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I gave you an updoot because I am exactly like you. We, are introverts. Introverts can function in the real world, but only for short bursts at a time. We can

I gave you an updoot because I am exactly like you. We, are introverts. Introverts can function in the real world, but only for short bursts at a time. We can make friends, go to parties, even be the life and soul of a party - but only for short bursts at a time, then you'll usually find us chilling out somewhere quiet, recharging our metaphorical batteries. A lot of people confuse introversy with being shy or timid or other negative connotations, and they'd be incorrect. There are many good articles on what being an introvert is and means. For example https://introvertspring.com/what-is-an-introvert/ https://introvertspring.com/what-is-an-introvert/

astrobe_ 7y ago
That may be more than just being an introvert, though. "Introverts" should take a look at the Attachment theory [1] for maybe, a bigger picture. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults
- dan00 7y ago
  Please just no, don’t put that kind of psychological illness label on introvert people. People are quite able to differentiate if they’re fearful if they’re under people or just exhausted.
  - astrobe_ 7y ago
    Is "introvert" a protected status, a badge of honor? Besides, the article doesn't describe any particular "illness".
    - dan00 7y ago
      > Is "introvert" a protected status, a badge of honor? I’ve no clue what you’re talking. > Besides, the article doesn't describe any particular "illness". Calling it illness might not have been the right term, but at least it’s some kind of personal development which has gone a bit into the wrong direction. And if that’s the reason why an introvert person isn’t going more out, isn’t going to meet more people, then there’s something wrong with the introvert person and perhaps this should then be changed with additional personal development, perhaps some kind of therapy. If that’s not what you meant, then fine, otherwise that’s the reason why I’m a bit upset, because it puts introvert people into a light of wrongness, that something has to be changed in them.
- vidarh 7y ago
  Nothing at all in the comment you replied to seems to imply not feeling perfectly happy and secure with people, so I'm unsure why you think that is relevant.
blattimwind 7y ago
> We, are introverts. You might be, but that's not the reason why real relationships "drain [you] of energy". > The relationships you don't consider real often makes me happier. They're as meaningful to me as face to face relationships, but a lot less exhausting. That's more than just being introverted.
- meva 7y ago
  What's with those general statements that don't bring any new information? I can't downvote you but if you have constructive feedback please provide it. Don't just write "no, you are wrong" or "there's more to it" statements without any explanation.
  - blattimwind 7y ago
    Many people say (even just in these comments) that they're introverted but real life relationships are very valuable to them. So either all those people are wrong about being introverts ("no true introvert"), or perhaps those people that are introverted and don't value real life relationships or even see them as a "cost center" are more than just introverted. That's not a value judgement, btw.
    - vidarh 7y ago
      Being introverted and "not valuing" real life relationships are orthogonal things. I can value some real life relationships, but for the most part it's not that I don't value them as much as that I don't value them more than "virtual" relationships for the most part, and they're less draining because it's easier to pace them and shut it out when it's too much.
tarsinge 7y ago
I mostly agree except that around very close friends you should not be spending energy and instead recharging. For years I mistook my lack of « physical » energy to go out instead of staying cozy at home for introversion, but that’s not the same thing. If you have balance in your life good but be careful of loneliness, we are social beings, even introverts.
- dan00 7y ago
  > I mostly agree except that around very close friends you should not be spending energy and instead recharging. That’s certainly not the case for myself. If I’m exhausted I need to be completely alone to recharge. Yes, being with close friends is a lot less taxing, but it still is not the same as recharging,
- vidarh 7y ago
  I never recharge around people, other than perhaps a romantic partner and even then only when she respects my need for quiet time and solitude on a regular basis. E.g. I can be ok if people are physically present around me, but I need quiet and not having to interact at times. Some people can do that, many people just can't. People talk, and usually require attention even when they don't explicitly verbalize it. I can be happy to be silent for hours on end, which tends to drive people crazy and think I'm upset or angry when I'm just enjoying the quiet. I think you're making assumptions based on yourself and extrapolating. I don't really spend time around "very close friends". My closest friends are people I haven't seen for years, and I'm fine with that. It's not that I wouldn't enjoy spending time with them, because I do, and there are people I spend time thinking about regularly, but I just don't feel a need to go out of my way to see them - when it happens, it happens. And I'll need time to recharge afterwards, but that's ok. > If you have balance in your life good but be careful of loneliness, we are social beings, even introverts. While this is pretty much a truism, I think it exaggerates through omission. Yes, we should be wary of being lonely, and yes, we're all social beings, but that does not mean we have need for the same volume of social contact. I haven't felt lonely for decades, even when alone for extended periods of time. I don't see why I would - I don't know what it is like for someone to feel that kind of need for social contact. Again, it doesn't mean I don't like social contact now and again, but it takes very little of it to keep me happy and content.

