4 ms·

I really don't see how it's a personal attack.

• karvo 7y ago
  It's so goofy that people can use personal experience to illustrate a serious point without having holes poked in their experience.
• dang 7y ago
  When someone shares their personal story, they put themselves in a vulnerable position. If an internet commenter comes along and presumes to know better about that person's experience, psychologizing, giving condescending advice, and dismissing their understanding of their own life, that's presumptuous and invasive. Since it crosses a line into an intimate place disrespectfully, I call it crossing into personal attack unintentionally. I realize that people often think they're helping the other person this way—e.g. the tough-love approach. But comments on an internet forum lack the relational connection that's necessary for someone to receive help in this way. Instead, it just feels like being talked down to or scolded or worse. I replied that way to the GP comment because those elements were in there. Knowing better: "You may be creating a problem out of nothing." Condescending: "Growing up is not without problems". Condescending advice: "I encourage you to let this resentment go and move on with life". Psychologizing: "You try and find someone to blame and to find some exotic condition you can identify with". Dismissive: "What does validating emotions even mean". Even if the commenter is guessing perfectly and all those points are correct, this is not the way to communicate such information. Indeed, being correct would make it even more humiliating.
  • new2628 7y ago
    For the record, I agreed with your comment and your decision to detach the thread and regretted my hasty comment. Seeing my initial comment now dissected like that is somewhat humiliating as well. In any case, keep up the good work, and all the best.