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I'm shy because I'm afraid of people thinking badly of me. But I like people.

maxxxxx 7y ago
Don’t you sometimes get angry at people because they cause you so much stress? Although that stress is self inflicted. I do.
- loblollyboy 7y ago
  I dont get close enough to people for that - or vis versa. All my friends (or at least friendships) are low maintenance
frenchy 7y ago
I used to be like that too. For what it's worth, people probably think a lot better of you than you think they do.
omarchowdhury 7y ago
You aren't telepathic. You don't know what people think. Only what they say and do. So why worry about what they think?
- maxxxxx 7y ago
  Rationally this is correct. But when you talk to people and all inner alarm bells go off it's really hard to stay relaxed. That's how it is for me. I know pretty well that people mostly don't think badly of me but the thought is still there.
  - filoleg 7y ago
    This hits home. I totally agree with you, as I have noticed that it is much easier to give a rational and imo good advice to other people in this kind of situations than to actually give a similar kind of advice to yourself (and follow through on it) when you are facing it.
593throwaway 7y ago
I was like that. And then I fell in love, at which point I stopped caring about what other people thought of me... I only cared about what the target of my affection thought. Which was terrible for that relationship because I was extremely shy around her, but it somewhat cured my shyness around other people when I wasn't with her. Which resulted in a positive feedback loop, wherein my shyness slowly disappeared entirely. I'm still an introvert, and lack experience in certain social situations which I always avoided when younger, but I don't consider myself shy anymore. Not something easily emulated, but I thought I'd share my perspective anyway.
- loblollyboy 7y ago
  That's pretty interesting, but how were you in a relationship with someone and still shy around them?

Don’t you sometimes get angry at people because they cause you so much stress? Although that stress is self inflicted. I do.

loblollyboy 7y ago
I dont get close enough to people for that - or vis versa. All my friends (or at least friendships) are low maintenance

frenchy 7y ago

I used to be like that too. For what it's worth, people probably think a lot better of you than you think they do.

omarchowdhury 7y ago

You aren't telepathic. You don't know what people think. Only what they say and do. So why worry about what they think?

maxxxxx 7y ago
Rationally this is correct. But when you talk to people and all inner alarm bells go off it's really hard to stay relaxed. That's how it is for me. I know pretty well that people mostly don't think badly of me but the thought is still there.
- filoleg 7y ago
  This hits home. I totally agree with you, as I have noticed that it is much easier to give a rational and imo good advice to other people in this kind of situations than to actually give a similar kind of advice to yourself (and follow through on it) when you are facing it.

593throwaway 7y ago

I was like that. And then I fell in love, at which point I stopped caring about what other people thought of me... I only cared about what the target of my affection thought. Which was terrible for that relationship because I was extremely shy around her, but it somewhat cured my shyness around other people when I wasn't with her. Which resulted in a positive feedback loop, wherein my shyness slowly disappeared entirely. I'm still an introvert, and lack experience in certain social situations which I always avoided when younger, but I don't consider myself shy anymore. Not something easily emulated, but I thought I'd share my perspective anyway.

loblollyboy 7y ago
That's pretty interesting, but how were you in a relationship with someone and still shy around them?