest guys I've ever met. If Tim Ferriss could make or break peoples careers, he'd have been mobbed, too.
xcvgreghre 16y ago
-------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://yep.it/fyphgj http://yep.it/fyphgj ------ Gold autumn, personality Men’s clothing + Shoes, Travel bag that grabs an eye coat + Chao packet Free transport -------- http://yep.it/fyphgj http://yep.it/fyphgj ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------
sdghrth 16y ago
-------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://yep.it/fyphgj http://yep.it/fyphgj ------ Gold autumn, personality Men’s clothing + Shoes, Travel bag that grabs an eye coat + Chao packet Free transport -------- http://yep.it/fyphgj http://yep.it/fyphgj ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------ -------- http://ta.gg/4wt http://ta.gg/4wt ------
bonaldi 16y ago
He keeps people in his "repertoire" and gets to know them via the amazing mutual interest in "hot women", then protests that he is completely different from all those networkers because he doesn't use people and has shared interests. Riight.
mfukar 16y ago
Wow. By far the most sexist thread on HN since I joined, huge props to us!
gabea 16y ago
I would say that the rule one should live by is to utilize the talents and physical attributes God gave you to the best of your ability, but use them in the most humble of ways. At the end of the day you will taste true success.
Parabola 16y ago
This isn't solely a Hot Girl thing. Hot Guys have inherent stature and power too.

136 points by sjtgraham 16y ago

This guy has it all wrong. Here's a possibility: author feels especially confident when beautiful women are around him. This confidence/happiness projects to other people (via mirror neurons / the amygdala / etc.). People find him more enjoyable and approachable. To clarify, I don't claim that being surrounded by bad chicks isn't going to make you feel better about yourself. I suspect that possessing other kinds of cultural capital can do the trick.

brandnewlow 16y ago
That's also a factor, I think. But it doesn't negate the argument that seeing someone with an attractive woman deferring to them sends a strong signal to people around you.
- zackattack 16y ago
  I know plenty of club promoter douches who are "surrounded" by attractive women. They seem to be the counterexample that destroys the rule. Dating an attractive woman certainly implies that you have something going for you. Social proof and all that.

maeon3 16y ago

I'm reminded of Socrates quote in "The Great Dialogues of Plato". "Because in your talk you do nothing but lay commands on people, like young society beauties who are regular tyrants as long as they are young and good-looking. And perhaps you have found me out already; I can't resist the handsome!" The notion of young beautiful women in our society as having less attention than certain less attractive ones is completely wrong. Socrates was calling these beautiful woman tyrants because all men around them were showering them with whatever they wanted. Nothing has changed in the last 2000 years. The only hope for men is to join arms and completely ignore women, but this will never happen, until then they will call the shots until they get old, then they will be married to you, and then they will still call the shots. http://books.google.com/books?id=WMbS85Ijg2oC&printsec=frontcover&dq=great+dialogues+of+plato&source=bl&ots=hN5JL2x40o&sig=I1x9ngBntD0Y5JC19a4Jhp2zyFc&hl=en&ei=BP4bTYnAB4aBlAeh54jPCw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6&sqi=2&ved=0CEYQ6AEwBQ#v=onepage&q=young%20and%20good-looking&f=false http://books.google.com/books?id=WMbS85Ijg2oC&printsec=f...

jacquesm 16y ago
> Beautiful women have the world by the balls, when I meet one of these women I remind them that they will get old and be in for a rude awakening. That makes zero sense to me. Everybody gets old, beautiful women too, and for all of us it is a rude awakening. The relative difference between being young and old and being beautiful and average is smaller for 'beautiful or average' than for being young or old. Do you berate the young too for 'being in for a rude awakening'? Whatever you've got use your body to the best of its abilities, you'll never be able to recover time that you've lost and don't begrudge others the bodies they've got, after all you could have been even worse off, possibly lots worse. It's just a giant lottery. To berate people for attributes they did not choose is just another form of jealousy. edit: parent has removed the quoted passage
- aik 16y ago
  It is a rude awakening for all of us, but I think the point is that one who heavily depends on looks has a much tougher time than someone not dependent on looks. Naturally not every beautiful woman has a heavy dependence on looks, but in general people tend to flaunt whatever extra-ordinary attribute they have, be it a natural and short-lived or learned and life-long.
  - jacquesm 16y ago
    I'm pretty sure that those that are beautiful are well aware of how fleeting it is, I just can't see it is a justification to put them down like that. Should people that are born in to money discard it so they can live an average life in order not to offend? Should those that are beautiful spend their lives in burlap sacks lest they give offense to those less fortunate (Burka's?). People don't 'depend' on their good looks, people simply use the tools that they've got and beauty in a society so focused on beauty is a very powerful tool. The interesting thing here is that everybody else makes it in to a powerful thing, not the person having it, they just use the power granted.
    - mdda 16y ago

stcredzero 16y ago

I've been told by people who've been sent on corporate junkets to Gartner shindigs/what-have-you, that they have lots of "high-status" (hot) women wandering around. It was the same with that french psychologist who had the Madison Avenue types eating out of his hand in "The Century of the Self" documentary. Having beautiful women around is a signal of dominance. People who want to project power use this, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. Film-makers use this whenever they want to portray someone with power. The flip side: when you are hanging out with the other geeks, realizing you're at yet another sausage fest, does this make you feel powerful, or not so much? To paraphrase the opera Carmen: if you want any enterprise to succeed, be sure you have women along!

