9 ms·

>> The absolute worst things are these https://www.ehanddryers.com/hand-dryers/tap-hand-dryers https://www.ehanddryers.com/hand-dryers/tap-hand-dryers, my kids

by PakG1 7y ago

>> The absolute worst things are these https://www.ehanddryers.com/hand-dryers/tap-hand-dryers https://www.ehanddryers.com/hand-dryers/tap-hand-dryers, my kids just plain refuse to wash their hands out of fear of accidentally triggering the dryer Wow, I was recently in an airport bathroom where a young boy absolutely refused to wash his hands. His father was extremely patient and said that he needed to wash his hands. The boy was near tears saying that they would miss their plane. It was all a really strange and illogical situation. Until I read your sentence. I don't know if this is why the boy wouldn't wash his hands, but it makes me realize that sometimes kids have reasons for what they say or do, even if they can't explain it. Reminds me of the hand licking incident: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18842009 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18842009 I thought I had read all about the hand licking incident and learned not to make presumptions about kids. Today, I realize that the lesson hasn't really been ingrained into me yet.

mattbk1 7y ago
Thank you for sharing that link. Truly.
papln 7y ago
One thing to remember is that sometimes it's correct to realy trust your kids even in contradiction to your best assessment of the situation. The hand-licking story is about tactics for diagnosis, but another angle is that (sometimes) it's OK to not understand something, to think your kid is wrong, but to let them have their way anyway. Missing a plane vs dirty hands? Trust the kid, find another solution (grab a towel, wipe hands on pants, take the germ risk, etc), and talk about it later as best you can. You don't want to let your kid be the boss of everything; you don't want to let your kid ignore your intructions or choose to do something fun instead of necessary work, but if your kid would rather stand there and do nothing while getting upset instead of doing some small work item, they aren't "cheating" you out of anything by getting their way.
- behringer 7y ago
  Kids have a reason for everything they do. If you don't know the reason, it's because you've failed to communicate with them. Sometimes they don't know themselves, but that's still a kind of communication failure. There are many things my kids were saying that I only figured out days, weeks or years later. Listen, guide them, let them be, and don't be a helicopter parent.
NeedMoreTea 7y ago
I'm with the child on those tap dryers. They seem designed to blast any remaining drops of water in the bowl into your face or shirt. Hate the damn things and avoid them now. Maybe the places were using the wrong bowl or something. :)
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]
- twic 7y ago
  I saw these for the first time on monday. The first thing they did was blast all the water in the sink into a fine mist and spray it over me. I can't believe that the people who designed or specified these ever used them.
soulofmischief 7y ago
Interesting, thanks for sharing that link. I had a ton of weird tics as a kid which could easily be traced back to the large amounts of prescribed amphetamines I was forced to take under threat of punishment. The solution to the tics was... more punishment. It took me years to realize things such as, the reason I would chew on my shirt color all day even though I would routinely get sent to the principal's office and publicly embarrased by teachers or beaten at home was just because my jaw would get very tense and chewing motions relaxed it, and my mouth was the Sarah Desert and sucking on the fabric pulled moisture into my mouth.
- Balgair 7y ago
