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I mostly agree except that around very close friends you should not be spending energy and instead recharging. For years I mistook my lack of « physical » energ

I mostly agree except that around very close friends you should not be spending energy and instead recharging. For years I mistook my lack of « physical » energy to go out instead of staying cozy at home for introversion, but that’s not the same thing. If you have balance in your life good but be careful of loneliness, we are social beings, even introverts.

dan00 7y ago
> I mostly agree except that around very close friends you should not be spending energy and instead recharging. That’s certainly not the case for myself. If I’m exhausted I need to be completely alone to recharge. Yes, being with close friends is a lot less taxing, but it still is not the same as recharging,
vidarh 7y ago
I never recharge around people, other than perhaps a romantic partner and even then only when she respects my need for quiet time and solitude on a regular basis. E.g. I can be ok if people are physically present around me, but I need quiet and not having to interact at times. Some people can do that, many people just can't. People talk, and usually require attention even when they don't explicitly verbalize it. I can be happy to be silent for hours on end, which tends to drive people crazy and think I'm upset or angry when I'm just enjoying the quiet. I think you're making assumptions based on yourself and extrapolating. I don't really spend time around "very close friends". My closest friends are people I haven't seen for years, and I'm fine with that. It's not that I wouldn't enjoy spending time with them, because I do, and there are people I spend time thinking about regularly, but I just don't feel a need to go out of my way to see them - when it happens, it happens. And I'll need time to recharge afterwards, but that's ok. > If you have balance in your life good but be careful of loneliness, we are social beings, even introverts. While this is pretty much a truism, I think it exaggerates through omission. Yes, we should be wary of being lonely, and yes, we're all social beings, but that does not mean we have need for the same volume of social contact. I haven't felt lonely for decades, even when alone for extended periods of time. I don't see why I would - I don't know what it is like for someone to feel that kind of need for social contact. Again, it doesn't mean I don't like social contact now and again, but it takes very little of it to keep me happy and content.

dan00 7y ago

> I mostly agree except that around very close friends you should not be spending energy and instead recharging. That’s certainly not the case for myself. If I’m exhausted I need to be completely alone to recharge. Yes, being with close friends is a lot less taxing, but it still is not the same as recharging,

vidarh 7y ago

I never recharge around people, other than perhaps a romantic partner and even then only when she respects my need for quiet time and solitude on a regular basis. E.g. I can be ok if people are physically present around me, but I need quiet and not having to interact at times. Some people can do that, many people just can't. People talk, and usually require attention even when they don't explicitly verbalize it. I can be happy to be silent for hours on end, which tends to drive people crazy and think I'm upset or angry when I'm just enjoying the quiet. I think you're making assumptions based on yourself and extrapolating. I don't really spend time around "very close friends". My closest friends are people I haven't seen for years, and I'm fine with that. It's not that I wouldn't enjoy spending time with them, because I do, and there are people I spend time thinking about regularly, but I just don't feel a need to go out of my way to see them - when it happens, it happens. And I'll need time to recharge afterwards, but that's ok. > If you have balance in your life good but be careful of loneliness, we are social beings, even introverts. While this is pretty much a truism, I think it exaggerates through omission. Yes, we should be wary of being lonely, and yes, we're all social beings, but that does not mean we have need for the same volume of social contact. I haven't felt lonely for decades, even when alone for extended periods of time. I don't see why I would - I don't know what it is like for someone to feel that kind of need for social contact. Again, it doesn't mean I don't like social contact now and again, but it takes very little of it to keep me happy and content.