"Hey, would you buy 1 50-billionth of my company for a dollar? Sign this, please. Thanks." I can probably manage to avoid a down round for a while, but only if

"Hey, would you buy 1 50-billionth of my company for a dollar? Sign this, please. Thanks." I can probably manage to avoid a down round for a while, but only if I don't run out of cash or accidentally IPO. (Every month: "Hey, would you buy 1 (1.2x previous valuation)th of my company for a buck? Sign here. Thanks!") "Revenue is flat but market cap is increasing 20% month over month!"