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I mean, I’m in a similar boat. I did the whole “make it rain” thing for a few years by dripping in designer clothes, fancy restaurants, etc. But that lifestyle

I mean, I’m in a similar boat. I did the whole “make it rain” thing for a few years by dripping in designer clothes, fancy restaurants, etc. But that lifestyle made me way more anxious as impostor syndrome kicked in. Having money doesn’t really solve problems; there’s always someone with more who will make you feel poor. Buy a Gucci bag and it’ll feel like half the world is dripping bespoke Hermès. You can’t win. I live way more frugally these days. I don’t intentionally scrimp and save, I just find it difficult to spend what I make without buying $5,000 purses that will get donated when they’re way out of fashion in 2 years. I know, I know: first world problems. But it’s emblematic of the wealth inequality in the US: a lot of people are struggling to make ends meet while some people have to invest effort into finding ways to spend the money they make.

joncrane 7y ago
Good on you on graduating from that mindset.
badpun 7y ago
> Buy a Gucci bag and it’ll feel like half the world is dripping bespoke Hermès. You can’t win. This is fascinating. I suspect 99% of people simply don't care and can't even tell a $50 purse from $5000 one, and this Gucci vs Hermes rivarvly is only relevant for a tiny minority of sad snobs. Like the other poster said, good for you for ditching this.
- wayoutthere 7y ago
  Right; the whole mindset is about trying to impress the people you deem “above” you and climb some bullshit social ladder that means about as much as Instagram likes. But you know in the back of your mind, they’re just as lonely and looking for validation as I was. It’s kind of ironic: these days, within my private world, my job and the money I make cause people to distrust me at first. Most of my friends make less than a quarter of what I make, so I have to be careful about new purchases (e.g. a friend of mine had been saving for a $2500 guitar which I could easily have bought on a whim — but I got a way cheaper one so as to not make her feel like shit because she is far more dedicated to her music than I am). At the same time I can’t buy my friends things like that because it distances me and makes them feel they owe me. I don’t see it like that — I feel the amount of money I make is arbitrarily unfair because I blindly made a career decision 20 years ago that worked out from me. But they do, so I have to be sensitive. I still wear the flashy clothes, purses and shoes in a work context because they make me feel like a confident bad bitch and I’m client-facing. But I do it for me rather than the external validation (ok, and maybe a bit of imposter syndrome). Also it’s entirely the same with the men so this isn’t a sexist thing — it’s just bespoke suits, shoes and watches for the guys. And a class ring on your finger if it’s from an Ivy. And this is true regardless of the kind of “business” — go to the music world and it’s all streetwear with $500 Supreme t-shirts and $2500 limited-edition sneakers; and the tech world has hoodies, bicycles, cars and the latest bleeding-edge tech. It’s all peacocking.
- turk73 7y ago
  Yeah, I have zero clue what handbag you have nor could I care less. You are not your khakis.
- ab8 7y ago
  You would be surprised how many people care deeply about this. And they can tell a lot about the purses and their owners. Those that care put in a lot of time to research them - like some people do cars.
  - Balero 7y ago
    Or shoes, or watches, or hats, or trousers, or shirts, or suits or anyone one of thousands of expensive items and brands. They make their money by telling people that owning them sends a signal to others.
- mgleason_3 7y ago
  Reminds me of a story I read once about a woman who had finally gotten the purse she wanted. She was walking down the sidewalk an a woman coming the other way had an even more expensive purse which she turned toward her. The expensive purse woman took a subtlety diagonal path to gradually force her to the side until she had to step behind a light post to avoid a collision. Quite the power move hahaha.
debbiedowner 7y ago
Ha I read this comment, then the article, and I got my first ad for Hermes!

joncrane 7y ago

Good on you on graduating from that mindset.

badpun 7y ago

> Buy a Gucci bag and it’ll feel like half the world is dripping bespoke Hermès. You can’t win. This is fascinating. I suspect 99% of people simply don't care and can't even tell a $50 purse from $5000 one, and this Gucci vs Hermes rivarvly is only relevant for a tiny minority of sad snobs. Like the other poster said, good for you for ditching this.

wayoutthere 7y ago
Right; the whole mindset is about trying to impress the people you deem “above” you and climb some bullshit social ladder that means about as much as Instagram likes. But you know in the back of your mind, they’re just as lonely and looking for validation as I was. It’s kind of ironic: these days, within my private world, my job and the money I make cause people to distrust me at first. Most of my friends make less than a quarter of what I make, so I have to be careful about new purchases (e.g. a friend of mine had been saving for a $2500 guitar which I could easily have bought on a whim — but I got a way cheaper one so as to not make her feel like shit because she is far more dedicated to her music than I am). At the same time I can’t buy my friends things like that because it distances me and makes them feel they owe me. I don’t see it like that — I feel the amount of money I make is arbitrarily unfair because I blindly made a career decision 20 years ago that worked out from me. But they do, so I have to be sensitive. I still wear the flashy clothes, purses and shoes in a work context because they make me feel like a confident bad bitch and I’m client-facing. But I do it for me rather than the external validation (ok, and maybe a bit of imposter syndrome). Also it’s entirely the same with the men so this isn’t a sexist thing — it’s just bespoke suits, shoes and watches for the guys. And a class ring on your finger if it’s from an Ivy. And this is true regardless of the kind of “business” — go to the music world and it’s all streetwear with $500 Supreme t-shirts and $2500 limited-edition sneakers; and the tech world has hoodies, bicycles, cars and the latest bleeding-edge tech. It’s all peacocking.
turk73 7y ago
Yeah, I have zero clue what handbag you have nor could I care less. You are not your khakis.
ab8 7y ago
You would be surprised how many people care deeply about this. And they can tell a lot about the purses and their owners. Those that care put in a lot of time to research them - like some people do cars.
- Balero 7y ago
  Or shoes, or watches, or hats, or trousers, or shirts, or suits or anyone one of thousands of expensive items and brands. They make their money by telling people that owning them sends a signal to others.
mgleason_3 7y ago
Reminds me of a story I read once about a woman who had finally gotten the purse she wanted. She was walking down the sidewalk an a woman coming the other way had an even more expensive purse which she turned toward her. The expensive purse woman took a subtlety diagonal path to gradually force her to the side until she had to step behind a light post to avoid a collision. Quite the power move hahaha.

debbiedowner 7y ago

Ha I read this comment, then the article, and I got my first ad for Hermes!