4 ms·

There might not even be anything you can do if its systemic! Honestly as I get older (im 32) i find how fucking lucky i was to have been brought up in a really

by ixtli 7y ago

There might not even be anything you can do if its systemic! Honestly as I get older (im 32) i find how fucking lucky i was to have been brought up in a really really strong family (half is italian, half is european jewish.) Its amazing the degree to which this has helped me be a normal person with good coping mechanisms.

AstralStorm 7y ago
Similar. I got to meet most of extended family at least once, some relatively often. We're spread out but in clusters. This helps if anyone wants to move and it helps keep in touch. (Some went to another country, we haven't heard much of them - distance can still be a barrier and culture in Western Europe is different.)
hestipod 7y ago
I've always been envious of such families. Only one person in my family was really a quality person, and he passed long ago. I moved abroad for a time to a country where families are closer and while it was exhausting and intense in it's own way after my childhood, it was amazingly "safe" feeling. The relationship that brought me into that fold is gone, and while I don't miss my partner, I miss those people in their family greatly.
- toomuchtodo 7y ago
  You might consider reaching out to that family and exploring if you can be friends without the relationship that brought them into your orbit. No downside to asking.
  - hestipod 7y ago
    I live in a different country now and it's difficult to maintain long distance relationships in the best circumstances. When I lived there and saw them on the street (I lived nearby) it was always nice and they are wonderful people, but there was no way to have a relationship beyond that as my ex, the replacement relationship, and child that followed, were their family then, not me. It's always in the back of my mind as I adored the family and they treated me like one of them. It's just how it goes.
    - toomuchtodo 7y ago
      I'm sorry to hear that.

by ixtli 7y ago

AstralStorm 7y ago

Similar. I got to meet most of extended family at least once, some relatively often. We're spread out but in clusters. This helps if anyone wants to move and it helps keep in touch. (Some went to another country, we haven't heard much of them - distance can still be a barrier and culture in Western Europe is different.)

hestipod 7y ago

I've always been envious of such families. Only one person in my family was really a quality person, and he passed long ago. I moved abroad for a time to a country where families are closer and while it was exhausting and intense in it's own way after my childhood, it was amazingly "safe" feeling. The relationship that brought me into that fold is gone, and while I don't miss my partner, I miss those people in their family greatly.

toomuchtodo 7y ago
You might consider reaching out to that family and exploring if you can be friends without the relationship that brought them into your orbit. No downside to asking.
- hestipod 7y ago
  I live in a different country now and it's difficult to maintain long distance relationships in the best circumstances. When I lived there and saw them on the street (I lived nearby) it was always nice and they are wonderful people, but there was no way to have a relationship beyond that as my ex, the replacement relationship, and child that followed, were their family then, not me. It's always in the back of my mind as I adored the family and they treated me like one of them. It's just how it goes.
  - toomuchtodo 7y ago
    I'm sorry to hear that.