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As a woman, there are definitely times I don't want to deal with a driver hitting on me. It happens annoyingly frequently, and it's this delicate social situati

As a woman, there are definitely times I don't want to deal with a driver hitting on me. It happens annoyingly frequently, and it's this delicate social situation that requires more mental effort to negotiate than I want to give it. Friendly conversation (with men and women both) is fine and I've engaged in plenty. But if a driver is too busy telling me just how beautiful I am and as a result drives me to the cargo part of the airport rather than the passenger terminal and makes me late... and I have to sort of humor him and not just say wtf because that's the social contract? Or if I have to for some reason convince him I'm an engineer and not a dancer in spite of my long legs? Yeah, I'll pass on that. In other situations I can thank them for the compliment and go somewhere else, but with a driver I'm stuck for quite a while. And sometimes I'm really not in the mood. I've complained before there really needs to be a "please don't hit on me" option, and STFU is a decent alternative.

throwaway666666 7y ago
Wow it must be so hard for you to have to deal with people talking with you and trying to get to know you better! These men attempting to talk to you are literally devils! Obviously there needs to be a law passed that if you're a man, you need written permission to be allowed to speak to a woman before you do so, otherwise you should be jailed.
dgzl 7y ago
> and it's this delicate social situation that requires more mental effort to negotiate than I want to give it I understand what you're saying, and I recognize the blessing/curse that comes with attracting people. However, as I've become an adult with a career and have left essentially all my friends behind, I've realized that making new friends is incredibly difficult. Even worse is trying to find dating partners. Lately I've been resorting to just talking to strangers and seeing if I can start a conversation. Not to excuse the behavior of your drivers, but you should understand that men are having a difficult time with approaching women these days. We feel really inadequate and sort of aimless. The dating world is seriously dangerous right now and to be honest, there isn't a lot of guidance from women. I've experienced a range of rejections and the least painful are always honest and upfront. Maybe you could try that?
- abyssin 7y ago
  I don't think anyone should accept that someone who's paid to provide a service is entitled to expect their client to be available for dating.
  - dijit 7y ago
    I think a bigger statement here is that nobody is _entitled_ to anything. We have an informal agreement that you shouldn't hit on service workers because essentially they can't escape the situation gracefully, but that agreement is not bilateral because as a customer you generally do have the freedom to be up front or let it pass. Obviously there are shades of grey to everything, and by no means am I excusing all behaviour, but the power dynamic is in favour of the client not the worker, and if you're respectful of the individual then I don't see why it should be stigmatic to approach someone. For context I've had waitresses give me their number, and that was just nice, no expectation that I have to reply and no repercussions if I didn't (as-in, they didn't have a means to berate me for not replying). But, yeah, shades of grey.
    - JimboOmega 7y ago
      In the context of a lyft/uber it's a bit different; it would not only be socially awkward but also usually make me late (and possibly even dangerous) to stop the ride halfway through and exit. It's not the case (thankfully) that I've felt my safety is in danger in these situations... it's just annoying.
    - scarface74 7y ago
      Even though I was a professional software engineer at the time, I was also a part time fitness instructor for over a decade. I even taught at women’s only gyms. I was really careful about not approaching anyone in my class - for the most part, women do not want to be approached at the gym - especially a women’s only gym, they go there specifically not to be bothered. On a slightly tangential note women only gyms are the only place where some observant Muslim women could work out in comfortable clothing.
  - 7y ago

throwaway666666 7y ago

Wow it must be so hard for you to have to deal with people talking with you and trying to get to know you better! These men attempting to talk to you are literally devils! Obviously there needs to be a law passed that if you're a man, you need written permission to be allowed to speak to a woman before you do so, otherwise you should be jailed.

dgzl 7y ago

> and it's this delicate social situation that requires more mental effort to negotiate than I want to give it I understand what you're saying, and I recognize the blessing/curse that comes with attracting people. However, as I've become an adult with a career and have left essentially all my friends behind, I've realized that making new friends is incredibly difficult. Even worse is trying to find dating partners. Lately I've been resorting to just talking to strangers and seeing if I can start a conversation. Not to excuse the behavior of your drivers, but you should understand that men are having a difficult time with approaching women these days. We feel really inadequate and sort of aimless. The dating world is seriously dangerous right now and to be honest, there isn't a lot of guidance from women. I've experienced a range of rejections and the least painful are always honest and upfront. Maybe you could try that?

abyssin 7y ago
I don't think anyone should accept that someone who's paid to provide a service is entitled to expect their client to be available for dating.
- dijit 7y ago
  I think a bigger statement here is that nobody is _entitled_ to anything. We have an informal agreement that you shouldn't hit on service workers because essentially they can't escape the situation gracefully, but that agreement is not bilateral because as a customer you generally do have the freedom to be up front or let it pass. Obviously there are shades of grey to everything, and by no means am I excusing all behaviour, but the power dynamic is in favour of the client not the worker, and if you're respectful of the individual then I don't see why it should be stigmatic to approach someone. For context I've had waitresses give me their number, and that was just nice, no expectation that I have to reply and no repercussions if I didn't (as-in, they didn't have a means to berate me for not replying). But, yeah, shades of grey.
  - JimboOmega 7y ago
    In the context of a lyft/uber it's a bit different; it would not only be socially awkward but also usually make me late (and possibly even dangerous) to stop the ride halfway through and exit. It's not the case (thankfully) that I've felt my safety is in danger in these situations... it's just annoying.
  - scarface74 7y ago
    Even though I was a professional software engineer at the time, I was also a part time fitness instructor for over a decade. I even taught at women’s only gyms. I was really careful about not approaching anyone in my class - for the most part, women do not want to be approached at the gym - especially a women’s only gym, they go there specifically not to be bothered. On a slightly tangential note women only gyms are the only place where some observant Muslim women could work out in comfortable clothing.
- 7y ago