3 ms·

Sounds kind of familiar. I always read such write-ups with great respect and some sort of fear as I know how easily and quickly it can become 'wrong', so as to

by nakkiel 16y ago

Sounds kind of familiar. I always read such write-ups with great respect and some sort of fear as I know how easily and quickly it can become 'wrong', so as to speak. Could you please be more specific with this though: The next step was to learn how to bring myself back to normal when I started getting low, and I became quite good at it. I've been tying to do that myself with no success so far. Also, I seem to have become different through years as the maniac phases are very short now and the low phases are very long — but I've learnt not to take any decision during those phases so I suppose I'm already on the safe side. Thanks for sharing.

daeken 16y ago
When I start to fall into a period of depression, I withdraw from the world; I don't go out, I don't talk to people, I feel miserable doing anything. How do I counter it? By forcing myself to talk to people, by working on something (it doesn't matter what -- if you don't write 1 line of code, you won't write 10), by going and doing something fun with a friend (e.g. watching a movie). It's hard, it sucks, but it typically works decently.
- thewordpainter 16y ago
  i think you bring up a great point. it's all about forcing yourself to get up & do something...anything. when I had my really bad bout with depression, i just kept reading until i worked my way out of the funk. Give yourself a thirst for knowledge. Read. Read. Read!
dkarl 16y ago
What daeken said. Improving my mood translates almost exactly into simply acting like I would if I wasn't depressed. I don't try to pretend to be happy or fake it (though I do use cognitive therapy techniques.) Instead, I just try to do the same activities I would do if I wasn't depressed. I call someone on the phone and ask them how they're doing instead of sitting and thinking about myself. I make a healthy dinner instead of ordering pizza. I get some exercise instead of lying on the couch. If I work, I release myself from self-criticism (I'm so slow, I'm hopelessly stupid, I'm accomplishing nothing) and concentrate on the work instead. If I watch a movie, I allow myself to enjoy it instead of thinking the whole time about how much I suck and how I should be doing something productive instead. It's hard to do those things, of course. The essence of depression is hopelessness. For me, it's hopelessness about myself, a deep conviction of my own worthlessness and the impossibility of ever not being ashamed of myself. When you think that way, it's hard to see the point of making dinner or going for a run. Long term, the biggest factor for me was to slowly learn to disregard the reality of depression. By now I have a long enough perspective on my life and my depression that I am better at seeing it as a temporary illusion. I knew a girl who had persistent auditory hallucinations; she heard voices constantly, angels and demons mostly. She knew they weren't real. At least she said she knew, and she usually did, but when she didn't, it was a problem. Coping with depression is a bit like that -- a constant effort to disregard what your brain thinks it knows. So when I go out the door for a run, or start cooking dinner, a big and very persuasive part of my brain is convinced it's stupid and pointless, even while it's making me feel better. By the time I'm done running or cooking, I'm completely aware -- with my whole brain -- that it was worthwhile, and the fact that I've accomplished something worthwhile in itself discredits the illusion. That doesn't completely dispel the depression, not for long. Soon enough, the next activity I want to make myself do still feels stupid and pointless. But it makes it easier to cope, and it reduces the severity of the symptoms. The older I get, the more consistently I manage to make myself do the things that make me feel better. When I was younger, depression was overwhelming and terrifying. Now it's mostly just miserable instead of scary. Especially now that I know I can hold down a job through a bout of depression, and my friends won't desert me, it's a lot less frightening.
- joshklein 16y ago
  This describes my experience well, but I think it is worth pointing out that what I (and I can only describe myself here because I don't want to assume you are the same) have could be described as mild depression. What the OP describes would be, I assume, described clinically as severe depression. I have been able to "self medicate" like you with exercise, diet, rigorous organizing and planning tools, and other ways of "ignoring" what my brain tells me to do. When I was younger, I was briefly on medication and did not like the side effects, and I have been lucky enough to be able to cope with the tools I have at my disposal. I do not believe this is possible for people with severe depression, and highly encourage them to seek professional help.
ebrenes 16y ago
Having been through similar bouts of depression in my teens and early twenties I also adopted some of daekan's techniques. Personally, another thing that has helped me greatly is to preempt situations that have caused me to become depressed in the past. Because at least for me, it's incredibly hard to get past the hopelessness and despair without hitting rock bottom, and there's a lot of damage done before that happens. For me it's more economical to spend extra effort avoiding the depressive moments altogether than digging myself out of them. So nowadays I just avoid things that trigger or resonate with those depressive emotions. So, I'll eschew watching movies that people describe as sad or depressing, no matter how good they might be. I don't fill my reading list with tragedies or existential dramas. I'm more picky in the type of music I listen to and purposely reduce the frequency with which I listen to melancholic songs. I noticed talking about my negative emotions empowered them and gave them more substance. So now I only allow myself a limited number of instances to talk about my problems. Going to a therapist helped with this as it isolated those moments to a specific place, time and person. Thus reducing the desire to wallow in those negative thoughts with friends and acquaintances. I've also removed people in my life who were extremely focused on their problems and misfortunes and replaced them with more active and happier people. Basically I've made an effort to befriend people that compliment my weaknesses (staying active and upbeat) instead of reinforcing them. Being involved in periodic activities with others has also helped greatly. Like meeting with my old DnD group, despite being idle entertainment, was incredibly useful in getting me out of the house during weekends when I would be most tempted to stay in and be left alone with my thoughts. The final thing was recognizing what situations, places and events are depressive triggers and avoid them like the plague. For example, I can't travel alone for extended periods: being isolated in a foreign country is an instant depressant. So now I always try to travel with friends or companions and that ends up being more enjoyable to boot. Anyways, thanks to all who shared their experiences.

