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First, as always you get better by practicing. Second, you don't need to be witty or spontaneous at all. You can think of a nice thing beforehand ( * ) and just

First, as always you get better by practicing. Second, you don't need to be witty or spontaneous at all. You can think of a nice thing beforehand ( * ) and just use it when there is an opportunity. You can also make sure that the possible downside is low by e.g. talking when it is clear that you don't have to spend half an hour sitting next to another in, then, awkward silence. Some sort of reason for initiating a conversation also helps, in my opinion, so that talking about something doesn't come as much as a surprise (e.g. talking about some thing in view or an event that just happened). Simple example: "Your groceries look a lot healthier than mine" in the queue at the super market started nice conversations for me. It was clear that we'd just have stand next to each other for two minutes if the other didn't want to engage in conversation. It was a sort of compliment (you are shopping better things that I do) and it had a at least some sort of reason (there are real goods on the conveyor belt and they differ in healthiness). Oh and really: limiting the risk by choosing temporary situations really helps to avoid the fear of having to spend time in awkward silence if the attempt at chatting fails. ( * ) Just anything can work here: "And I wondered whether I should bring an umbrella today" to someone actually having one; "Looks interesting" to your neighbour at a street performance; ...

nostalgk 7y ago
Another thing is that a lot of people consistently place themselves in a spotlight and imagine that conversations could go south, but really, other people don't typically hold one to the standard one holds themselves. Since I've started trying to talk to other people, I've noticed others doing the same to others and I. Occasionally someone in the same position will come up and say something awkward or basically a non-starter in conversation, and I find that I don't really judge them at all. Most of the time, I try to entertain them anyway or turn it into a positive conversation, and I've noticed others doing the same for me as well.
sharadov 7y ago
An offhand compliment works great as well, you can't come off creepy :-))
alphagrep12345 7y ago
As an Indian in the US, I do not understand what is acceptable, and what is not. Eg: An elderly woman was sharing Uber pool with me. She was complaining to someone over the phone about how Uber's new app does not have an option. I knew that the option was present, just that they moved it to a different page in the app. Should I communicate this to her after her phone call? What if she thinks I'm listening to her private conversation? I finally didn't tell her anything.
- chrisshroba 7y ago
  Personally, I would go for it! I would appreciate it if I were in that situation, and if for some reason she took it poorly, hey it's one ride of your life :)
- m463 7y ago
  > As an Indian in the US, I do not understand what is acceptable, and what is not. Maybe just ask her. I remember a conversation I had with an Indian coworker - he asked me, "Why do Americans get so upset when I honk my car horn at them in traffic?" That led to an interesting conversation.

nostalgk 7y ago

Another thing is that a lot of people consistently place themselves in a spotlight and imagine that conversations could go south, but really, other people don't typically hold one to the standard one holds themselves. Since I've started trying to talk to other people, I've noticed others doing the same to others and I. Occasionally someone in the same position will come up and say something awkward or basically a non-starter in conversation, and I find that I don't really judge them at all. Most of the time, I try to entertain them anyway or turn it into a positive conversation, and I've noticed others doing the same for me as well.

sharadov 7y ago

An offhand compliment works great as well, you can't come off creepy :-))

alphagrep12345 7y ago

As an Indian in the US, I do not understand what is acceptable, and what is not. Eg: An elderly woman was sharing Uber pool with me. She was complaining to someone over the phone about how Uber's new app does not have an option. I knew that the option was present, just that they moved it to a different page in the app. Should I communicate this to her after her phone call? What if she thinks I'm listening to her private conversation? I finally didn't tell her anything.

chrisshroba 7y ago
Personally, I would go for it! I would appreciate it if I were in that situation, and if for some reason she took it poorly, hey it's one ride of your life :)
m463 7y ago
> As an Indian in the US, I do not understand what is acceptable, and what is not. Maybe just ask her. I remember a conversation I had with an Indian coworker - he asked me, "Why do Americans get so upset when I honk my car horn at them in traffic?" That led to an interesting conversation.