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Really. I think the big problem here is social networks. Nobody interact face to face.I used to go to bars , look for a pretty girl and pay her a drink to star

Really. I think the big problem here is social networks. Nobody interact face to face.I used to go to bars , look for a pretty girl and pay her a drink to start a conversation. Nowdays this is considered creep. They expect that I download an app, wait for a match ans just goeet for a quick chat and maybe some action. Just turn of your computers and go to a bar. Interact to people. Start conversations with stranger people. You may meet weird people. But also will meet amazing people.

peteey 7y ago
Offering strangers liquid drugs in hopes of "some action" was probably creepy back in the day too. Alcohol and hookup culture are not mutually exclusive to loneliness.
- AdrianB1 7y ago
  Offering a drink in a bar was never creepy when I was younger. Offering a home-made drink that nobody but you knows what's in it, that is creepy. Calling a gin tonic "liquid drugs" is grotesque in the context.
  - major505 7y ago
    Yeah.... thas weird.... but I sure could go for a gin tonica... here in brasil people usually don't drink fancy stuff, like pink blueberry, or things like that. Usually beer, straith licor or things like vodka/cachaça with fruits. I just drink fancy girly stuff like Daiquiris when I in the mood to learn a new drink, and can drink in peace without other people to judge my frail masculinity.
- major505 7y ago
  You sure need some drugs to loose a little.
astura 7y ago
I met my husband less than a decade ago in a bar. I still talk to strangers in bars now too. Its not any more creepy to socialize with strangers in bars now than it was in the past, as long as you respect boundaries and aren't a creep about it. The vast majority of people still meet their partners through "traditional" means, very, very few meet through sites and apps. And when I say "very, very few" I'm talking less than 10%. https://www.mic.com/articles/112062/the-way-most-people-meet-their-significant-others-is-not-what-you-think https://www.mic.com/articles/112062/the-way-most-people-meet... https://www.bustle.com/p/the-most-popular-ways-people-are-meeting-their-significant-others-in-2018-8075828 https://www.bustle.com/p/the-most-popular-ways-people-are-me...
- swiley 7y ago
  I think he meant buying the drink is creepy. I go to bars on occasion and meet women my age and younger, but I've never bought them a drink because I feel the same way (although I don't think they expect it either.) Starting the conversation is hard and it can be very difficult to tell if they really want to talk before they do, I guess that's part of why you want a good bartender because they'll usually start conversations with everyone.
  - major505 7y ago
    Welll you just dont walk straing in. You first exchange glances, see if shes alone, whatt shes drinking (soft drinks, hard licor, beer, some fancy cocktail) and judge something about her personality, if you think you have a chance, then you pay for a drink, or just straigth hit her with something, in my case somthing dumb like "Hey, how much a polar bear weigths? Enougth to break the ice!". What I think is creep is some stranger who straigup knows your name, your face, and can just as easy starting to virtual stalking your life and find out where you live. Fucking hating online dating solutions like tinder.... really not good talker on line, without seeing the person face to face.
  - major505 7y ago
    Acctually what I meant is, young people usually think talking and interacting to strangers is creepy. Like. Ok you can be creep, and is easy to look creep when you talking to a beatfull woman an is an insecure nerd. Been there, done that.
bluntfang 7y ago
the creepy part is going to a public place and sexualizing it by explicitly seeking out "pretty girl"s and buying them drinks. Going out and seek genuine connections with people instead of buying "pretty girl"s drinks is not creepy.
- AdrianB1 7y ago
  You don't go in a bar for a deep conversation, you have the library and local groups of interests for that. A bar is just for relaxing and socialization, you can talk anything you want as long as you find someone to listen (or ignore) you.
  - throwaway3627 7y ago
    Libraries, at least in the US, are mostly silence zones apart from information/checkout areas. There are still a few independent bookstores left, and those are good. College is still the preferred and most popular setting to meet a quality spouse. Online should be considered one of many tools as an adjunct to IRL, but not the primary source.
  - major505 7y ago
    I guess... if you looking for more common people... personally I'm looking for a striper named Stacy with a tatto in the lower back, dad Issues and in sometway will fuck my life... But hey.... wherether rocks your boat.
  - bluntfang 7y ago
    Relaxing and Socialization != Sexualizing a public place and solely trying to pick up women. Women want to go to a bar to relax too. Do you think they can relax when men are constantly trying to buy them drinks and calling them "pretty girls"? Genuine connection != deep conversation. I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here, beyond being an advocate for harassment.
    - AdrianB1 7y ago
      I am not advocating harassment; I consider harassment if you offer someone a drink, she is refusing and you insist. Not the case. There are some unwritten rules in bars: if a woman is sitting at the bar alone, she may want a drink from some guys, not from anyone. If a woman is with some guy, she probably will not be interested and it is not a good idea to try. Showing some availability is inviting - not crying out loud "I want to be offered a drink by a tall dark stranger", but the meaning is the same. Not harassment. Females don't contact directly guys, they want to be asked and to be allowed to choose. Basic human psychology, no big deal.
izzydata 7y ago
I appreciate the sentiment of this, but I don't like how associated dating is with drinking alcohol. I don't drink and I would never go to a bar. If there were other types of social spaces not associated with drinking that would be great.
- realbarack 7y ago
  I totally agree. I do drink but would prefer to do it less and frequently end up using it as a bit of a social crutch. Coffee shops are fine during the day but I really wish there were more booze-free places to hang out at night.
- major505 7y ago
  Is a way of saying. You can change a bar for a coffe shop or something like that. What I'm saying get out your home and do things you apreciate. You will eventually make friands with people with the same interest. You care about art? Go to museuns. Like italian food? Go to a cantina once in a while, even alone you will eat great food, make friends with the owners and waiters, etc. Theres always something to do outside facebook.
throwaway3627 7y ago
Brave New World with such people in it.

peteey 7y ago

Offering strangers liquid drugs in hopes of "some action" was probably creepy back in the day too. Alcohol and hookup culture are not mutually exclusive to loneliness.

