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> Work is not a replacement for a social life, and there are more ways to develop one now than ever. And, the social load from people who do their social life a

by rifung 7y ago

> Work is not a replacement for a social life, and there are more ways to develop one now than ever. And, the social load from people who do their social life at work is actually one of the reasons I prefer working from home: I have only so many spoons to spare, and I'd rather spend them on people I chose to associate with. Those might, occasionally, happen to be coworkers, but even then I'd rather socialize in non-work context. I understand your point but I wonder if working with people who you would socialize with even outside of work makes work more enjoyable? From my rather limited experience of working, I've found that in the end the thing I actually work on matters a lot less to my happiness than the people who I do the work with. Alternatively, maybe I just don't like working as much as other people do? I'm starting to think when looking for a new team I should really be seeing whether I will like my coworkers instead of whether I'll like what I'm doing.

LaGrange 7y ago
> I understand your point but I wonder if working with people who you would socialize with even outside of work makes work more enjoyable? Not really. Who I like to work with and who I like to socialize doesn't necessarily match up. Furthermore, I have limited capacity for social interaction - that is why even _if_ I like the people, I prefer to socialize outside of work. Otherwise both work and socialization suffer. Finally, if your primary source of socialization is the workplace, you open yourself to abuse - companies can, and do, exploit the fact that for many people they become not just the source of income, but also the social support network. > From my rather limited experience of working, I've found that in the end the thing I actually work on matters a lot less to my happiness than the people who I do the work with. I just need the coworkers to not be horrible, and what I work with matters quite a lot - if there's one thing about the IT industry that really grinds my gears, it's how often even apparently socially beneficial products are just covers for privacy breaches and boom-and-bust schemes. > I'm starting to think when looking for a new team I should really be seeing whether I will like my coworkers instead of whether I'll like what I'm doing. You need both, though you might not get them. Just don't let the workplace _own your social life_. If you feel like working remotely means you have no social life, then you got used to that happening, and that will hurt you, remote or not.

by rifung 7y ago

LaGrange 7y ago

> I understand your point but I wonder if working with people who you would socialize with even outside of work makes work more enjoyable? Not really. Who I like to work with and who I like to socialize doesn't necessarily match up. Furthermore, I have limited capacity for social interaction - that is why even _if_ I like the people, I prefer to socialize outside of work. Otherwise both work and socialization suffer. Finally, if your primary source of socialization is the workplace, you open yourself to abuse - companies can, and do, exploit the fact that for many people they become not just the source of income, but also the social support network. > From my rather limited experience of working, I've found that in the end the thing I actually work on matters a lot less to my happiness than the people who I do the work with. I just need the coworkers to not be horrible, and what I work with matters quite a lot - if there's one thing about the IT industry that really grinds my gears, it's how often even apparently socially beneficial products are just covers for privacy breaches and boom-and-bust schemes. > I'm starting to think when looking for a new team I should really be seeing whether I will like my coworkers instead of whether I'll like what I'm doing. You need both, though you might not get them. Just don't let the workplace _own your social life_. If you feel like working remotely means you have no social life, then you got used to that happening, and that will hurt you, remote or not.