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>Not to excuse the behavior of your drivers, but you should understand that men are having a difficult time with approaching women these days. We feel really in

>Not to excuse the behavior of your drivers, but you should understand that men are having a difficult time with approaching women these days. We feel really inadequate and sort of aimless. The dating world is seriously dangerous right now and to be honest Are you in the US? Leave it. Seriously, I encourage all men to become expats if they don't already have children in the US that they are trying to raise. Just completely abandon a system and society that is failing to meet your needs. If you feel inadequate, ask yourself A) by whose metrics? and B) why?. Go to the gym, dress better. Have goals in your life (outside of dating) that you aggressively pursue. The US dating scene is increasingly insane, and men don't even realize it because they aren't exposed to kind, helpful, friendly, feminine women that are simply abundant in other cultures (or even in Flyover states, if you look there). And finally: > there isn't a lot of guidance from women The more women you date, the more you will realize that most dating "guidance" from women is absolutely useless. The cognitive dissonance most of them have will blow your mind when you witness it first-hand. And women don't want a man that they have to "guide" anyway. They want to attach themselves to a guy who's got his sh*t together and knows what he wants.

dgzl 7y ago
I do live in the US, and I really enjoy my area. There's an abundance of nearby outdoor rock climbing and snowboarding, both of which I'm very skilled at. I have a well-paying tech job, no debt, not much baggage, blue eyes. I think my biggest deterrent for women is that I'm somewhat short and have a slight receding hairline, which is apparently enough to detract from all my positives. I've lived in the Midwest before and it's worse there, partly because I couldn't practice my sports which kept me out of shape, partly because it was even harder finding like-minded friends, in part because I don't like regular sports. I would definitely consider moving out of country if that opportunity ever came up. > And women don't want a man that they have to "guide" anyway. They want to attach themselves to a guy who's got his sh*t together and knows what he wants. This leads into what I consider unrecognized female privilege. From what I can tell, women have a pretty big list of superficial expectations from their partners, and are really quick to dismiss those who don't fall into place. They also gave an abundance of interested suitors who they can sort through until they find they one they way. Me on the other hand, I'm lucky to find someone interested in me who even passes my most basic tests. Equality in dating doesn't exist and it's highly skewed in favor of women.
- whamlastxmas 7y ago
  There's not really a humble way to say this. As an attractive man who has his shit together and makes good money, I have zero issues with dating and if anything I feel more in control of the situation than the women I meet. The issue is likely that you're not very attractive or you're setting your standards too high for the women you pursue.
  - dgzl 7y ago
    I'm convinced it's mostly my height and lack of friends. I'm not particularly handsome but I'm definitely not ugly. As for standards, why should we settle for less than an equal version of ourselves? Same height, education, looks, strength, ability, finances, etc.? In my experience, women almost exclusively "date up".
    - whamlastxmas 7y ago
      My unkind but honest assessment given the evidence is you're over rating how attractive you are, both physically and socially. The good news you can fix both a lot. Hit the gym, get jacked, make a lot of friends. Most anyone can do it. Also if your hair sucks just embrace it and shave it off and grow an awesome beard. And accept that any woman taller than you is probably not interested.
      - dgzl 7y ago
        I appreciate the help, and you're not wrong about many things. However I think I'm fairly aware of my attractiveness, I'm just sad the country uses shallow metrics for attraction. This country is keen on glorifying narcissism and exclusion rather than humility and inclusion, and that's not now I grew up. I'd rather give my love away than play stupid social games. I'm athletically fit and don't have any intentions of bulking up. I'm at the climbing gym a few times a week, and climb outdoors a few times a month. Multi-pitch, trad, free-solo, whatever. The biggest challenge, and the entire reason I started commenting here, is that finding friends is hard. Chatting someone up is easy, but getting a new person to take time out of their schedule to hang out with you is really difficult.

dgzl 7y ago

I do live in the US, and I really enjoy my area. There's an abundance of nearby outdoor rock climbing and snowboarding, both of which I'm very skilled at. I have a well-paying tech job, no debt, not much baggage, blue eyes. I think my biggest deterrent for women is that I'm somewhat short and have a slight receding hairline, which is apparently enough to detract from all my positives. I've lived in the Midwest before and it's worse there, partly because I couldn't practice my sports which kept me out of shape, partly because it was even harder finding like-minded friends, in part because I don't like regular sports. I would definitely consider moving out of country if that opportunity ever came up. > And women don't want a man that they have to "guide" anyway. They want to attach themselves to a guy who's got his sh*t together and knows what he wants. This leads into what I consider unrecognized female privilege. From what I can tell, women have a pretty big list of superficial expectations from their partners, and are really quick to dismiss those who don't fall into place. They also gave an abundance of interested suitors who they can sort through until they find they one they way. Me on the other hand, I'm lucky to find someone interested in me who even passes my most basic tests. Equality in dating doesn't exist and it's highly skewed in favor of women.

whamlastxmas 7y ago
There's not really a humble way to say this. As an attractive man who has his shit together and makes good money, I have zero issues with dating and if anything I feel more in control of the situation than the women I meet. The issue is likely that you're not very attractive or you're setting your standards too high for the women you pursue.
- dgzl 7y ago
  I'm convinced it's mostly my height and lack of friends. I'm not particularly handsome but I'm definitely not ugly. As for standards, why should we settle for less than an equal version of ourselves? Same height, education, looks, strength, ability, finances, etc.? In my experience, women almost exclusively "date up".
  - whamlastxmas 7y ago
    My unkind but honest assessment given the evidence is you're over rating how attractive you are, both physically and socially. The good news you can fix both a lot. Hit the gym, get jacked, make a lot of friends. Most anyone can do it. Also if your hair sucks just embrace it and shave it off and grow an awesome beard. And accept that any woman taller than you is probably not interested.
    - dgzl 7y ago
      I appreciate the help, and you're not wrong about many things. However I think I'm fairly aware of my attractiveness, I'm just sad the country uses shallow metrics for attraction. This country is keen on glorifying narcissism and exclusion rather than humility and inclusion, and that's not now I grew up. I'd rather give my love away than play stupid social games. I'm athletically fit and don't have any intentions of bulking up. I'm at the climbing gym a few times a week, and climb outdoors a few times a month. Multi-pitch, trad, free-solo, whatever. The biggest challenge, and the entire reason I started commenting here, is that finding friends is hard. Chatting someone up is easy, but getting a new person to take time out of their schedule to hang out with you is really difficult.