I know exactly how that feels. A switch flipped at some point though and it stopped bothering me: I gave up on any notions of mysticism - religion, higher mean

I know exactly how that feels. A switch flipped at some point though and it stopped bothering me: I gave up on any notions of mysticism - religion, higher meaning and all that and instead just accepted causality is all there is. Things happen because they're the only logical thing that could happen given the conditions. Think of it as taking Markov to a broader sense. You know what's so great about that, that relieves me so much? That there's no plan for me. No one is going to fix my issues, no one but myself. So I found comfort in having agency over my own circumstances. And I slowly started to fix whatever made me unhappy. The stuff you mentioned will bring you down for sure. Start attending to them and life will slowly get really awesome. No silver bullet of course, there are ups and downs but it feels so much better. And get help if you have to!