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If you're looking for alternatives, I recommend reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Get the OG version (even if it comes with fo

If you're looking for alternatives, I recommend reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Get the OG version (even if it comes with forwards or whatever), not the "for the age of the internet" or whatever version. It sometimes uses outdated language but it is to date the best compilation of "how to interact with other humans effectively" advice that I've read, and I've read lots of these sorts of books. Honestly, I think it should be required reading in highschool, if nothing else because of the huge focus on empathy would be very healthy in interpersonal communication in our country.

hi41 7y ago
This is my personal experience. I read HTWFAIP when I was in 8th grade. As a young teenager I was a timid person and I placed huge importance on what other people felt about me. As an adult in 40s, I am still timid and never say no. I say yes to everything and I usually get assigned to shitty tasks. I wish I wasn't such a people-pleaser and I wish I had the guts to say no. I attribute my current professional breakdown to reading HTWFAIP which by its very title hopes to be a book through which you can influence others. I wish I did not care so much about what other people thought about me and I wasn't such a back-bone-less people pleaser. I hate "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
- sprucely 7y ago
  I also didn't care for the book. But my problem was that it seemed disingenuous. It claimed to be about influencing others, when in fact it was about being genuinely interested in others. Halfway through i put it down because it gave no indication that it would actually get around to explaining HOW to develop an interest in others.
  - loco5niner 7y ago
    > It claimed to be about influencing others, when in fact it was about being genuinely interested in others. Isn't influencing others simply a side-benefit to being genuinely interested in them? I would imagine that is the natural outcome. I would be glad for people to go into the book wanting to "fix other people" or "take advantage of others" and come away wanting to genuinely care for others.
  - komali2 7y ago
    I dunno, that was a recommendation on how to make the strategies easier. But you could follow each of the bullet points while hiding your total disinterest in people I guess, and still accomplish the goal of the book.

hi41 7y ago

This is my personal experience. I read HTWFAIP when I was in 8th grade. As a young teenager I was a timid person and I placed huge importance on what other people felt about me. As an adult in 40s, I am still timid and never say no. I say yes to everything and I usually get assigned to shitty tasks. I wish I wasn't such a people-pleaser and I wish I had the guts to say no. I attribute my current professional breakdown to reading HTWFAIP which by its very title hopes to be a book through which you can influence others. I wish I did not care so much about what other people thought about me and I wasn't such a back-bone-less people pleaser. I hate "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

sprucely 7y ago
I also didn't care for the book. But my problem was that it seemed disingenuous. It claimed to be about influencing others, when in fact it was about being genuinely interested in others. Halfway through i put it down because it gave no indication that it would actually get around to explaining HOW to develop an interest in others.
- loco5niner 7y ago
  > It claimed to be about influencing others, when in fact it was about being genuinely interested in others. Isn't influencing others simply a side-benefit to being genuinely interested in them? I would imagine that is the natural outcome. I would be glad for people to go into the book wanting to "fix other people" or "take advantage of others" and come away wanting to genuinely care for others.
- komali2 7y ago
  I dunno, that was a recommendation on how to make the strategies easier. But you could follow each of the bullet points while hiding your total disinterest in people I guess, and still accomplish the goal of the book.