astrobe_ 7y ago

That may be more than just being an introvert, though. "Introverts" should take a look at the Attachment theory [1] for maybe, a bigger picture. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults

dan00 7y ago
Please just no, don’t put that kind of psychological illness label on introvert people. People are quite able to differentiate if they’re fearful if they’re under people or just exhausted.
- astrobe_ 7y ago
  Is "introvert" a protected status, a badge of honor? Besides, the article doesn't describe any particular "illness".
  - dan00 7y ago
    > Is "introvert" a protected status, a badge of honor? I’ve no clue what you’re talking. > Besides, the article doesn't describe any particular "illness". Calling it illness might not have been the right term, but at least it’s some kind of personal development which has gone a bit into the wrong direction. And if that’s the reason why an introvert person isn’t going more out, isn’t going to meet more people, then there’s something wrong with the introvert person and perhaps this should then be changed with additional personal development, perhaps some kind of therapy. If that’s not what you meant, then fine, otherwise that’s the reason why I’m a bit upset, because it puts introvert people into a light of wrongness, that something has to be changed in them.
vidarh 7y ago
Nothing at all in the comment you replied to seems to imply not feeling perfectly happy and secure with people, so I'm unsure why you think that is relevant.

blattimwind 7y ago

> We, are introverts. You might be, but that's not the reason why real relationships "drain [you] of energy". > The relationships you don't consider real often makes me happier. They're as meaningful to me as face to face relationships, but a lot less exhausting. That's more than just being introverted.

meva 7y ago
What's with those general statements that don't bring any new information? I can't downvote you but if you have constructive feedback please provide it. Don't just write "no, you are wrong" or "there's more to it" statements without any explanation.
- blattimwind 7y ago
  Many people say (even just in these comments) that they're introverted but real life relationships are very valuable to them. So either all those people are wrong about being introverts ("no true introvert"), or perhaps those people that are introverted and don't value real life relationships or even see them as a "cost center" are more than just introverted. That's not a value judgement, btw.
  - vidarh 7y ago
    Being introverted and "not valuing" real life relationships are orthogonal things. I can value some real life relationships, but for the most part it's not that I don't value them as much as that I don't value them more than "virtual" relationships for the most part, and they're less draining because it's easier to pace them and shut it out when it's too much.

tarsinge 7y ago

I mostly agree except that around very close friends you should not be spending energy and instead recharging. For years I mistook my lack of « physical » energy to go out instead of staying cozy at home for introversion, but that’s not the same thing. If you have balance in your life good but be careful of loneliness, we are social beings, even introverts.

dan00 7y ago
> I mostly agree except that around very close friends you should not be spending energy and instead recharging. That’s certainly not the case for myself. If I’m exhausted I need to be completely alone to recharge. Yes, being with close friends is a lot less taxing, but it still is not the same as recharging,
vidarh 7y ago
I never recharge around people, other than perhaps a romantic partner and even then only when she respects my need for quiet time and solitude on a regular basis. E.g. I can be ok if people are physically present around me, but I need quiet and not having to interact at times. Some people can do that, many people just can't. People talk, and usually require attention even when they don't explicitly verbalize it. I can be happy to be silent for hours on end, which tends to drive people crazy and think I'm upset or angry when I'm just enjoying the quiet. I think you're making assumptions based on yourself and extrapolating. I don't really spend time around "very close friends". My closest friends are people I haven't seen for years, and I'm fine with that. It's not that I wouldn't enjoy spending time with them, because I do, and there are people I spend time thinking about regularly, but I just don't feel a need to go out of my way to see them - when it happens, it happens. And I'll need time to recharge afterwards, but that's ok. > If you have balance in your life good but be careful of loneliness, we are social beings, even introverts. While this is pretty much a truism, I think it exaggerates through omission. Yes, we should be wary of being lonely, and yes, we're all social beings, but that does not mean we have need for the same volume of social contact. I haven't felt lonely for decades, even when alone for extended periods of time. I don't see why I would - I don't know what it is like for someone to feel that kind of need for social contact. Again, it doesn't mean I don't like social contact now and again, but it takes very little of it to keep me happy and content.