4 ms·
For those readers who don't have kids ... It's very important to not say three things to kids: - "You're my favorite" - this is incredibly corrosive to relati
by redis_mlc 7y ago
For those readers who don't have kids ...
It's very important to not say three things to kids:
- "You're my favorite" - this is incredibly corrosive to relationships between siblings, and lasts forever.
- "You're so smart"- when you say this, you're telling the child that they have an intrinsic gift that replaces having to work hard. Just say, "Good job." or "How can you improve it next time?"
- "You's so pretty." - when you say this, you're telling the child that they have an intrinsic gift, and are above working hard on relationships or a career.
- detaro 7y agoAcknowledging someone has an intrinsic gift is not the same as telling them it's a replacement for work. (By all means, make sure they know it's not!) It's also fairly silly to assume if you don't tell your kid it won't notice it has these gifts, rather it will notice that you never acknowledge this.
- em-bee 7y agobut they don't have an intrinsic gift. every child is capable of being smart, and every child is beautiful. using these labels has to be done with care foe the desired effect. if a child thinks they are dumb, then calling them smart, and showing them hat makes them smart may be helpful to raise their self-esteem. but otherwise it may backfire. same goes for beauty. it can have a positive effect, but it can also make the child care more about outward appearances.