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Reminds me of a career limiting move I made at my first job. I was a rising star and got head hunted to be the first member on a new team for a critical project

Reminds me of a career limiting move I made at my first job. I was a rising star and got head hunted to be the first member on a new team for a critical project. I took the opportunity because it had a higher potential for career growth, but I ended up leaving the company. I considered my manager an egotistical jerk; he even called our 1:1s lessons. He told me that any part of my personality that didn’t line up with what the company would score on a Meyers Briggs was a problem. A senior engineer decided he was my mentor but constantly put me down. My team dangled the promise of a promotion if I could the job at my level and fulfill the job description of an open headcount two levels above me. I worked overnight every Tuesday sleeping only 4 hrs on my couch. I was miserable and in the end they said I couldn’t be promoted because the work I had was already stressing me out too much (I gave notice between reviews being finalized and revealed to make it clear this wasn’t a tantrum over my review) My takeaway: it doesn’t matter what the maximum possible achievement is in a job; you’ll only rise if you can enjoy it. Successful people aren’t happy; happy people are successful.

saiya-jin 7y ago
> Successful people aren’t happy; happy people are successful. In fact, many successful people with strong drive, very competitive etc. are deep down continuously unhappy. I mean, happy competitive person is a textbook oxymoron. At least that's how people I know with this trait are - always looking up to somebody faster, better, richer and not stopping and enjoying the moment.
zimbatm 7y ago
I would refine this a bit; happy people define their success through internal metrics. Don't let other decide what success means to you. Employers try to convince you that your success is correlated with what they want to do, but it is not the case. They are paying you to do your job and that's all. Ads try to convince you that success depends on purchasing their stuff, but it is not the case. There is always more stuff to buy. In fact it might hinder your success if it puts you in debt or prevents you from becoming financially independent. Parents often try to convince you that success depends on the agenda they created for you. Fuck all of this. Success is what you decide it is. If you like to write software, work on becoming a better developer. The market being as it is, the workplace success is then a side-effect. Obviously all of this is a bit simplified but not being pushed around helps a lot for being happy I find.
- PavlovsCat 7y ago
  > But among the things readiest to thy hand to which thou shalt turn, let there be these, which are two. One is that things do not touch the soul, for they are external and remain immovable; but our perturbations come only from the opinion which is within. The other is that all these things, which thou seest, change immediately and will no longer be; and constantly bear in mind how many of these changes thou hast already witnessed. The universe is transformation: life is opinion. -- Marcus Aurelius, http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.html http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.html
coldtea 7y ago
>He told me that any part of my personality that didn’t line up with what the company would score on a Meyers Briggs was a problem. He was an idiot. In an ideal society such persons would only work in the circus...

saiya-jin 7y ago

> Successful people aren’t happy; happy people are successful. In fact, many successful people with strong drive, very competitive etc. are deep down continuously unhappy. I mean, happy competitive person is a textbook oxymoron. At least that's how people I know with this trait are - always looking up to somebody faster, better, richer and not stopping and enjoying the moment.

zimbatm 7y ago

I would refine this a bit; happy people define their success through internal metrics. Don't let other decide what success means to you. Employers try to convince you that your success is correlated with what they want to do, but it is not the case. They are paying you to do your job and that's all. Ads try to convince you that success depends on purchasing their stuff, but it is not the case. There is always more stuff to buy. In fact it might hinder your success if it puts you in debt or prevents you from becoming financially independent. Parents often try to convince you that success depends on the agenda they created for you. Fuck all of this. Success is what you decide it is. If you like to write software, work on becoming a better developer. The market being as it is, the workplace success is then a side-effect. Obviously all of this is a bit simplified but not being pushed around helps a lot for being happy I find.

PavlovsCat 7y ago
> But among the things readiest to thy hand to which thou shalt turn, let there be these, which are two. One is that things do not touch the soul, for they are external and remain immovable; but our perturbations come only from the opinion which is within. The other is that all these things, which thou seest, change immediately and will no longer be; and constantly bear in mind how many of these changes thou hast already witnessed. The universe is transformation: life is opinion. -- Marcus Aurelius, http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.html http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.html

coldtea 7y ago

>He told me that any part of my personality that didn’t line up with what the company would score on a Meyers Briggs was a problem. He was an idiot. In an ideal society such persons would only work in the circus...