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I started using that approach in late adolescence as I was discovering that everyone has an internal world that I can't understand. I tried to give people the b

I started using that approach in late adolescence as I was discovering that everyone has an internal world that I can't understand. I tried to give people the benefit of the doubt and operate under the assumption that there is an underlying reason for hostile behavior. Over the years, I got seriously burned personally and professionally by malicious people that I made excuses for in my head. It hardened my heart and caused me to be less understanding and forgiving of people. Now I've come full circle. I'm back to your approach, but I play more defensively. People likely have a reason for being malicious that is out of their control. I don't need to judge them, but I do need to protect myself and my loved ones.

aidenn0 7y ago
> Now I've come full circle. I'm back to your approach, but I play more defensively. People likely have a reason for being malicious that is out of their control. I don't need to judge them, but I do need to protect myself and my loved ones. Yeah, if I get killed by someone who was not malicious, I'm just as dead as if I get killed by someone who was. To use the aggressive driver example: I don't need to be angered or insulted by someone cutting me off, but if I end up near them down the road, I'm going to try to change lanes or otherwise try to not end up near them. I think the main thing is to not be angered by the (assumed) maliciousness. I've seen people generate a lot of anger because they assume every slight is intentionally aimed at them: they cut me off just to piss me off; they didn't wave back because they hate me &c.