5 ms·
No offense, but aren't you guys the ones who keep on the hedonic treadmill by constantly changing partners and are never actually satisfied? The ones actually
by raducu 7y ago
No offense, but aren't you guys the ones who keep on the hedonic treadmill by constantly changing partners and are never actually satisfied?
The ones actually chasing after that new relationship energy/dopamine rush?
Isn't it backwards to spin the normal progression of a romantic relationship as hedonic?
Are the people into poly some kind of saints/ascets and the people on the "relationship escalator" the hedonits? (this is not meant to be a straw man)
- k__ 7y agoJust because you have multiple partners doesn't mean that you have to be "constantly changing partners". You are totally right, there are many people who run after the "new relationship energy" as other people are ascending the "relationship escalator". I just wanted to point out that there isn't one right way to happiness in relationships :)
- raducu 7y agoI think hedonism is a valid personal choice(if it's a culture-wide beneficial choice -- that's debatable), there's no need to paint other choices black(not saying you were doing directly). Experiencing in myself and other what you call the "relationship escalator" -- I can assure you it's not driven by hedonism, it's just a functional necessity, at least in the vast majority of cases and history(sure there can be people doing it to brag on social media). To me it seems that the term "relationship escalator" is pejorative and that you were conflating it with the "hedonic treadmill" and somehow contrasting it with polyamory. The "hedonic treadmill" effect as described in the wikipedia should apply just as much to monogamy and polyamory or celibacy -- after all, it suggests you will revert to mean happyness after a while.
- k__ 7y agoI have the impression that is just what I said. I didn't mean to talk monogamy down, I just said I heard about the concept of a relationship escalator in my poly community and it reminded me of the hedonic treadmill. Doesn't mean that I don't met polys that had the hedonic treadmill problem.
- Joof 7y agoPerspective. There's no necessity to constantly change partners. The point was that people adapt and keep wanting more. I'm a stoic (largely by nature) and have enjoyed polyamory. Dated a hedonist.