  You too!? I thought I was the only one! My shirts would be sopping wet in the front and would all have tooth holes from my chewing them, I'd go through a shirt a week nearly. I wasn't on any meds but my teacher at the time would dole out punishments regularly to me in class. I've put 2 and 2 together before, but I never knew I wasn't alone in this behaviour! Thanks for commenting, this really helped me.
  - soulofmischief 7y ago
    All those poor buttons. And then I come to find out that one popular tip for reducing dry mouth in dry environments is literally sucking on a button. I wonder how common it really is in young children. Certainly seemed I was the only one dealing with it at several different schools. Is it too late to form a club? Similarly, I had issues with scratching my nose in public, nail-biting, hair-pulling, picking at scabs, sucking my thumb at night... punished and beaten all the time for it, and some particularly nasty teachers would try to make a public example... come to find out in my adulthood that I have a literal disorder, body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) syndrome, which is related to OCD and bipolar disorder and ADHD which I also deal with, and heavily exacerbated and permanently worsened by my forced exposure to intense medication.
- jmathai 7y ago
  Did you outgrow the tics? If so, at what age and what led to outgrowing them?
Steltek 7y ago
The Kennebunk rest area in Maine was designed by someone who hates children or is utterly incompentent or both. The diaper changing table is flanked on both sides by 4 loud hand dryers. The icing on the cake is the solitary paper towel dispenser is located ABOVE the diaper table. If you drew the short straw for diaper time, you'll be treated with your child screaming for mercy from the dryer noise AND have people who prefer paper towels dripping their wet hands all over your kid.
carapace 7y ago
In re: "the hand licking incident" Oh the pathos! If only they had known of the "Six Step Reframe" algorithm (which is actually deprecated now in favor of even more effective algorithms.) In pseudocode: https://gist.github.com/calroc/4719702 https://gist.github.com/calroc/4719702
anon4242 7y ago
> sometimes kids have reasons for what they say or do Raising two kids I've come to think that this is almost always the case. The reasons may be based on misunderstandings but they are logically coherent in the context. A lot of times they may have a hard time explaining it, especially when an adult loses their temper because they decide the thing is just a folly. In my kids' school they are not allowed to wear shoes indoors, but my son refused to take his off and wouldn't explain why to the teachers. It drove them mad, and we got phone-calls and emails telling us this had to stop that he must obey the same rules as the rest of the kids! We spoke to him (without reproach) and slowly we realize that he knows his shoes are expensive (because they are pronation) and it turns out that someone had hidden them before. After we explain to the teachers he is allowed to keep is shoes by his desk as long as they are not on his feet. Problem solved.
- GuiA 7y ago
  It makes you wonder about how teachers are selected and trained in the first place/what kind of behaviors are incentivized that they would not be able to handle a minor situation like this and had to resort to emailing/phoning parents when all that was needed was to just sit down and have a calm chat with the kid.
  - jmathai 7y ago
    I imagine teachers don't have the time to have this type of 1:1 interaction with the 25 students in their class. Seems like email/phone communication to the parents is reasonable here. Something like disciplinary action would have been bad though.
    - aerophilic 7y ago
      I will add that it is 1 to 25 in California, other states vary. One of the reasons why better ratios help kids is exactly to give this type of individual attention.
  - Xelbair 7y ago
    Judging by teacher's earnings.. they are probably very badly selected and trained.
Simon_says 7y ago
The hand-licking incident is more like /r/kidsarefuckingstupid.

