4 ms·

What you described here is essentially 'survivorship bias'. Also,just because someone married away into a cosy suburb with 2 kids and a nice hubby,it doesn't me

What you described here is essentially 'survivorship bias'. Also,just because someone married away into a cosy suburb with 2 kids and a nice hubby,it doesn't mean they aren't lonely. There are millions of people out there who would kill for a chance to have someone outside that "perfect" life just to talk openly with... All those "desperate housewives" don't get created without reason.

watwut 7y ago
Suburbs and 2 kids are both isolating. Especially when kids are small.
- war1025 7y ago
  Kids don't have to be isolating. You just have to adjust your life to do things that are if not kid-friendly, kid-accepting. Also have to get over the fear that people will judge you for taking your kids with you out into the world.
- d1zzy 7y ago
  It depends on where you coming from. I agree that for someone that had a very active social life before having kids and moving to the suburbs would likely see a drop in that activity when suddenly having to take care of small kids in a suburban situation. However, for someone that before having kids they already don't have any friends/family close by (imagine a fresh middle-aged, childless, immigrant couple moving in an area where there are very few other people from their own country), having kids would force a lot more opportunities to interact with other people (doctors, caretakers, teachers, other parents, etc) and ultimately speed up integration. Sure, none of those relationships may become a deep friendship connection but it's a lot better than having no human interaction.
LordFast 7y ago
It's not a perfect life (there isn't one), and there's no argument from me about there being different strokes for different folks. At the end of the day, however, even Einstein had to poop out of his own butt. What I said should be taken with a grain of salt. I did what I did for more than a decade, savoring both the good and the bad.
rayiner 7y ago
Again, I think this is more a problem with upper middle class suburbs. I grew up in the DC suburbs, where nobody knew each other because nobody was from there. They had moved there for careers; often it was a government position and they’d move back to Michigan or wherever after the political appointee they worked for left office. That was distinctly different from my wife’s experience. (Most of her extended family lives within a couple of hours of the homestead her family had when they came over in the wagon trains, and her parents went to the same high school.)

watwut 7y ago

Suburbs and 2 kids are both isolating. Especially when kids are small.

war1025 7y ago
Kids don't have to be isolating. You just have to adjust your life to do things that are if not kid-friendly, kid-accepting. Also have to get over the fear that people will judge you for taking your kids with you out into the world.
d1zzy 7y ago
It depends on where you coming from. I agree that for someone that had a very active social life before having kids and moving to the suburbs would likely see a drop in that activity when suddenly having to take care of small kids in a suburban situation. However, for someone that before having kids they already don't have any friends/family close by (imagine a fresh middle-aged, childless, immigrant couple moving in an area where there are very few other people from their own country), having kids would force a lot more opportunities to interact with other people (doctors, caretakers, teachers, other parents, etc) and ultimately speed up integration. Sure, none of those relationships may become a deep friendship connection but it's a lot better than having no human interaction.

LordFast 7y ago

It's not a perfect life (there isn't one), and there's no argument from me about there being different strokes for different folks. At the end of the day, however, even Einstein had to poop out of his own butt. What I said should be taken with a grain of salt. I did what I did for more than a decade, savoring both the good and the bad.

rayiner 7y ago

Again, I think this is more a problem with upper middle class suburbs. I grew up in the DC suburbs, where nobody knew each other because nobody was from there. They had moved there for careers; often it was a government position and they’d move back to Michigan or wherever after the political appointee they worked for left office. That was distinctly different from my wife’s experience. (Most of her extended family lives within a couple of hours of the homestead her family had when they came over in the wagon trains, and her parents went to the same high school.)