brandnewlow 16y ago
"Film-makers use this whenever they want to portray someone with power." My favorite recent example of this: The scene in the Dark Knight when Bruce Wayne is shown sunning himself on the deck of his yacht alongside soloists from the Moscow Ballet. edited: It was the Moscow Ballet, not the Gotham Ballet.
- ygd 16y ago
  I thought it was the Moscow Ballet...
  - brandnewlow 16y ago
    Fixed! I guess I wasn't paying enough attention during that scene...
wallflower 16y ago
> Having beautiful women around is a signal of dominance. Excerpt from a book by Emily Gould (ex-Gawker blogger), talking about her real job at a publishing firm "One of my tasks at my first job had been to stand at the locked doors near the elevator bank and lead guests inside. I would stand in the doorway and wait and, when I heard the ping of the elevator reaching the publishing house's floor, I'd start smiling. After shaking the guests' hands I would lead them into the little waiting area where there were two armchairs and a little table next to a rack of our newest shiny hardcovers, and I'd bring them coffee or tea or water and then go sit back at my desk. Then, when my boss was ready - he let some people wait longer than others - he'd tell me to go and get them, and I'd lead them through the maze of the office, chatting brightly over my shoulder. If the person or people walking behind me were men, I would be conscious of their eyes following the movement of my back, conscious always like the books displayed in the waiting area: an ornament that demonstrated the company's power."

huertanix 16y ago

"I was introduced to the ”Hot Girl Effect” by a girl I dated once. This girl is an absolute knockout, and very smart too." Pics or it didn't happen.

HaloZero 16y ago
I have no idea how to give you a negative rating (i only see a ^ button) but yeah, -1
- jacquesm 16y ago
  454 credits to go.
  - JonnieCache 16y ago
    It increases over time because as the userbase grows, there is karma inflation. It was just over 500 when I passed it a week or two ago.
- araneae 16y ago
  Downvoting requires a certain karma threshold.
- codexon 16y ago
  I don't understand why you guys are downvoting him. Other than the "Pics or it didn't happen" meme, he is raising the issue that the article is hugely anecdotal even though it seems like common sense. That is a valid point.
  - cabalamat 16y ago
    > I don't understand why you guys are downvoting him. Maybe they don't want HN to become Reddit; after all, we've already got one Reddit, we don't need another.
    - huertanix 16y ago

3pt14159 16y ago

This post depresses me. I'm a man and certainly no feminist, but posts on the usefulness of attractive, female RoR developers leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. I was going to comment on the nature of our field, but it's probably the same almost everywhere, from banking to bricklaying to hacking. I'll be in my terminal.

sjtgraham 16y ago
She wasn't a developer of any description and as a matter of fact doesn't even work in tech. She knew of Ruby on Rails because as someone she was dating, she wanted to know what made me tick.
- 3pt14159 16y ago
  That is even worse. She didn't even know rails and she was the life of the party. It's great to have SOs that try to dig what you are into (mine does, and after a while started writing up HTML and CSS for side cash; starting to get into JavaScript too), but honestly dude writing about using hot girls that barely know what rails is to get contacts at tech events certainly doesn't make us look like upstanding gentlemen. It makes it look like we look towards girls as if they are objects, rather than interesting people. The whole theme of putting yourself on a level playing ground with super rich guys because they just can't buy a smart hot girl is offsetting too. But whatever, my original comments downvoted anyways, so I'm probably wrong and just being too touchy.
  - sjtgraham 16y ago
    You make a lot of assumptions. Who is to say this was per se a tech event? It actually wasn't, it was the birthday celebrations of a major record company. The people whom I spoke with were from a large advertising agency that use Rails developers internally. I don't see any reason to see why she shouldn't be the life and soul of a party, she is a very beautiful and very smart woman, an intoxicating combination! I seem to have touched a nerve with you re this post. I apologise, I did not mean to cause any offence. S

wallflower 16y ago

"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care"

flip 16y ago

Brilliant observations and use of the "my guy." Made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I find that this is much more the norm for how successful networking. No one's going to argue with the babe.

ohashi 16y ago

mirror: http://blog.shrewple.com.nyud.net/ http://blog.shrewple.com.nyud.net/

readymade 16y ago

Does anyone else find it comical that the author spends so much of his post talking up the virtues of not being a people user, while simultaneously offering advice on how to use women? I guess if you're dating her that's one thing, but as a general strategy? Replace "girlfriend" with "hot secretary"(or "athletic looking black man", feel free to get creative here) – I honestly don't see how is this somehow more tolerable than pitching to a potential investor without getting to know them first.

