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I was also a frontline tech for some years, for Verizon DSL. These are all things I was asked by other geeks that I couldn't do: * Help you configure an email

I was also a frontline tech for some years, for Verizon DSL. These are all things I was asked by other geeks that I couldn't do: * Help you configure an email client that wasn't Outlook. (I could give the servers/ports/config info, but I couldn't help you figure out where to put them.) * Connect you directly to a higher-tier support person. At least at the time, if I tried, you'd be immediately redirected back to the front-line queue once the higher-up realized you hadn't done our troubleshooting. * Talk to Real Network Engineers without a serious wait time. You think we're in the same building, let alone state as them? The hold times were always horrible to get to talk to them. * Troubleshoot outside the script. Most of the guys we had were barely-trained phone jockeys, and the script was set up for them. I could deviate from the script as it was written, but I couldn't troubleshoot anything that wasn't somewhere on the list anyway. * No shit, some geek somewhere lost the ability to resolve DNS. First words out of their mouth: "Can you reboot your DNS servers?" I am not rightly able to comprehend the confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. (My answer was, verbatim: "Of course not. I'm not in the same building as them, I wouldn't have permission if I were, and they're working fine for our other customers.") Helpful hint: if the call times went over 12 minutes (this varies by call center and company), there will be folks prodding you to "resolve the call" so the call center had lower average call time stats. Quickest route to help: Just answer questions and do what they ask quickly. "Have you rebooted." Yes. "Have you power-cycled the modem?" Yes. Sometimes they'll ask you to do it, on the phone, for documentation purposes. Either do it or lie. The quicker you get to the end of the end of the script, the quicker you get an escalation.

MichaelApproved 16y ago
>> Quickest route to help: Just answer questions and do what they ask quickly... Either do it or lie. That's exactly what I do when I know it's not my stuff. Just get me to someone who knows what's going on. "Is your computer connected directly to the modem?" Yes, sure, whatever. Of course it's actually not because I know my router isn't the problem. It's almost always their network. I'm almost always one of the first to report it so it's not declared an outage yet. I learned it's declared an outage when enough customers ask for a technician to come out. The last time I actually listened and believed that it was my equipment, they had me get a new cable modem. Wasted an afternoon going to swap out my modem at their office only to come home and find an outage had finally been declared. Edit: longer rant
- generalk 16y ago
  > "Is your computer connected directly to the modem?" > Yes, sure, whatever. Of course it's actually not > because I know my router isn't the problem. Be careful with this one. I know I said to lie, but lie only if you're certain, because you've tested yourself already. These places have central ticketing systems, and if the history of your calls indicates that you're telling us you've done things and you haven't, you'll have a hell of a time getting escalated unless you do everything asked of you. Fun fact: I had plenty of calls where the router was obviously not the problem. But I had plenty where the router may have been an issue, and if you refuse so many times to remove it, we were allowed to "disconnect the call due to unproductivity" -- hang up after a short statement. Just take the extra few minutes to plug a machine straight in and check.
wrs 16y ago
I got a high score in this game once, calling Dell tech support to get a hard drive replacement. I had of course done all the troubleshooting in advance, so when the agent answered I said "Hi, my hard drive is having trouble, I've done this, and I've done that, ..." basically fast-forwarding through the script that I knew must exist. And I must have done it right because his response was "Uh...OK...looks like you have a bad hard drive, we'll ship a replacement right away." Yes!
- davemethvin 16y ago
  I was a contractor for the phone support group in a big mail-order PC vendor years ago. More than half the hardware that was swapped out like this was no-defect-found (NDF) after being tested, for example it was a Windows problem rather than a drive problem. For a while some vendors were recycling that NDF used hardware into new equipment but I think there was a lawsuit against Dell about it. With the cheap hardware nowadays they don't even bother to ask you to send the old stuff back. Call in complaining about a mouse or keyboard problem and they'll just mail you a new one.
- bokchoi 16y ago
  I had a similar experience. There are little code numbers on some of the Dell troubleshooting self-help pages. When you call in, you can mention you've already tried doing XYZ and list of the code numbers. The guy on the other end of the line said, "I've never had anyone so prepared before. I'll send out a replacement laptop screen right away."
xilun0 16y ago
> No shit, some geek somewhere lost the ability to resolve DNS. First words out of their mouth: "Can you reboot your DNS servers?" Please don't call that kind of people "geeks".

MichaelApproved 16y ago

>> Quickest route to help: Just answer questions and do what they ask quickly... Either do it or lie. That's exactly what I do when I know it's not my stuff. Just get me to someone who knows what's going on. "Is your computer connected directly to the modem?" Yes, sure, whatever. Of course it's actually not because I know my router isn't the problem. It's almost always their network. I'm almost always one of the first to report it so it's not declared an outage yet. I learned it's declared an outage when enough customers ask for a technician to come out. The last time I actually listened and believed that it was my equipment, they had me get a new cable modem. Wasted an afternoon going to swap out my modem at their office only to come home and find an outage had finally been declared. Edit: longer rant

generalk 16y ago
> "Is your computer connected directly to the modem?" > Yes, sure, whatever. Of course it's actually not > because I know my router isn't the problem. Be careful with this one. I know I said to lie, but lie only if you're certain, because you've tested yourself already. These places have central ticketing systems, and if the history of your calls indicates that you're telling us you've done things and you haven't, you'll have a hell of a time getting escalated unless you do everything asked of you. Fun fact: I had plenty of calls where the router was obviously not the problem. But I had plenty where the router may have been an issue, and if you refuse so many times to remove it, we were allowed to "disconnect the call due to unproductivity" -- hang up after a short statement. Just take the extra few minutes to plug a machine straight in and check.

wrs 16y ago

I got a high score in this game once, calling Dell tech support to get a hard drive replacement. I had of course done all the troubleshooting in advance, so when the agent answered I said "Hi, my hard drive is having trouble, I've done this, and I've done that, ..." basically fast-forwarding through the script that I knew must exist. And I must have done it right because his response was "Uh...OK...looks like you have a bad hard drive, we'll ship a replacement right away." Yes!

davemethvin 16y ago
I was a contractor for the phone support group in a big mail-order PC vendor years ago. More than half the hardware that was swapped out like this was no-defect-found (NDF) after being tested, for example it was a Windows problem rather than a drive problem. For a while some vendors were recycling that NDF used hardware into new equipment but I think there was a lawsuit against Dell about it. With the cheap hardware nowadays they don't even bother to ask you to send the old stuff back. Call in complaining about a mouse or keyboard problem and they'll just mail you a new one.
bokchoi 16y ago
I had a similar experience. There are little code numbers on some of the Dell troubleshooting self-help pages. When you call in, you can mention you've already tried doing XYZ and list of the code numbers. The guy on the other end of the line said, "I've never had anyone so prepared before. I'll send out a replacement laptop screen right away."

xilun0 16y ago

> No shit, some geek somewhere lost the ability to resolve DNS. First words out of their mouth: "Can you reboot your DNS servers?" Please don't call that kind of people "geeks".