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Sometimes it's unfortunately just a personality thing. There are people that are notorious for just needing to be the smartest person in the room, and if they a

Sometimes it's unfortunately just a personality thing. There are people that are notorious for just needing to be the smartest person in the room, and if they aren't checked, it's just going to be a sucky place to work. I've had limited good luck dealing with them by asking a lot of questions, Socrates-style. Really pinning them down. Particularly if I have an opposing solution that answers my own questions better. This helps highlight the difference between the people that have legitimately put in a lot of thought, and the bloviators. There's one person I've worked with that has me stumped though. They start talking, and then they trail off... not quite mid-sentence, enough so that you think they're done. And then I respond, but they immediately continue their thought, rapid-fire like they're pouncing. Person: "and the JWT token doesn't have that field, so..." (2-3 seconds elapse) Me: "Well, I think we can handl--" Person: "SO-I-DON'T-THINK-THAT-WE-CAN (etc etc)" It's so weird, they don't continue their thought until I start responding. Every time it plays out like I feel like I'm the one that was interrupting, even though I know I'm not.

fencepost 7y ago
"OK, thanks." then go back to whatever else you were doing. Your example at least makes it sound like this person is actually seeking a confrontation of some sort, so just remove that as an option. Alternately, "let me know when you decide how to handle it." Or maybe that person is using you for rubber duck debugging[0] and you're not fulfilling your part, in which case buy him a rubber duck. [0] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging
philwelch 7y ago
Speaking as someone who tends to go on and on and on sometimes, I will sometimes misjudge the difference between a “I’m done talking” pause and a “I’m thinking of how to phrase the next thought” pause and either just kind of stop abruptly when I run out of articulate thoughts or give the false impression that I was done talking when I wasn’t. Someone else cutting in before I was done with a thought is usually my hint that I’ve misjudged so I sometimes panic and try and continue my thought. I don’t think this is a reasonable style to deal with and for my part I’m trying to make my thoughts more concise before sharing them. Just don’t take it personally?
refurb 7y ago
Your scenario made me laugh as I work with someone exactly like that and it really gets on my nerves. She’ll actually finish a statement, pause for 5 or more seconds (by then someone else has started talking), then just continue on with another statement. And it’s not like she starts talking right when the other person starts, no, the other person is almost done their first sentence and she talks over them. I have to laugh at it or it will drive me bonkers.
hyperpallium 7y ago
It's possible they are marshalling their thoughts. They haven't yet got them ready when you start speaking, but they go with whatever they've got before they lose it. You could try an experiment one time, of waiting them out - like for 1 minute (an incredibly long silence, but a cheap experiment) - and discover what they do.

fencepost 7y ago

"OK, thanks." then go back to whatever else you were doing. Your example at least makes it sound like this person is actually seeking a confrontation of some sort, so just remove that as an option. Alternately, "let me know when you decide how to handle it." Or maybe that person is using you for rubber duck debugging[0] and you're not fulfilling your part, in which case buy him a rubber duck. [0] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging

philwelch 7y ago

Speaking as someone who tends to go on and on and on sometimes, I will sometimes misjudge the difference between a “I’m done talking” pause and a “I’m thinking of how to phrase the next thought” pause and either just kind of stop abruptly when I run out of articulate thoughts or give the false impression that I was done talking when I wasn’t. Someone else cutting in before I was done with a thought is usually my hint that I’ve misjudged so I sometimes panic and try and continue my thought. I don’t think this is a reasonable style to deal with and for my part I’m trying to make my thoughts more concise before sharing them. Just don’t take it personally?

refurb 7y ago

Your scenario made me laugh as I work with someone exactly like that and it really gets on my nerves. She’ll actually finish a statement, pause for 5 or more seconds (by then someone else has started talking), then just continue on with another statement. And it’s not like she starts talking right when the other person starts, no, the other person is almost done their first sentence and she talks over them. I have to laugh at it or it will drive me bonkers.

hyperpallium 7y ago

It's possible they are marshalling their thoughts. They haven't yet got them ready when you start speaking, but they go with whatever they've got before they lose it. You could try an experiment one time, of waiting them out - like for 1 minute (an incredibly long silence, but a cheap experiment) - and discover what they do.