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Autism. So text based communication isn't impaired. Also led me to spend a lot of time on the computer so I naturally got better at using them. I send a lot

Autism. So text based communication isn't impaired. Also led me to spend a lot of time on the computer so I naturally got better at using them. I send a lot of emails at work and my co-workers will usually try and deal with walkups. Writing is a strong point for me. There's little problems with communication like having the emotional intelligence to tell when your co-workers are having a hard time and when to back off and treat them differently. I lack that which puts extra stress on them. I tend to say too much and make my team lose face and cause us political problems. So I try to compensate by doing such a good job my co-workers won't be under as much pressure to work hard and my team will be doing such a good job we won't get in shit.

yarg 7y ago
Just know your limitations. I worked with a guy, somewhere on the spectrum. He was very good at some things, but understanding other people's perspectives wasn't one of them. He was excellent from a broad architectural perspective, but failed to acknowledge his limitations in regard to API development and user facing content. There will always be a difficulty in understanding why it is that certain concepts are beyond our grasp, but it might not stop us from understanding that they are.
- turk73 7y ago
  I'm so confused. At times I thought I was a 10X or maybe just a 5X. Being a humble person, I don't self-promote. My current team seems to have few problems dealing with me and we have had a lot of success this year. It's also a really big company, and I think I do best at these big places where things are generally impersonal and the sheer number of employees averages out the rough edges in peoples' skill sets. My last team, however, was a different story. It was a small shop of only 7 developers and everyone knew everyone else's business and I swear they spent a lot of their time gas lighting me into believing I was somehow "not right" which I found amusing at times and heartbreaking at other times. The one female on the team was an absolute man-hater and the architect, an alcoholic. So clearly other issues going on. I just can't figure why any of it was taken out on me, I didn't do anything to them that I know of. I don't want to say they are assholes, but maybe just "people with major issues?" That would be more kind. Anyhow, yes, I may be austistic or something along those lines although I was never diagnosed as such. The only thing psychologists told my parents was "gifted" and sort of left at that. I've had a troubled career and looking back it was never to do with technical abilities, which I have in spades, but always with the interpersonal skills, empathy, etc. But I've been married for 16 years and I have two kids, so clearly I'm not some hopeless case.
jonplackett 7y ago
Thanks for sharing this. It's fascinating to read the article and then have such a blatant counter-view/argument/description in the comments. I've really started to like HN mostly for the comments these days.
glloydell 7y ago
Some totally unsolicited advice, but have you considered writing a user manual for yourself and making it available to your management and team members? This a concept a friend/colleague of mine turned me onto and it's been a huge help for everyone involved. It's basically just a couple of pages with brief descriptions of her communication and work styles, philosophy and approach to conflict and and communication, a list of some modes of interaction which are the most effective/productive when engaging her, and some of her blind spots which may not be apparent. Aside from equipping coworkers with tools to interact and work with you better, it also gives them permission to engage with you in ways that, while highly effective for you, may be considered rude or socially awkward with other people. A personal example: I've got an almost non-existent sense of smell, which means that if it's been a particularly hot day or I've been exerting myself I can occasionally get a little ripe smelling without being able to sense it. I am incredibly grateful when someone lets me know if that's the case, but I have to give them that context and permission before they're willing to say "dude yer getting smelly". Generally people wouldn't make that kind of statement for fear of being rude, but once they know that I react well to (and actively solicit) that kind of non-standard interaction it makes everyones lives easier (and significantly less stanky)

yarg 7y ago

Just know your limitations. I worked with a guy, somewhere on the spectrum. He was very good at some things, but understanding other people's perspectives wasn't one of them. He was excellent from a broad architectural perspective, but failed to acknowledge his limitations in regard to API development and user facing content. There will always be a difficulty in understanding why it is that certain concepts are beyond our grasp, but it might not stop us from understanding that they are.

turk73 7y ago
I'm so confused. At times I thought I was a 10X or maybe just a 5X. Being a humble person, I don't self-promote. My current team seems to have few problems dealing with me and we have had a lot of success this year. It's also a really big company, and I think I do best at these big places where things are generally impersonal and the sheer number of employees averages out the rough edges in peoples' skill sets. My last team, however, was a different story. It was a small shop of only 7 developers and everyone knew everyone else's business and I swear they spent a lot of their time gas lighting me into believing I was somehow "not right" which I found amusing at times and heartbreaking at other times. The one female on the team was an absolute man-hater and the architect, an alcoholic. So clearly other issues going on. I just can't figure why any of it was taken out on me, I didn't do anything to them that I know of. I don't want to say they are assholes, but maybe just "people with major issues?" That would be more kind. Anyhow, yes, I may be austistic or something along those lines although I was never diagnosed as such. The only thing psychologists told my parents was "gifted" and sort of left at that. I've had a troubled career and looking back it was never to do with technical abilities, which I have in spades, but always with the interpersonal skills, empathy, etc. But I've been married for 16 years and I have two kids, so clearly I'm not some hopeless case.

jonplackett 7y ago

Thanks for sharing this. It's fascinating to read the article and then have such a blatant counter-view/argument/description in the comments. I've really started to like HN mostly for the comments these days.

glloydell 7y ago

Some totally unsolicited advice, but have you considered writing a user manual for yourself and making it available to your management and team members? This a concept a friend/colleague of mine turned me onto and it's been a huge help for everyone involved. It's basically just a couple of pages with brief descriptions of her communication and work styles, philosophy and approach to conflict and and communication, a list of some modes of interaction which are the most effective/productive when engaging her, and some of her blind spots which may not be apparent. Aside from equipping coworkers with tools to interact and work with you better, it also gives them permission to engage with you in ways that, while highly effective for you, may be considered rude or socially awkward with other people. A personal example: I've got an almost non-existent sense of smell, which means that if it's been a particularly hot day or I've been exerting myself I can occasionally get a little ripe smelling without being able to sense it. I am incredibly grateful when someone lets me know if that's the case, but I have to give them that context and permission before they're willing to say "dude yer getting smelly". Generally people wouldn't make that kind of statement for fear of being rude, but once they know that I react well to (and actively solicit) that kind of non-standard interaction it makes everyones lives easier (and significantly less stanky)