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You, too, can strike up a conversation with a total stranger at a bus station and it doesn't have to feel weird. It is, however, likely to be short because peop
by blfr 7y ago
You, too, can strike up a conversation with a total stranger at a bus station and it doesn't have to feel weird. It is, however, likely to be short because people are so unused to it in the atomized west that, if you don't carry the whole conversation, they simply won't know what to say.
- beat 7y agoLast night, I said something to my spouse about a conversation I had with a "single serving friend", and she didn't know what I was talking about. I said it was a Fight Club reference, then went farther and explained that I had a five minute conversation with a complete stranger (just walking down the street together), and I had to explain this idea to her, because she's an introvert and would never, ever engage in a conversation with a stranger.
- aspenmayer 7y agoHow do you come to meet someone who seemingly doesn't have any way of meeting or interacting with others they aren't already acquainted with? How do you come to marry someone before you have this conversation to discover their lived experience of social interactions is so radically different to your own? No judgment, just a strange backstory that seems to raise more questions than it answers.
- beat 7y agoMy spouse meets people entirely through her existing social networks - me, her existing friends, her dance community, and work. She doesn't just strike up conversations with complete strangers, it makes her very uncomfortable. Whereas I'm an extrovert and happily start or engage in conversations with strangers all the time. She and I met back in the day through her boyfriend at the time (interestingly, we're still friends - he lives in town and we see him regularly). And she met him through her college roommate, freshman year.
- hi5eyes 7y agoits definitely fucking weird to randomly strike up a convo with a random at a bus station, fuck are you on?
- filoleg 7y agoAt a bus stop, yeah, it is kinda strange, cause people are usually there because they have to be, not because they want to. At a hackerspace, at a bar, at a book club, music concert, etc. it isn’t weird all. Some of the best friends I’ve made over the past couple of years (and i mean real friends, the ones you hang out with multiple times a week, go on trips, etc), it almost always was through some kind of spontaneous contact. I guess it depends on where you live. I’ve found (anecdotal evidence incoming) that it is much easier to do so in big cities with a lot of people that are not car-centric.
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]
- basementcat 7y agoRandom convos at bus stations are the best convos. Especially if the bus is late and the wifi/cellular service is lousy.
- 100100010001 7y agoBetter than deep conversations with friends whom you care about?
- Profan 7y agoWhy not both? It's not an either/or necessarily (your friends are probably not there right that moment).
- grawprog 7y agoI don't know, i've probably had more random conversations with strangers either on busses or waiting at bus stops than anywhere else. Especially when the bus is exceedingly late or there's something out of the ordinary happening. People that normally totally ignore eachother will suddenly start talking like they've known eachother for years. There's also been a couple people i've met transit I end up talking to a lot. There's one person, we don't know eachother's names but we know most of the details of eachother's lives.
- chc 7y agoYour second sentence seems to contradict the "it doesn't have to feel weird" part of the first.
- SiVal 7y agoIn much of "flyover country", Americans routinely greet, chat with, and interact with strangers in public. Ironically, it's one of the American traits often criticized by Europeans. "How rude, how intrusive, to invade my private bubble." But then, the UK has a similar phenomenon, with sophisticated Londoners making the same complaints about England's own flyover country, "the North" [1] [1]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4
- blfr 7y agoYes, it's a big city behaviour more than first world behaviour.
- quickthrower2 7y agoIt the UK it's a north / south divide, nothing to do with urban vs. rural. Disclaimer: Unfriendly southerner here. Also no idea if this is still true in 2019.
- jinglebells 7y agoAlso East/West. Seems to be worse the closer you get to London.
- parenthesis 7y agohttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_Nice_Up_North https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_Nice_Up_North
- refurb 7y agoMy mom lives in a small town in Canada. When she visits the Bay area and we go for walks, she always says "hi" to the people we pass. It usually makes people do a double take. But it was the same when I lived in a mid-sized town in the mid-west US. People were much more friendly and inviting. Randomly striking up a conversation (small talk) was usually quite well received.
- 7y ago
- new4thaccount 7y agoThe South is pretty friendly and outgoing in many places. I strike up conversations almost everywhere and most people are ok with it. Of course there are some people that hate small talk and I try to respect that.