"But the rejoinder "you're welcome", which once greeted almost any expression of thanks in America, is in retreat. In its place is a sort of wordless acknowled

"But the rejoinder "you're welcome", which once greeted almost any expression of thanks in America, is in retreat. In its place is a sort of wordless acknowledgement, halfway between a grunt and a hum, "mm-hmmm". It is a sound that acknowledges your thanks but implies that no great joy has been found in helping you either." I agree with this 100% up until the last sentence, where he clearly indicates that he just doesn't get what's actually happening in these cases. Where I see this happening, is when people say "Thank You" over-enthusiastically, or in response to things that were done as a matter of course and deserve no thanks. The person being thanked is taken off-guard and slightly embarrassed to have been thanked for something which he would have done anyway. It feels like saying "You're Welcome," would be to acknowledge the thanks-worthiness of the act in question, which would be a form of dishonesty, so they can't say that. On the other hand, it would be unambiguously rude to say nothing, so they mumble something non-committal in a vague attempt to to say, more or less, "Really, it's nothing." Why don't they just say that? Probably because they are taken off guard and slightly embarrassed. The really perplexing thing about this is that just a few paragraphs later, he gives a prime example of this effect in action: "It is curiously moving to see them sitting looking a little embarrassed as a pilot or flight attendant calls on their fellow passengers to give their service and sacrifice a standing ovation." They don't generally think of what they are doing as some sort of great sacrifice or heroic endeavor: they think of it as a job, and also as a way to give back to a country which has given them much. If you look at their rank insignia, the majority of them are very junior, unlikely to have done anything in their thus-far short careers other than attend training. They're probably thinking, "These people think I'm some kind of war hero, and I haven't even done any real work yet, let alone deployed." I personally think that their service is nonetheless praiseworthy, but I'm not talking about the actual merits of their actions, I'm talking about their perception of those merits. So when every ticket agent, TSA screener, gate agent, or flight attendant they come across says, "Thank you for your service," they don't really feel justified in saying, "You're welcome." Most eventually learn to smile brightly, look the other person in the eye, and cheerfully say, "You're Welcome," because they learn that this is another form of service: it makes Americans feel good to express gratitude to those in uniform. [EDITED a couple of typos]