sjtgraham 16y ago
Probably no one else has found it comical, because I haven't offered any such advice. The only thing I have done is highlight the apparent good will conferred by being associated with attractive women. The girl in question was not coerced or cajoled into doing what she did, she did so completely of her own initiative. Also using the help of someone you are dating someone is completely different to 'pitching to a potential investor without getting to know them first' or 'being a people user' and I object to that. One does what one can to help a SO, there are many ways in which favours are returned.
- readymade 16y ago
  I have to concede here – by the time I wrote this comment I was responding more to the general tone of the thread than to your article. I apologize for making you sound like a douche. Touchy subject for many.
  - sjtgraham 16y ago
    Thanks man, I appreciate it. S

brandnewlow 16y ago

Ultimate Hot Girl Effect Evilness: My 30-year-old uber lawyer buddy has a gorgeous blonde fiance. She's in med school and is crazy smart. She's awesome. My buddy decided at 27 that he wanted to get into chess. He got really into it, hired a teacher and by 29 or so was moving his rating up pretty well. As a newcomer though, he often finds himself competing against 13-15 year old boys at his weekend tournements. In fact he's often the only person over 18 playing in some of these tournaments. He has a good sense of humor about it, but some of these kids, he says, are just total turds to the other kids they compete against. When he learns he has to play against a kid who's mean to other kids, he calls in the Fiance and has her sit behind him while he plays, just reading whatever she has to read for med school. She'll spend a whole Saturday sitting there behind him while he plays, her nose stuck in a book. It just destroys the kids. He catches them trying to steal glances at her all the time during the games. Just breaks their chess mojo. For the cool kids, kids who are struggling to figure out women at that age, he introduces them to her and she knows to treat them like the coolest guys in the room. Meanwhile, the mean bully kids get ignored and seethe in the corner.

mahmud 16y ago
The chess arena might need some Cougar-proofing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_Woods#Tiger-proofing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_Woods#Tiger-proofing
xenophanes 16y ago
Bullies aged 13-15 are not, in general, bad people deep down. Especially not the ones who go to chess tournaments. It is, in general, not really their fault. Children this age have little control over their lives, so even if they had some good ideas to fix their situation they might well be prevented from doing anything. You can't really blame people for stuff they aren't in control of. So have a bit more sympathy and stop being actively mean to them.
- JoeAltmaier 16y ago
  That's liberal crap. Everybody is in charge of exactly one thing, and that's themselves. The difference between good people and bad ones is dependent upon exactly one thing, and that's how they treat others. The idea that there's some truer "deep down" person vs what you see, is also crap. Sure there's potential in everybody, but your true, real self is what you show to everyone every day. That cool deep-down person you never show? That's the imaginary you, not the real you.

deleted 16y ago

[deleted]

dsgrweger 16y ago

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melissamiranda 16y ago

Ha. I'm a hot girl who went to an ivy school with 4yrs in startups (yes I code), and got completely dissed by Dave McClure when I tried to introduce myself. Do not approach this man cold. He is mobbed at every networking event being one of the more visible people in the valley. Try to find one of his zillion advisors in the valley, get them to know you, and make an intro. He's completely different if you've been introduced by someone he trusts. Case in point is my co-founder meeting him in Japan and having the best meeting ever.

swombat 16y ago

I was at the same party and Dave was not surrounded by baying mobs of nerds, far from it. In general, he had a couple of people from his entourage (who arrived with him) that he spoke to most of the time. In fact, at one point he was clearly looking for more conversation, as I saw him wandering through the crowd alone and finally arriving at our group and joining the conversation. Perhaps the baying crowds of nerds were in the author's mind.

gkoberger 16y ago

I would argue there's a difference between this example and the original. With someone like McClure or Arrington, the people approaching them want something specific. Their businesses are on the line, and the unwritten protocol is that you walk up to one of these men, give them your elevator pitch, and they make or break you. (If you were desperate to keep the metaphor going- maybe they're prostitutes? By this, I mean that when you walk up to them, you know what you want and they know what you want: 5 minutes of their time. Sure, they may be a hot girl, but it doesn't matter because it's a business transaction.) The CFO, on the other hand, is more like a girl you would potentially want a relationship with. Very little good will come from pitching the CFO (or a movie star, etc). An example for me is Tim Ferriss- a bunch of people were standing and watching him outside at a conference he spoke at. I walked up and introduced myself, and he was one of the nicest guys I've ever met. If Tim Ferriss could make or break peoples careers, he'd have been mobbed, too.

xcvgreghre 16y ago

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sdghrth 16y ago

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bonaldi 16y ago

He keeps people in his "repertoire" and gets to know them via the amazing mutual interest in "hot women", then protests that he is completely different from all those networkers because he doesn't use people and has shared interests. Riight.

mfukar 16y ago

Wow. By far the most sexist thread on HN since I joined, huge props to us!

gabea 16y ago

I would say that the rule one should live by is to utilize the talents and physical attributes God gave you to the best of your ability, but use them in the most humble of ways. At the end of the day you will taste true success.

Parabola 16y ago

This isn't solely a Hot Girl thing. Hot Guys have inherent stature and power too.