by PakG1 7y ago

mattbk1 7y ago

Thank you for sharing that link. Truly.

papln 7y ago

One thing to remember is that sometimes it's correct to realy trust your kids even in contradiction to your best assessment of the situation. The hand-licking story is about tactics for diagnosis, but another angle is that (sometimes) it's OK to not understand something, to think your kid is wrong, but to let them have their way anyway. Missing a plane vs dirty hands? Trust the kid, find another solution (grab a towel, wipe hands on pants, take the germ risk, etc), and talk about it later as best you can. You don't want to let your kid be the boss of everything; you don't want to let your kid ignore your intructions or choose to do something fun instead of necessary work, but if your kid would rather stand there and do nothing while getting upset instead of doing some small work item, they aren't "cheating" you out of anything by getting their way.

behringer 7y ago
Kids have a reason for everything they do. If you don't know the reason, it's because you've failed to communicate with them. Sometimes they don't know themselves, but that's still a kind of communication failure. There are many things my kids were saying that I only figured out days, weeks or years later. Listen, guide them, let them be, and don't be a helicopter parent.

NeedMoreTea 7y ago

I'm with the child on those tap dryers. They seem designed to blast any remaining drops of water in the bowl into your face or shirt. Hate the damn things and avoid them now. Maybe the places were using the wrong bowl or something. :)

deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
twic 7y ago
I saw these for the first time on monday. The first thing they did was blast all the water in the sink into a fine mist and spray it over me. I can't believe that the people who designed or specified these ever used them.

soulofmischief 7y ago

Interesting, thanks for sharing that link. I had a ton of weird tics as a kid which could easily be traced back to the large amounts of prescribed amphetamines I was forced to take under threat of punishment. The solution to the tics was... more punishment. It took me years to realize things such as, the reason I would chew on my shirt color all day even though I would routinely get sent to the principal's office and publicly embarrased by teachers or beaten at home was just because my jaw would get very tense and chewing motions relaxed it, and my mouth was the Sarah Desert and sucking on the fabric pulled moisture into my mouth.

Balgair 7y ago
You too!? I thought I was the only one! My shirts would be sopping wet in the front and would all have tooth holes from my chewing them, I'd go through a shirt a week nearly. I wasn't on any meds but my teacher at the time would dole out punishments regularly to me in class. I've put 2 and 2 together before, but I never knew I wasn't alone in this behaviour! Thanks for commenting, this really helped me.
- soulofmischief 7y ago
  All those poor buttons. And then I come to find out that one popular tip for reducing dry mouth in dry environments is literally sucking on a button. I wonder how common it really is in young children. Certainly seemed I was the only one dealing with it at several different schools. Is it too late to form a club? Similarly, I had issues with scratching my nose in public, nail-biting, hair-pulling, picking at scabs, sucking my thumb at night... punished and beaten all the time for it, and some particularly nasty teachers would try to make a public example... come to find out in my adulthood that I have a literal disorder, body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) syndrome, which is related to OCD and bipolar disorder and ADHD which I also deal with, and heavily exacerbated and permanently worsened by my forced exposure to intense medication.
jmathai 7y ago
Did you outgrow the tics? If so, at what age and what led to outgrowing them?

Steltek 7y ago

The Kennebunk rest area in Maine was designed by someone who hates children or is utterly incompentent or both. The diaper changing table is flanked on both sides by 4 loud hand dryers. The icing on the cake is the solitary paper towel dispenser is located ABOVE the diaper table. If you drew the short straw for diaper time, you'll be treated with your child screaming for mercy from the dryer noise AND have people who prefer paper towels dripping their wet hands all over your kid.

carapace 7y ago

In re: "the hand licking incident" Oh the pathos! If only they had known of the "Six Step Reframe" algorithm (which is actually deprecated now in favor of even more effective algorithms.) In pseudocode: https://gist.github.com/calroc/4719702 https://gist.github.com/calroc/4719702

anon4242 7y ago

> sometimes kids have reasons for what they say or do Raising two kids I've come to think that this is almost always the case. The reasons may be based on misunderstandings but they are logically coherent in the context. A lot of times they may have a hard time explaining it, especially when an adult loses their temper because they decide the thing is just a folly. In my kids' school they are not allowed to wear shoes indoors, but my son refused to take his off and wouldn't explain why to the teachers. It drove them mad, and we got phone-calls and emails telling us this had to stop that he must obey the same rules as the rest of the kids! We spoke to him (without reproach) and slowly we realize that he knows his shoes are expensive (because they are pronation) and it turns out that someone had hidden them before. After we explain to the teachers he is allowed to keep is shoes by his desk as long as they are not on his feet. Problem solved.

GuiA 7y ago
It makes you wonder about how teachers are selected and trained in the first place/what kind of behaviors are incentivized that they would not be able to handle a minor situation like this and had to resort to emailing/phoning parents when all that was needed was to just sit down and have a calm chat with the kid.
- jmathai 7y ago
  I imagine teachers don't have the time to have this type of 1:1 interaction with the 25 students in their class. Seems like email/phone communication to the parents is reasonable here. Something like disciplinary action would have been bad though.
  - aerophilic 7y ago
    I will add that it is 1 to 25 in California, other states vary. One of the reasons why better ratios help kids is exactly to give this type of individual attention.
- Xelbair 7y ago
  Judging by teacher's earnings.. they are probably very badly selected and trained.

Simon_says 7y ago

The hand-licking incident is more like /r/kidsarefuckingstupid.