How one knows what to fix regarding character and behaviour, if for the person nothing works? Not a little bit, less often, a little bit later, a little bit dif

How one knows what to fix regarding character and behaviour, if for the person nothing works? Not a little bit, less often, a little bit later, a little bit different, with different kind of person. Nothing works, never. Please save me from the objectifying story, as both genders are gravely guilty of this (height requirements, demanding certain position and status from the men, very demanding list of character traits in general, all this while expecting appearance of someone professional like actors or celebrities).