This is far too reductionist. Of course there is a middle ground, from open work spaces that emphasize quiet (library style), to small "pods" that hold 6-10 peo

This is far too reductionist. Of course there is a middle ground, from open work spaces that emphasize quiet (library style), to small "pods" that hold 6-10 people in a team, there are a lot of options that companies provide. You also do not have to "destroy your hearing with loud music" to avoid coworkers conversations. Earplugs are cheap and available, and industrial grade noise protection (25db+) is available for <50 bucks. Unless you're opposed to wearing any sort of headphone/earplug at all, then you have to heavily screen your potential employers to get the environment you want.