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Once he placed the ring on her finger he accepted her terms .. as an American who hasn’t grown up with Asian cultural norms I would never marry someone with an

Once he placed the ring on her finger he accepted her terms .. as an American who hasn’t grown up with Asian cultural norms I would never marry someone with an obligation to take care of their parents also in America.

codingdave 7y ago
Then it might surprise you that 30 states in the USA have laws requiring you to be financially responsible for your parents' care if they cannot cover it themselves.
- madengr 7y ago
  That’s insane, as there is no limit to the amount of money that can be spent on elderly care, and whole industries with the sole purpose of bilking the life savings of the elderly. Do you have a link to the list of states?
  - Jabbles 7y ago
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws (see citations)
    - madengr 7y ago
      Thanks. Damn, glad I don’t live in one: “In 2012, the media reported the case of John Pittas, whose mother had received care in a skilled nursing facility in Pennsylvania after an accident and then moved to Greece. The nursing home sued her son directly, before even trying to collect from Medicaid. A court in Pennsylvania ruled that the son must pay, according to the Pennsylvania filial responsibility law.”
rayiner 7y ago
What kind of American? Multigenerational living is still routine among African Americans and Hispanic Americans, and pretty common among rural white Americans. The median distance an American lives from their mom is just 18 miles.
- mariojv 7y ago
  Fascinating piece of data. I found a source here which breaks down the "distance from mom" statistic further by region: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-family.html https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-f...
- fjsolwmv 7y ago
  Upper middle class American. People who focus on accumulating and spending wealth on themselves tend to draw their circle quite narrowly.
epistasis 7y ago
That's odd to me, and I'm not sure how common it is. I would never have expected to have to take in my parents growing up, but now that I'm reaching middle age it definitely seems like not only something that may happen, but also a far better situation than the alternatives. If not me, perhaps a sibling could do it. Also, my spouse's parents wouldn't necessarily require care, but honestly I'd really prefer if they came to live with us too. I may be an outlier, but I see the nuclear suburban family lifestyle as a recipe for misery and loneliness. I look forward both to multigenerational living and to more dense walkable neighborhoods.
jnwatson 7y ago
I have a normal American background. I grew up in a house with my parents and elderly grandparents. I married a woman with full knowledge we would have to support her mother who had cognitive issues due to a stroke. I’m not sure where this idea came from that it is somehow an Eastern ideal to take care of your parents. It is common across many parts of Europe and the US. Social Security is nice, but that’s just money. It doesn’t address the emotional and cultural aspects of keeping the elderly part of society.

codingdave 7y ago

Then it might surprise you that 30 states in the USA have laws requiring you to be financially responsible for your parents' care if they cannot cover it themselves.

madengr 7y ago
That’s insane, as there is no limit to the amount of money that can be spent on elderly care, and whole industries with the sole purpose of bilking the life savings of the elderly. Do you have a link to the list of states?
- Jabbles 7y ago
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws (see citations)
  - madengr 7y ago
    Thanks. Damn, glad I don’t live in one: “In 2012, the media reported the case of John Pittas, whose mother had received care in a skilled nursing facility in Pennsylvania after an accident and then moved to Greece. The nursing home sued her son directly, before even trying to collect from Medicaid. A court in Pennsylvania ruled that the son must pay, according to the Pennsylvania filial responsibility law.”

rayiner 7y ago

What kind of American? Multigenerational living is still routine among African Americans and Hispanic Americans, and pretty common among rural white Americans. The median distance an American lives from their mom is just 18 miles.

mariojv 7y ago
Fascinating piece of data. I found a source here which breaks down the "distance from mom" statistic further by region: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-family.html https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-f...
fjsolwmv 7y ago
Upper middle class American. People who focus on accumulating and spending wealth on themselves tend to draw their circle quite narrowly.

epistasis 7y ago

That's odd to me, and I'm not sure how common it is. I would never have expected to have to take in my parents growing up, but now that I'm reaching middle age it definitely seems like not only something that may happen, but also a far better situation than the alternatives. If not me, perhaps a sibling could do it. Also, my spouse's parents wouldn't necessarily require care, but honestly I'd really prefer if they came to live with us too. I may be an outlier, but I see the nuclear suburban family lifestyle as a recipe for misery and loneliness. I look forward both to multigenerational living and to more dense walkable neighborhoods.

jnwatson 7y ago

I have a normal American background. I grew up in a house with my parents and elderly grandparents. I married a woman with full knowledge we would have to support her mother who had cognitive issues due to a stroke. I’m not sure where this idea came from that it is somehow an Eastern ideal to take care of your parents. It is common across many parts of Europe and the US. Social Security is nice, but that’s just money. It doesn’t address the emotional and cultural aspects of keeping the elderly part of society.