I've been working in the Bay Area for 8 years now, it's not the area, it's your specific workplace. It would happen anywhere in the world. I would assume your l

I've been working in the Bay Area for 8 years now, it's not the area, it's your specific workplace. It would happen anywhere in the world. I would assume your leads (EM/PM) are not doing their job correctly. There has to be someone helping moderate the discussion and making sure you're getting somewhere relevant. If it's a problem, raise it and propose a change in the meeting process. Ask for someone (or volunteer) that keeps track of the meeting agenda and makes people accountable. IMO adding process that helps structure conversation in places where it's not happening naturally helps tremendously. There's some friction initially, but if implemented correctly, benefits appear really early on.