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For me it is a rather paradoxical situation. On the one hand I am a very lonely person and on the other hand I like being alone. When I am alone I tend towards

For me it is a rather paradoxical situation. On the one hand I am a very lonely person and on the other hand I like being alone. When I am alone I tend towards depression and crave social interaction but not all social interaction works. For instance, if I spend a day with my family it is usually great for about 2 or 3 hours and then all I can think about is getting home so I can be by myself again. For me it is not enough to just be with people. For instance, when I was in HS I would never have characterized myself as a lonely person. I believe that is because those relationships, long forgotten, had serious depth. I also had more confidence when I was younger making my intimate life easier to progress. However, now a days I have neither and I have lost the confidence to strike up the band. I honestly find it hard to even look a women in the eyes much less ask her for her name and tell her mine. Tbh, even if I was going to force myself to make a new friend I wouldn't know where to start. Luckily for me I have pretty damn thick skin and have learned to deal with my loneliness, depression and anxiety. That being said, at 32, I find myself feeling as though dying young and alone is a probability. However, I take heart in knowing that it could be worse, for many people are simply dying of starvation and so, on the whole, I am a pretty lucky guy. If loneliness is a problem that someone else can solve I just don't see how. From my perspective, this is a problem that, like a snowball rolling down a hill, builds up over time and eventually takes on a life of its own.

em-bee 7y ago
not paradoxical at all. i went through a similar experience. i found that for me the solution was to have very few but very close friends, including my wife. those then were the only people that i could socialize with without being exhausted. but even then i need a few hours to myself every day. the hardest part was how long it took to understand the problem. you seem to understand the problem already, and that puts you into the position to do something about it. you don't need to strike up the band. find activities that you are interested in. a hobby, or volunteer somewhere. the nice thing about both is that you are not expected to do it for the sake of meeting people, so you don't need to push yourself to talk to anyone, and noone will mind if you just focus on the work. the socialization will come eventually. by the time you get to look a woman into the eyes, you may already have shared your activities for a few months or more. i met my wife that way.

em-bee 7y ago

not paradoxical at all. i went through a similar experience. i found that for me the solution was to have very few but very close friends, including my wife. those then were the only people that i could socialize with without being exhausted. but even then i need a few hours to myself every day. the hardest part was how long it took to understand the problem. you seem to understand the problem already, and that puts you into the position to do something about it. you don't need to strike up the band. find activities that you are interested in. a hobby, or volunteer somewhere. the nice thing about both is that you are not expected to do it for the sake of meeting people, so you don't need to push yourself to talk to anyone, and noone will mind if you just focus on the work. the socialization will come eventually. by the time you get to look a woman into the eyes, you may already have shared your activities for a few months or more. i met my wife that way.