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This sort of experience is fundamental to developing an appreciation for privacy. It just feels bad on a pretty basic level to have your privacy violated, or to

This sort of experience is fundamental to developing an appreciation for privacy. It just feels bad on a pretty basic level to have your privacy violated, or to uncover things you weren't supposed. Here's my two big transformative privacy moments. I'm fifteen and talking online with various strangers from all over the world, as one did at the time, and one night at 3am one of my closest friends calls me as a joke. It was an older man from a different country. My mom answers, freaks out, and wakes up my dad who comes into my room and drags me away from the computer and asks who the hell is calling for me at this hour. I tell my dad it's a friend. He asks me who. I tell him his internet handle and my dad calms down, tells my mom it's okay, and sends me to bed. What I put together later and through similar experiences was that my dad had already vetted the guy. He knew everything I was doing and saying to people. Everything. It took me a long time to understand he was a nervous, technically-minded parent navigating a new aspect of parenting in the early 2000s. But the feeling of paranoia and violation lingered. The second experience was being an insecure teenager and accessing people's emails and msn conversations. The things I learned were things I didn't want to learn, and weren't fair for me to know, and they just made me feel bad, untrusting, and slimy. But I'm grateful to have learned that early in life. I don't care about other people's emails or texts. I have zero interest or inkling to go through anyone's phone or data out of a basic level of understanding and respect for privacy.

skinnymuch 7y ago
The dad story sucks. My parents spied on me when I was in high school too. That was the first time I learned to use Linux. However. It didn’t really do anything to me. I was furious at the time. But now a decade later it doesn’t matter at all. I don’t think I’d care if someone close to me goes through my stuff if i die. And I don’t think my parents or brother would care if I go through their stuff if they pass away before they can set up how to deal with their digital stuff. The only ramification I can think of would be my father being sad at seeing some of my behavior which he would view as immoral because of his conservatism. Though on the other hand. I stumbled across two secrets of a close relative because of some physical disks being left behind when they went off somewhere. I’ve never brought it up to anyone. I do wish I never knew them. And I do believe many people would negatively judge what was seen. That would be unfortunate. I guess I don’t think being so black and white with privacy like HN usually is, is so obvious. Like how I don’t value my privacy if I die that much.
- User23 7y ago
  Parents have a duty to protect their children, including from themselves. That said they also have a duty to allow their older children enough freedom to learn independence. It’s a hard problem and there’s no algorithm.
- mehrdadn 7y ago
  > I don’t think I’d care if someone close to me goes through my stuff if i die. Do you care that those you communicated with might care? It's probably not going to be just about you and your family.
  - zimpenfish 7y ago
    This is what I try and get across to people who are snippy about me not letting them touch/look at my phone - "There are other people in there, not just me".

skinnymuch 7y ago

The dad story sucks. My parents spied on me when I was in high school too. That was the first time I learned to use Linux. However. It didn’t really do anything to me. I was furious at the time. But now a decade later it doesn’t matter at all. I don’t think I’d care if someone close to me goes through my stuff if i die. And I don’t think my parents or brother would care if I go through their stuff if they pass away before they can set up how to deal with their digital stuff. The only ramification I can think of would be my father being sad at seeing some of my behavior which he would view as immoral because of his conservatism. Though on the other hand. I stumbled across two secrets of a close relative because of some physical disks being left behind when they went off somewhere. I’ve never brought it up to anyone. I do wish I never knew them. And I do believe many people would negatively judge what was seen. That would be unfortunate. I guess I don’t think being so black and white with privacy like HN usually is, is so obvious. Like how I don’t value my privacy if I die that much.

User23 7y ago
Parents have a duty to protect their children, including from themselves. That said they also have a duty to allow their older children enough freedom to learn independence. It’s a hard problem and there’s no algorithm.
mehrdadn 7y ago
> I don’t think I’d care if someone close to me goes through my stuff if i die. Do you care that those you communicated with might care? It's probably not going to be just about you and your family.
- zimpenfish 7y ago
  This is what I try and get across to people who are snippy about me not letting them touch/look at my phone - "There are other people in there, not just me".