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I do it too....and I hate it........ I'm trying to tackle it by writing it down and waiting for others to finish with some decent success.

by avgDev 7y ago

ethbro 7y ago
Try keeping a stopwatch in your head (think speed chess). Start it when you start talking, and periodically make it a habit to check ("How long has it been since someone else talked?"). If it's been too long, wrap up your thoughts and pause a while before launching into the next bit. It's usually obliviousness ("I didn't notice anyone else", in my personal experience), but it can feel very rude to others ("I didn't want to listen to anyone else"). All part of soft skills. We all get better together.
- the_arun 7y ago
  I do it too & I hate it. My worry is that if I don't say it immediately I'll forget my comment/argument. I've tried scribbling it down and raise them later. But not very consistent in this process.
  - ethbro 7y ago
    I tell myself it's always better my idea goes unheard than someone else not get to share theirs. If it's really important, I'll remember it.
    - the_arun 7y ago
      That is very nice way of articulating it
dyukqu 7y ago
I (rarely) do it too. What I realized is in most cases (if not all) it's all about spitting it out whatever is in my mind without any intention to listen to what others are trying to say and without thinking that I can learn so much from others. Writing it down won't get you too far, imho. Because you probably still will be in rush just to read what you noted down and eventually miss the chance to learn from others. It's all about listening first. There was a thread here on HN recently, titled "People with Greater Intellectual Humility Have Superior General Knowledge".[0] I think it's pretty relevant here in this topic. Intellectual humility goes a long way I'd say :-) [0]https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20124447 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20124447
- humanrebar 7y ago
  > What I realized is in most cases (if not all) it's all about spitting it out whatever is in my mind without any intention to listen to what others are trying to say and without thinking that I can learn so much from others. Sometimes technical thoughts can be literally founded on faulty assumptions and will teach you nothing unless providing another anecdote of a conceptual mistake is instructive. Listening in bikeshedding conversations is a wise maneuver, though. Save your forceful thoughts for actual problems.
fictorial 7y ago
I wear a rubber band on my wrist and lightly snap it when someone is telling me something and I feel compelled to interrupt. It brings me out of the moment just enough to wait. But, you have to remember that the rubber band exists :-)
- iovrthoughtthis 7y ago
  The is a cool strategy! I will definitely try and employ this.
- midgetjones 7y ago
  I hope you don't snap it too loudly, because I would probably find that noise as offputting as an interruption :)
  - mikestew 7y ago
    If I know parent is doing to keep from talking over the top of the quiet team member, I will be more than happy to put up with the snapping.
DenisM 7y ago
Instead of writing down your thoughts write down the names of people you cut off, then track them down and apologize. Apology speaks directly to your impulsive mind, a kind of self-inflicted peer pressure mechanism.

I do it too....and I hate it........ I'm trying to tackle it by writing it down and waiting for others to finish with some decent success.

by avgDev 7y ago

I do it too....and I hate it........ I'm trying to tackle it by writing it down and waiting for others to finish with some decent success.

ethbro 7y ago

Try keeping a stopwatch in your head (think speed chess). Start it when you start talking, and periodically make it a habit to check ("How long has it been since someone else talked?"). If it's been too long, wrap up your thoughts and pause a while before launching into the next bit. It's usually obliviousness ("I didn't notice anyone else", in my personal experience), but it can feel very rude to others ("I didn't want to listen to anyone else"). All part of soft skills. We all get better together.

the_arun 7y ago
I do it too & I hate it. My worry is that if I don't say it immediately I'll forget my comment/argument. I've tried scribbling it down and raise them later. But not very consistent in this process.
- ethbro 7y ago
  I tell myself it's always better my idea goes unheard than someone else not get to share theirs. If it's really important, I'll remember it.
  - the_arun 7y ago
    That is very nice way of articulating it

dyukqu 7y ago

I (rarely) do it too. What I realized is in most cases (if not all) it's all about spitting it out whatever is in my mind without any intention to listen to what others are trying to say and without thinking that I can learn so much from others. Writing it down won't get you too far, imho. Because you probably still will be in rush just to read what you noted down and eventually miss the chance to learn from others. It's all about listening first. There was a thread here on HN recently, titled "People with Greater Intellectual Humility Have Superior General Knowledge".[0] I think it's pretty relevant here in this topic. Intellectual humility goes a long way I'd say :-) [0]https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20124447 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20124447

humanrebar 7y ago
> What I realized is in most cases (if not all) it's all about spitting it out whatever is in my mind without any intention to listen to what others are trying to say and without thinking that I can learn so much from others. Sometimes technical thoughts can be literally founded on faulty assumptions and will teach you nothing unless providing another anecdote of a conceptual mistake is instructive. Listening in bikeshedding conversations is a wise maneuver, though. Save your forceful thoughts for actual problems.

fictorial 7y ago

I wear a rubber band on my wrist and lightly snap it when someone is telling me something and I feel compelled to interrupt. It brings me out of the moment just enough to wait. But, you have to remember that the rubber band exists :-)

iovrthoughtthis 7y ago
The is a cool strategy! I will definitely try and employ this.
midgetjones 7y ago
I hope you don't snap it too loudly, because I would probably find that noise as offputting as an interruption :)
- mikestew 7y ago
  If I know parent is doing to keep from talking over the top of the quiet team member, I will be more than happy to put up with the snapping.

DenisM 7y ago

Instead of writing down your thoughts write down the names of people you cut off, then track them down and apologize. Apology speaks directly to your impulsive mind, a kind of self-inflicted peer pressure mechanism.