5 ms·

Guys, you need to move the frick out of the suburbs. They're soul-killing. Cities are also atomized, but not to this extent. They're vibrant, booming, the scho

by MiroF 7y ago

Guys, you need to move the frick out of the suburbs. They're soul-killing. Cities are also atomized, but not to this extent. They're vibrant, booming, the schools are fine/good, and in my opinion, far worth the cut to house size.

taborj 7y ago
Suburbs can be soul-killing for some people. Personally, I find cities to be excessively busy and annoying, full of folks I generally don't want to be around socially. But I'm an introvert, who enjoys being away from the crowds. I personally find suburbs to be a bit too crowded, if I'm honest. I don't need a big house - I just need big personal space; I prefer my small 1000sq ft house, but I wish it was in the middle of a few acres.
nkingsy 7y ago
In the suburbs I have many neighbors in similar life situations to me. With minimal effort I can make friends with people a block away with kids the same ages as mine. Just go to a park and start a conversation I’m finding modern life requires tribal flexibility
twoheadedboy 7y ago
Completely disagree. I don't think humans are meant to live in cities. Something about being around that many people and ongoings makes me and from what I can tell a lot of other people, on edge so to speak. I grew up in a suburb and it was not at all isolating. We had close communities and nearby family. I was friends with kids on my block and had freedom to explore and be independent. I would say technology is what is driving people to isolation.
- brlewis 7y ago
  Does your first paragraph apply to smaller cities like Boston?
  - war1025 7y ago
    As someone from the Midwest, I'm very amused by your categorization of Boston as a "smaller city". Edit: For reference, this [1] was the "big city" to me growing up. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason_City,_Iowa https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason_City,_Iowa
    - brlewis 7y ago
      Did people in Mason City seem to be on edge from being around too many other people?
      - war1025 7y ago
        No I don't suppose so.
rayiner 7y ago
I love cities, structurally. But I find the people soul-killing. I just have very little in common with young, childless people anymore. Even when we're experiencing the same things, we're not really experiencing the same things. If I go to MOMA, it's because I want to show my daughter Starry Night. I'm scoping out tickets to take her to Hamilton, because I feel guilty for going without her. My kids are super well-behaved, but I hate going into a restaurant with them in tow and watching young childless people glare at me. I know brave souls who are toughing it out in cities with young children, and more power to them. Meanwhile, there are 8 small kids and two teenagers on my block of 15-20 houses. I walk into the Whole Foods, and see other parents from my kid's school. The default is people like me.
- hestipod 7y ago
  >The default is people like me. I think not finding things in common with young people isn't abnormal. My childhood was miserable partly BECAUSE of the sameness of it all. I find the suburban vanilla Stepford ways soul-killing. I had no exposure to culture. The internet didn't exist yet. I was ignorant and brainwashed in many ways. I felt out of place and like I was a freak because I didn't believe what I was told was "correct". The city was "bad" and "city folk" were "bad". The family and people in those places still have the same narrow beliefs and I am still "wrong". The people I know that grew up in multicultural cities had so much richer experiences and opportunities to grow and explore their beliefs and ideas without their parents ideologies infecting them as much.
  - rayiner 7y ago
    Having rich experiences and exploring different ideas is admirable, in some respects, but I'm not convinced that's a good basis for sustainable, tight-knit communities. Your choice of phraseology is interesting--parents "infecting" kids with their ideologies. Most people would consider it a key function of parenting (and society) to socialize children in the community's values, rules, and orthodoxies. One of the things I find ironic about "experience seeking" is how often people go to places like India or China to have "rich experiences." But people from those places generally would relate much more easily to people like your parents. Circling back to the topic at hand--people in my home country of Bangladesh, where there is a rigid social order and strict indoctrination of children, may suffer from many things, but loneliness is not one of them.
jriot 7y ago
Cities are the wrong direction, people need to move out to the country, spread out. Be out in nature, hunt, fish, gather; not just for a hike. Cities are soul-crushing.
- dreit1 7y ago
  Agree, lived in Tokyo, San Francisco, Kentucky and visited many cities. Small towns with “nothing to do” are the places for real camaraderie

