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One way might be to split envy in to: Covetousness Resentment Sadness (Maybe ambition?) Covetousness is really, really, bad. It will eat your soul. It is the

One way might be to split envy in to: Covetousness Resentment Sadness (Maybe ambition?) Covetousness is really, really, bad. It will eat your soul. It is the desire to take what someone else has for yourself. “I want his car.” “I want his girlfriend.” Resentment can be useful for a short term, but will eat you and cause bitterness if it festers. “I am not paid what I’m worth, I can get better elsewhere.” Is a useful statement if it is accurate and you act on it. But if you are lying to yourself or if you don’t act, it turns bad. Sadness is a normal human emotion when things just aren’t how you hoped they were. Ambition is the (mostly healthy within limits) impetus to achieve more. “I want a boyfriend who is nice the way his is.” “I want an even cooler car than anyone I know.” As long as you remain healthy and within your ethical system, ambition is good. I think maybe taking a frustrating emotion like envy and reframing it with component parts can help you approach it differently? Just an idea.

JackFr 7y ago
I think that’s a really useful breakdown. And I think it lets one attack the problem in a way that’s productive and healthy. If you’re able to be honest with yourself and admit that you are having very human feelings, by feelings that are counter-productive and self-indulgent you’re more likely to be able put on the brakes. I know that I’m intellectually vain. It’s a personal foible and it can be very unattractive, but I’m always concerned that everyone know how smart I am. But I think being able to admit it, and acknowledging it is a fault, is the first step towards controlling it.
cneurotic 7y ago
Very good point! Envy has layers! Hard to keep that in mind in the throes of it — but certainly a smart approach.
seventhtiger 7y ago
In the Arabic language there are two words for envy: Ghira - What is known as jealousy or envy. Someone has something you want and you hate them for it. You wish you had it even if you took it from them. Ghibta - Wishing you had what they had without taking it away. You're happy for their success and wish you had a similar one. When I was taught the two different words as a young person it really affected how I feel in these situations. When I get a reaction to someone having what I want, I make sure it stays within ghibta. It's a case where my vocabulary shaped my thinking process.

JackFr 7y ago

I think that’s a really useful breakdown. And I think it lets one attack the problem in a way that’s productive and healthy. If you’re able to be honest with yourself and admit that you are having very human feelings, by feelings that are counter-productive and self-indulgent you’re more likely to be able put on the brakes. I know that I’m intellectually vain. It’s a personal foible and it can be very unattractive, but I’m always concerned that everyone know how smart I am. But I think being able to admit it, and acknowledging it is a fault, is the first step towards controlling it.

cneurotic 7y ago

Very good point! Envy has layers! Hard to keep that in mind in the throes of it — but certainly a smart approach.

seventhtiger 7y ago

In the Arabic language there are two words for envy: Ghira - What is known as jealousy or envy. Someone has something you want and you hate them for it. You wish you had it even if you took it from them. Ghibta - Wishing you had what they had without taking it away. You're happy for their success and wish you had a similar one. When I was taught the two different words as a young person it really affected how I feel in these situations. When I get a reaction to someone having what I want, I make sure it stays within ghibta. It's a case where my vocabulary shaped my thinking process.