by nakkiel 16y ago

daeken 16y ago

When I start to fall into a period of depression, I withdraw from the world; I don't go out, I don't talk to people, I feel miserable doing anything. How do I counter it? By forcing myself to talk to people, by working on something (it doesn't matter what -- if you don't write 1 line of code, you won't write 10), by going and doing something fun with a friend (e.g. watching a movie). It's hard, it sucks, but it typically works decently.

thewordpainter 16y ago
i think you bring up a great point. it's all about forcing yourself to get up & do something...anything. when I had my really bad bout with depression, i just kept reading until i worked my way out of the funk. Give yourself a thirst for knowledge. Read. Read. Read!

dkarl 16y ago

What daeken said. Improving my mood translates almost exactly into simply acting like I would if I wasn't depressed. I don't try to pretend to be happy or fake it (though I do use cognitive therapy techniques.) Instead, I just try to do the same activities I would do if I wasn't depressed. I call someone on the phone and ask them how they're doing instead of sitting and thinking about myself. I make a healthy dinner instead of ordering pizza. I get some exercise instead of lying on the couch. If I work, I release myself from self-criticism (I'm so slow, I'm hopelessly stupid, I'm accomplishing nothing) and concentrate on the work instead. If I watch a movie, I allow myself to enjoy it instead of thinking the whole time about how much I suck and how I should be doing something productive instead. It's hard to do those things, of course. The essence of depression is hopelessness. For me, it's hopelessness about myself, a deep conviction of my own worthlessness and the impossibility of ever not being ashamed of myself. When you think that way, it's hard to see the point of making dinner or going for a run. Long term, the biggest factor for me was to slowly learn to disregard the reality of depression. By now I have a long enough perspective on my life and my depression that I am better at seeing it as a temporary illusion. I knew a girl who had persistent auditory hallucinations; she heard voices constantly, angels and demons mostly. She knew they weren't real. At least she said she knew, and she usually did, but when she didn't, it was a problem. Coping with depression is a bit like that -- a constant effort to disregard what your brain thinks it knows. So when I go out the door for a run, or start cooking dinner, a big and very persuasive part of my brain is convinced it's stupid and pointless, even while it's making me feel better. By the time I'm done running or cooking, I'm completely aware -- with my whole brain -- that it was worthwhile, and the fact that I've accomplished something worthwhile in itself discredits the illusion. That doesn't completely dispel the depression, not for long. Soon enough, the next activity I want to make myself do still feels stupid and pointless. But it makes it easier to cope, and it reduces the severity of the symptoms. The older I get, the more consistently I manage to make myself do the things that make me feel better. When I was younger, depression was overwhelming and terrifying. Now it's mostly just miserable instead of scary. Especially now that I know I can hold down a job through a bout of depression, and my friends won't desert me, it's a lot less frightening.

joshklein 16y ago
This describes my experience well, but I think it is worth pointing out that what I (and I can only describe myself here because I don't want to assume you are the same) have could be described as mild depression. What the OP describes would be, I assume, described clinically as severe depression. I have been able to "self medicate" like you with exercise, diet, rigorous organizing and planning tools, and other ways of "ignoring" what my brain tells me to do. When I was younger, I was briefly on medication and did not like the side effects, and I have been lucky enough to be able to cope with the tools I have at my disposal. I do not believe this is possible for people with severe depression, and highly encourage them to seek professional help.

ebrenes 16y ago

Having been through similar bouts of depression in my teens and early twenties I also adopted some of daekan's techniques. Personally, another thing that has helped me greatly is to preempt situations that have caused me to become depressed in the past. Because at least for me, it's incredibly hard to get past the hopelessness and despair without hitting rock bottom, and there's a lot of damage done before that happens. For me it's more economical to spend extra effort avoiding the depressive moments altogether than digging myself out of them. So nowadays I just avoid things that trigger or resonate with those depressive emotions. So, I'll eschew watching movies that people describe as sad or depressing, no matter how good they might be. I don't fill my reading list with tragedies or existential dramas. I'm more picky in the type of music I listen to and purposely reduce the frequency with which I listen to melancholic songs. I noticed talking about my negative emotions empowered them and gave them more substance. So now I only allow myself a limited number of instances to talk about my problems. Going to a therapist helped with this as it isolated those moments to a specific place, time and person. Thus reducing the desire to wallow in those negative thoughts with friends and acquaintances. I've also removed people in my life who were extremely focused on their problems and misfortunes and replaced them with more active and happier people. Basically I've made an effort to befriend people that compliment my weaknesses (staying active and upbeat) instead of reinforcing them. Being involved in periodic activities with others has also helped greatly. Like meeting with my old DnD group, despite being idle entertainment, was incredibly useful in getting me out of the house during weekends when I would be most tempted to stay in and be left alone with my thoughts. The final thing was recognizing what situations, places and events are depressive triggers and avoid them like the plague. For example, I can't travel alone for extended periods: being isolated in a foreign country is an instant depressant. So now I always try to travel with friends or companions and that ends up being more enjoyable to boot. Anyways, thanks to all who shared their experiences.