> They would be returned to their legal guardian, foster parent or otherwise. How does this not apply to any child? The point is who they get returned to, of c

> They would be returned to their legal guardian, foster parent or otherwise. How does this not apply to any child? The point is who they get returned to, of course, and how they see those people. Children outside of foster care get returned to the situation they know. Inside youth services or foster care, not so much. Also you and I both know that if they run away re-placement into an institution will not be far behind. So even though you say it's the same, it's not. It's just not. And yeah I get that part of the reason is that a child that runs away from their biological parents simply doesn't realize institutions exist. They actually believe the lies, that the police will fix things. > Again, you're talking to an actual foster parent. Our children have a healthy relationship with their case managers, GALs, therapists, teachers, etc. Yes, and if you were ever a foster kid you would know that you have to make DAMN sure they believe so. And that it's never actually the case. As a kid in youth services you have 2 choices, you will eventually realize. All these people MUST think you're just about fine (but that they're still able to "help"), or they must be scared of you. Anything else leads to "help", which is a disaster, or to "treatment", catastrophe. Yes this sentence contains a hint as to why I might have negative feelings about these people. Sorry to pop your bubble, but these kids are lying, scheming, faking and cheating you. And neither you or I will blame them for that (you are going to get mad when you realize though. It'll pass, but the damage will be done). Though kids in youth services in my experience have a bit of a "brutal honesty habit", so maybe you should ask. But be careful: like safety can't be restored, you also cannot "unhear" the sentence "I'm doing this to prevent worse", and you may realize that the clock is ticking, that they have taught themselves not to care about you and lie about it, that they have gotten plenty of practice at this and are far better at it than you are at identifying it and that thought, too, cannot be "unthought of". Do you realize the violence your will kids face if you or their therapist or their teacher were to even just doubt that they're fine ? Do you think someone can develop normally knowing this ? Don't you think that, perhaps, there's something you're missing ? That this absurd situation you think you see in your kids is perhaps simply not real ? They are faking it and in reality their "safe" environment is causing extreme stress because they cannot ever let their guard down. The only minimal remainder of control they have is utterly and critically dependent on everyone believing everything is fine. They cannot ever be honest to almost anyone. I mean I hope it's not like this in your case of course, but ... > This is a movie. It is "based on" a real story, but look up what "based on" really means. Not much. Yes, the psychological reactions of these kids have been pared down to a completely unrealistically peaceful level. Nobody in such a situation reacts as controlled as the kids in this movie do. Also they have systematically avoided showing the even worse sides of youth services, such as the initial taking away of the kids, the institutions, the complete and total idiots that are the employees, supervisors and therapists, the ruins with barbed wire they house the kids in, the fact that your "hyperkinetism" treatment is never going to fix your teacher (meaning the problem youth care solves is NEVER the kid, but ALWAYS the kid is the one punished/treated/locked up/... It never works because you cannot fix a leaky car tire no matter what you do with the bike in the trunk), the constant replacement/changes (you NEVER have the same consultant twice. Just doesn't happen. They quit before they'd see you twice), the "time out" prisons, they show the many court cases only by showing a bag of bears instead of the constant crying and the beatings and fights by the police officers in the waiting rooms, the group of terrified children collapsing quietly in their chairs or looking for a fight, the moment a child realizes that the therapists outright only care about you while they're being paid for it, or the ones where it's not even for their pay but who do it to psychologically insulate themselves ... Reality is far worse on all fronts. Have you ever seen a 5 year old in an institution in this situation: it's one of their first days, they've just calmed down a bit. They actually connect to one of those group supervisors. And they do what kids do, in such a difficult situation: they start following them around. The kid thinks this supervisor cares. Now you're about to say: she does. SHE probably thinks she does (like you do). But she doesn't: that's not allowed. So at 6pm, at the door to the group, this 5 year old learns: the supervisor doesn't care. She (it's usually a she) is not allowed to care. The kid is violently torn away from this supervisor it was trying to attach itself to, and the child realizes how it's going to be from now on: EVERYBODY rejects you. Whether they want to or not. It's just a matter of time. The realization dawns. It becomes very suddenly very clear why every kid is just lying around in the sofa, avoiding every contact they can avoid, avoiding to be confronted AGAIN with the forced or real rejections. Then they're in their room for days, crying. They stop eating for a day or two. They realize what a horrific mistake they've made by not preventing themselves from ending up here, that it's never going end, ever. That the other kids were telling the truth and not at all trying to be mean. None of the adults understand. Well that's not true, they do. But their job depends on them not understanding: either they refuse to understand that this is what happens to all the kids, or they're not there anymore tomorrow (it's sometimes about the money if they're freelancers, but more often it's just a filter). You don't realize that for your kids you're like this supervisor, at 16h, before they go home at 18h. You are going to reject your kids. That's a certainty. The kids realize this, but know that pointing this out to you will lead to disaster, a further bout of sudden violence against them, completely uncertainty about what comes next. What's next in that case could literally be a jail cell. And to youth services you're nothing but a bed: one more kid they can "save". Disgusting assholes.