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I've always been bothered by the "Apologize to your brother" idea. In general, it is totally fake, and everybody knows this. I'd rather not encourage dishonest
by burfog 7y ago
I've always been bothered by the "Apologize to your brother" idea.
In general, it is totally fake, and everybody knows this. I'd rather not encourage dishonesty. Granted, dishonesty may be a useful skill, but I think kids can figure it out without parental encouragement.
- Smithalicious 7y agoI agree with this sentiment but I think "apologizing even when you don't feel like you did anything wrong" is the kind of dishonesty that's absolutely necessary to get by in society and that you should definitely teach your kids.
- jacobr 7y agoIt’s also about showing the sibling that was hit that you as a parent consider the behavior unacceptable. They need to feel that grownups react, even if they realize the apology is fake.
- richardhod 7y agoAbsolutely not: it's essential, because all but psychopathic people learn how to do things for real by going through the actions. This is essential training.
- JshWright 7y agoIt establishes the expected behavior. You're absolutely right that it doesn't teach sincerity, but that's not the point. It builds the habit, and it forces acknowledgement that another party was harmed (even if they lack the empathy to care about that yet, empathy starts with awareness). Sincerity is largely learned by example. It's important for parents to model sincere apologies when they screw up. To each other, to their kids, etc.