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I am a living, breathing, oxymoron. I have no problem in social situations once I am in them but I have tremendous problems getting into them. Then, once I am i

I am a living, breathing, oxymoron. I have no problem in social situations once I am in them but I have tremendous problems getting into them. Then, once I am in them, I enjoy it for about an hour or two before I am screaming in my own head: "GET ME THE #$@# OUT OF HERE!!!" then once I get out I am good for a few days before I think to myself: "My life sucks I wish I wasn't such a loner" and since I have trouble getting into social situations I can be stuck on the "My life sucks..." stuff for months, sometimes years. I would love to get another girlfriend... its been about 6 years now. Worst thing is the women I am interested in are even more shy than myself and I live in a part of the country where apparently woman are much more shy on average. WHY IS THIS SO HARD?

loblollyboy 7y ago
Youre probably a dork. Source: i am a dork
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0x0hacksec 7y ago
which country? just get a programmer girlfriend EZ
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challenger22 7y ago
pull yerself together, man! :)
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mindv0rtex 7y ago
Oh man, does this sound familiar... I think my potential barrier for engaging in a social encounter is lower than yours, but the general pattern is the same. I hate being around people for too long but then I crave their company.
- Circuits 7y ago
  The worst part is.. I feel like I have something to offer. I have a sense of humor, a steady job, I am an artist, a musician, a poet, I am respectful and supportive, passionate and a hopeless romantic... but no one will ever know because apparently I am also a huge #$@% XD
staplers 7y ago
When I was single, once I realized breaking the ice was 80% of the battle, my world opened up. People already have a good idea if they like you or not within 10 seconds. If their cues aren't that of someone trying to exit a conversation then you have the green light.
edoo 7y ago
I was a very shy child due to severe emotional abuse. I assumed everyone was going to demand the same interactions and therefore avoided interactions. Helping me see it was basically the same as overcoming it. If you are shy with girls there is a good chance there is something in your past with a prominent female figure, likely a mother figure.
piazz 7y ago
Are you me? Maybe this is an ambivert + social anxiety thing? It is so odd. I like to be alone, but I like to know that I have a social interaction planned for later in the day, etc, so that I’m not guaranteed to be alone for the WHOLE day. And then once I’m there, I’m eager to get back to being by myself.
- Circuits 7y ago
  Yes but now that you know I have to kill me... us.
omarchowdhury 7y ago
Is it possible you aren't initiating or entering (getting into) social situations because of the fear of rejection or the fear of an awkward situation?
xsmasher 7y ago
> I enjoy it for about an hour or two before I am screaming in my own head: "GET ME THE #$@# OUT OF HERE!!!" You don't need to beat yourself up about this - if you have a low social drive and are satisfied after an hour or two, feel free to leave. Don't tough it out because you say that society says that you should be having fun.

loblollyboy 7y ago

Youre probably a dork. Source: i am a dork

deleted 7y ago
[deleted]

0x0hacksec 7y ago

which country? just get a programmer girlfriend EZ

deleted 7y ago
[deleted]

challenger22 7y ago

pull yerself together, man! :)

deleted 7y ago
[deleted]

mindv0rtex 7y ago

Oh man, does this sound familiar... I think my potential barrier for engaging in a social encounter is lower than yours, but the general pattern is the same. I hate being around people for too long but then I crave their company.

Circuits 7y ago
The worst part is.. I feel like I have something to offer. I have a sense of humor, a steady job, I am an artist, a musician, a poet, I am respectful and supportive, passionate and a hopeless romantic... but no one will ever know because apparently I am also a huge #$@% XD

staplers 7y ago

When I was single, once I realized breaking the ice was 80% of the battle, my world opened up. People already have a good idea if they like you or not within 10 seconds. If their cues aren't that of someone trying to exit a conversation then you have the green light.

edoo 7y ago

I was a very shy child due to severe emotional abuse. I assumed everyone was going to demand the same interactions and therefore avoided interactions. Helping me see it was basically the same as overcoming it. If you are shy with girls there is a good chance there is something in your past with a prominent female figure, likely a mother figure.

piazz 7y ago

Are you me? Maybe this is an ambivert + social anxiety thing? It is so odd. I like to be alone, but I like to know that I have a social interaction planned for later in the day, etc, so that I’m not guaranteed to be alone for the WHOLE day. And then once I’m there, I’m eager to get back to being by myself.

Circuits 7y ago
Yes but now that you know I have to kill me... us.

omarchowdhury 7y ago

Is it possible you aren't initiating or entering (getting into) social situations because of the fear of rejection or the fear of an awkward situation?

xsmasher 7y ago

> I enjoy it for about an hour or two before I am screaming in my own head: "GET ME THE #$@# OUT OF HERE!!!" You don't need to beat yourself up about this - if you have a low social drive and are satisfied after an hour or two, feel free to leave. Don't tough it out because you say that society says that you should be having fun.