I understand that what people think feminism is will be dictated by the literature and rhetoric with which they grew up Actually, my view of feminism is taken

I understand that what people think feminism is will be dictated by the literature and rhetoric with which they grew up Actually, my view of feminism is taken directly from experiences with self-professed feminists. And they often are looking for preferential treatment, not equal. Most women I know have a distinct distaste for the term 'feminist', mostly because of that. Including my wife. And her mother. Both of whom are liberal, educated, very strong and independent women. The broad brush applicability of feminism doesn't work outside the reality distortion field of academia. I personally think the 'he' thing is somewhat damaging (as is the tone in the department that 'easy problems are for girls' and the charge leveled at me by my TA that 'you only got to skip prerequisites because you have tits') The gender pronoun issue, in common parlance, is not nearly as serious as the examples you provided afterward. Those are clear instances of harassment and potential discrimination against women. I'd be fighting that battle first, because you've got better odds at winning it. The former is more of a nuisance by comparison. Something that you'll find is that it's very difficult to change other people's thinking. If they're sexist creeps, your rhetoric will have little, if any, effect on them. Better to fight battles to get rid of those jerks in the first place than complain about their output.