by MiroF 7y ago

taborj 7y ago

Suburbs can be soul-killing for some people. Personally, I find cities to be excessively busy and annoying, full of folks I generally don't want to be around socially. But I'm an introvert, who enjoys being away from the crowds. I personally find suburbs to be a bit too crowded, if I'm honest. I don't need a big house - I just need big personal space; I prefer my small 1000sq ft house, but I wish it was in the middle of a few acres.

nkingsy 7y ago

In the suburbs I have many neighbors in similar life situations to me. With minimal effort I can make friends with people a block away with kids the same ages as mine. Just go to a park and start a conversation I’m finding modern life requires tribal flexibility

twoheadedboy 7y ago

Completely disagree. I don't think humans are meant to live in cities. Something about being around that many people and ongoings makes me and from what I can tell a lot of other people, on edge so to speak. I grew up in a suburb and it was not at all isolating. We had close communities and nearby family. I was friends with kids on my block and had freedom to explore and be independent. I would say technology is what is driving people to isolation.

brlewis 7y ago
Does your first paragraph apply to smaller cities like Boston?
- war1025 7y ago
  As someone from the Midwest, I'm very amused by your categorization of Boston as a "smaller city". Edit: For reference, this [1] was the "big city" to me growing up. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason_City,_Iowa https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason_City,_Iowa
  - brlewis 7y ago
    Did people in Mason City seem to be on edge from being around too many other people?
    - war1025 7y ago
      No I don't suppose so.

rayiner 7y ago

I love cities, structurally. But I find the people soul-killing. I just have very little in common with young, childless people anymore. Even when we're experiencing the same things, we're not really experiencing the same things. If I go to MOMA, it's because I want to show my daughter Starry Night. I'm scoping out tickets to take her to Hamilton, because I feel guilty for going without her. My kids are super well-behaved, but I hate going into a restaurant with them in tow and watching young childless people glare at me. I know brave souls who are toughing it out in cities with young children, and more power to them. Meanwhile, there are 8 small kids and two teenagers on my block of 15-20 houses. I walk into the Whole Foods, and see other parents from my kid's school. The default is people like me.

hestipod 7y ago
>The default is people like me. I think not finding things in common with young people isn't abnormal. My childhood was miserable partly BECAUSE of the sameness of it all. I find the suburban vanilla Stepford ways soul-killing. I had no exposure to culture. The internet didn't exist yet. I was ignorant and brainwashed in many ways. I felt out of place and like I was a freak because I didn't believe what I was told was "correct". The city was "bad" and "city folk" were "bad". The family and people in those places still have the same narrow beliefs and I am still "wrong". The people I know that grew up in multicultural cities had so much richer experiences and opportunities to grow and explore their beliefs and ideas without their parents ideologies infecting them as much.
- rayiner 7y ago
  Having rich experiences and exploring different ideas is admirable, in some respects, but I'm not convinced that's a good basis for sustainable, tight-knit communities. Your choice of phraseology is interesting--parents "infecting" kids with their ideologies. Most people would consider it a key function of parenting (and society) to socialize children in the community's values, rules, and orthodoxies. One of the things I find ironic about "experience seeking" is how often people go to places like India or China to have "rich experiences." But people from those places generally would relate much more easily to people like your parents. Circling back to the topic at hand--people in my home country of Bangladesh, where there is a rigid social order and strict indoctrination of children, may suffer from many things, but loneliness is not one of them.

jriot 7y ago

Cities are the wrong direction, people need to move out to the country, spread out. Be out in nature, hunt, fish, gather; not just for a hike. Cities are soul-crushing.

dreit1 7y ago
Agree, lived in Tokyo, San Francisco, Kentucky and visited many cities. Small towns with “nothing to do” are the places for real camaraderie