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> 0) Remember that social media and the press shows the best parts of people's lives and rarely the crappy parts that everyone has. When I take a picture on ca

> 0) Remember that social media and the press shows the best parts of people's lives and rarely the crappy parts that everyone has. When I take a picture on camera, I sometimes realize that a person looking at the picture will probably imagine something much better than reality. For example, an entire day spent with my kids who try to be as annoying as possible; then for five minutes they act cute, and I make a nice photo. A person looking at the photo will probably imagine that the whole day was fun. Or we take a trip somewhere, take a nice photo in front of a local historical building, then the kids get really annoying and we have to cancel the trip and go home. Again, a person looking at the photo will probably be impressed by what kind of trips we can make with the kids. So when I look at someone else's photo, I can do the reverse reasoning. The smiling guy on the photo? Maybe the whole day was actually quite bad, and he only had 5 minutes of fun. A photo taken on a ship? Seems nice, but maybe the trip was slow and boring, and the weather mostly bad. An attractive girl next to him? Maybe he spent five minutes talking with her, and the rest of the day traveling or siting at various meetings. Or maybe not; the point is that the nicest possible scenario is only one of the possibilities.

gen220 7y ago
Have you read Knausgaard, by chance? Something about your writing evoked him for me in a good way. It's sort of off-topic, but reading his books in my early 20s was a huge revelation for me; something like "Oh, it actually doesn't get much 'easier' when you grow up. You still deal with things as they arise, and continue to sort of meander your way between the present moment and nostalgia, between joy and pain." In a way, it was rather calming to know that "Adults" with "Kids" are just Us with 5-10 more years of good and bad decisions. Relaxing to know that we wouldn't suddenly be expected to miraculously do everything correctly. :) It had made me more aware of the fakeness you describe, but it also compels me to marvel at those older people I meet who have consistently invested in their life’s garden: pruning and fertilizing, sowing and reaping, apparently against our natural inclinations to let it all grow wild.
chrshawkes 7y ago
"When I take a picture on camera, I sometimes realize that a person looking at the picture will probably imagine something much better than reality." I'm a parent and I think you raise a good point but I think most parents see right through that. :) Most photos and even YouTube videos are completely fake and doctored. The filters amplify this even more. Although my pics with my children were not filled with happiness the entire time, they are the happiest and proudest moments of my life (some of them, not all). I've played the entrepreneurial game for a long time. I found success and won awards along the way. The time spent with my children is more important than all of that. It's a fine balance though. Nobody wants to be a loser, so we're forced to work harder than the next guy/girl.

gen220 7y ago

Have you read Knausgaard, by chance? Something about your writing evoked him for me in a good way. It's sort of off-topic, but reading his books in my early 20s was a huge revelation for me; something like "Oh, it actually doesn't get much 'easier' when you grow up. You still deal with things as they arise, and continue to sort of meander your way between the present moment and nostalgia, between joy and pain." In a way, it was rather calming to know that "Adults" with "Kids" are just Us with 5-10 more years of good and bad decisions. Relaxing to know that we wouldn't suddenly be expected to miraculously do everything correctly. :) It had made me more aware of the fakeness you describe, but it also compels me to marvel at those older people I meet who have consistently invested in their life’s garden: pruning and fertilizing, sowing and reaping, apparently against our natural inclinations to let it all grow wild.

chrshawkes 7y ago

"When I take a picture on camera, I sometimes realize that a person looking at the picture will probably imagine something much better than reality." I'm a parent and I think you raise a good point but I think most parents see right through that. :) Most photos and even YouTube videos are completely fake and doctored. The filters amplify this even more. Although my pics with my children were not filled with happiness the entire time, they are the happiest and proudest moments of my life (some of them, not all). I've played the entrepreneurial game for a long time. I found success and won awards along the way. The time spent with my children is more important than all of that. It's a fine balance though. Nobody wants to be a loser, so we're forced to work harder than the next guy/girl.