AdrianB1 7y ago
Offering a drink in a bar was never creepy when I was younger. Offering a home-made drink that nobody but you knows what's in it, that is creepy. Calling a gin tonic "liquid drugs" is grotesque in the context.
- major505 7y ago
  Yeah.... thas weird.... but I sure could go for a gin tonica... here in brasil people usually don't drink fancy stuff, like pink blueberry, or things like that. Usually beer, straith licor or things like vodka/cachaça with fruits. I just drink fancy girly stuff like Daiquiris when I in the mood to learn a new drink, and can drink in peace without other people to judge my frail masculinity.
major505 7y ago
You sure need some drugs to loose a little.

astura 7y ago

I met my husband less than a decade ago in a bar. I still talk to strangers in bars now too. Its not any more creepy to socialize with strangers in bars now than it was in the past, as long as you respect boundaries and aren't a creep about it. The vast majority of people still meet their partners through "traditional" means, very, very few meet through sites and apps. And when I say "very, very few" I'm talking less than 10%. https://www.mic.com/articles/112062/the-way-most-people-meet-their-significant-others-is-not-what-you-think https://www.mic.com/articles/112062/the-way-most-people-meet... https://www.bustle.com/p/the-most-popular-ways-people-are-meeting-their-significant-others-in-2018-8075828 https://www.bustle.com/p/the-most-popular-ways-people-are-me...

swiley 7y ago
I think he meant buying the drink is creepy. I go to bars on occasion and meet women my age and younger, but I've never bought them a drink because I feel the same way (although I don't think they expect it either.) Starting the conversation is hard and it can be very difficult to tell if they really want to talk before they do, I guess that's part of why you want a good bartender because they'll usually start conversations with everyone.
- major505 7y ago
  Welll you just dont walk straing in. You first exchange glances, see if shes alone, whatt shes drinking (soft drinks, hard licor, beer, some fancy cocktail) and judge something about her personality, if you think you have a chance, then you pay for a drink, or just straigth hit her with something, in my case somthing dumb like "Hey, how much a polar bear weigths? Enougth to break the ice!". What I think is creep is some stranger who straigup knows your name, your face, and can just as easy starting to virtual stalking your life and find out where you live. Fucking hating online dating solutions like tinder.... really not good talker on line, without seeing the person face to face.
- major505 7y ago
  Acctually what I meant is, young people usually think talking and interacting to strangers is creepy. Like. Ok you can be creep, and is easy to look creep when you talking to a beatfull woman an is an insecure nerd. Been there, done that.

bluntfang 7y ago

the creepy part is going to a public place and sexualizing it by explicitly seeking out "pretty girl"s and buying them drinks. Going out and seek genuine connections with people instead of buying "pretty girl"s drinks is not creepy.

AdrianB1 7y ago
You don't go in a bar for a deep conversation, you have the library and local groups of interests for that. A bar is just for relaxing and socialization, you can talk anything you want as long as you find someone to listen (or ignore) you.
- throwaway3627 7y ago
  Libraries, at least in the US, are mostly silence zones apart from information/checkout areas. There are still a few independent bookstores left, and those are good. College is still the preferred and most popular setting to meet a quality spouse. Online should be considered one of many tools as an adjunct to IRL, but not the primary source.
- major505 7y ago
  I guess... if you looking for more common people... personally I'm looking for a striper named Stacy with a tatto in the lower back, dad Issues and in sometway will fuck my life... But hey.... wherether rocks your boat.
- bluntfang 7y ago
  Relaxing and Socialization != Sexualizing a public place and solely trying to pick up women. Women want to go to a bar to relax too. Do you think they can relax when men are constantly trying to buy them drinks and calling them "pretty girls"? Genuine connection != deep conversation. I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here, beyond being an advocate for harassment.
  - AdrianB1 7y ago
    I am not advocating harassment; I consider harassment if you offer someone a drink, she is refusing and you insist. Not the case. There are some unwritten rules in bars: if a woman is sitting at the bar alone, she may want a drink from some guys, not from anyone. If a woman is with some guy, she probably will not be interested and it is not a good idea to try. Showing some availability is inviting - not crying out loud "I want to be offered a drink by a tall dark stranger", but the meaning is the same. Not harassment. Females don't contact directly guys, they want to be asked and to be allowed to choose. Basic human psychology, no big deal.

izzydata 7y ago

I appreciate the sentiment of this, but I don't like how associated dating is with drinking alcohol. I don't drink and I would never go to a bar. If there were other types of social spaces not associated with drinking that would be great.

realbarack 7y ago
I totally agree. I do drink but would prefer to do it less and frequently end up using it as a bit of a social crutch. Coffee shops are fine during the day but I really wish there were more booze-free places to hang out at night.
major505 7y ago
Is a way of saying. You can change a bar for a coffe shop or something like that. What I'm saying get out your home and do things you apreciate. You will eventually make friands with people with the same interest. You care about art? Go to museuns. Like italian food? Go to a cantina once in a while, even alone you will eat great food, make friends with the owners and waiters, etc. Theres always something to do outside facebook.

throwaway3627 7y ago

Brave New World with such people in it.