5 ms·

I'll take a stab at this. First, a few assumptions: 1. You have no children 2. You are currently single 3. You are technically savvy 4. You are healthy, p

I'll take a stab at this. First, a few assumptions: 1. You have no children 2. You are currently single 3. You are technically savvy 4. You are healthy, probably relatively young (20's) and able to work. If those assumptions are all accurate, then I offer this: Hit the power button and reboot again. Marriage, as someone else said, can wait. Finances cause a lot of marital problems. This, of course, is optional. Get married if you want. But I think it would be better to do so with a clean slate. Your first years of marriage should be joyful and full of intimacy. It's hard to do so when you're financially strapped. It's just an extra source of stress you don't really need. Since you currently don't have other baggage (kids, wife, mortgage, presumably pets) -- how about another stab at doing a self-employment thing? Do some consulting work to get some cash flow and build work on a business you might enjoy. Once the wife and kids and house and dog and cat and picket fence come along, that's going to be a real bitch of a thing to do without significant cash reserves. I know, because I've got first hand experience and have limited myself and my options as a result of my choices. A lot of people fail at their first (and subsequent) business attempts. Surely you've read this all before. Wouldn't it suck to quit right before you got it right? But, forget all that crap! Right? I get it. You want a little stability. Good! But, will you be happy? Will your corporate job fulfill your passionate needs? Will that steady paycheck make you happy? Perhaps. If so, do it! How about getting that corporate job and seeing if you like it? Before marriage! Hey, if this person loves you, they'll wait. No rush my friend, right? Or am I wrong? If I'm wrong, then maybe you better think twice. Now, you got your corporate job, you aren't married, you have no kids or house or pets and picket fence --> you have options! Selfish options at that. Step out and get back to your thing. Oh hell, I probably said too much. Good luck and smart choices to you. And...my sympathies for the debt - but don't let it destroy your spirit. Life is a roller coaster - the nice upside will pay you visits in your future and you'll look back at this as a great education.

throwaway202 16y ago
A few reactions to this: - No kids, engaged, I have strong technical skills (10+ years of dev and ops experience, lots of IT project management experience), I'm healthy, in my 30s, and I am ready, willing and able to work. - Marriage rescheduling isn't on the table. The wedding was supposed to happen last year but got nixed because my business had just entered free-fall and I was a ball of stress. Now the situation is crappy, but well-defined, so I no longer panic about finances. She would wait again if I wanted, but that's not what I want, either. - I did quite a bit of consulting in the past year, as we were winding down the company. The positive side was that the pay was fairly good and it helped scrub a lot of debt (there was a point where I was down close to $200k.) The minus side was that I felt stressed by having what was more of a collection of part-time jobs than a business or a career. This downside is amplified by the fact that I stopped enjoying dev work, hate doing outside sales, and I legitimately miss having to go to an office each day. - Right now, a steady paycheck is exactly what I crave. I have a roadmap laid out that includes both a corporate and an entrepreneurial fork, but both start with me working in the PMO or IT PMO of a relatively large corporation for the next four years, then move to Singapore and attend INSEAD. - Thank you for your post. I'm extremely grateful for everyone who took the time out to offer their thoughts. - The debt really isn't that bad. I paid $100,000 for a transformative experience. If you gave me a time machine I'd do it again.
- nopassrecover 16y ago
  It's tough but if you made 100k consulting could you either a) do it again or b) tell (charge) others how to do it?
  - throwaway202 16y ago
    Here's how I did it, for free: I spent the first month putting together a 'web dev' resume. This took a month because most of my experience was non-public, involved large teams, and/or NDAd. As such, I supplemented my resume by writing a few applications that while not overly complex, were clear demonstrations that I can do more than a basic CRUD app. (After all, I've got more than a decade of dev experience, it'd be weird if I couldn't do that.) I further emphasized that competence by opening a github account, submitting a few minor patches to other projects, and open-sourcing one full application of my own. Once I finished that, I started scouring everything I could find for jobs and contracts where I might be a good fit, and I applied to approximately two per day. I started with a 'take anything, as long as it's short' approach, and got pickier over time about what I'd do, and the rates I wanted. After about two months, I wound up working with a client who was incredibly impressed with me, and wound up buying about 50% of my capacity for $100/hr on an ongoing basis. Most weeks I wound up working 20 hours for him, and the rest of my time was spent trying to land small-ish higher-pay contracts, or working on those higher pay contracts. Altogether, I grossed about $160,000 in a year with almost none of that coming in during the first two months. The vast majority of that cash was used to pay off corporate debt that was personally guaranteed. The only reason I don't want to repeat this is because while it would help clear the debt, it left me deeply unhappy. I don't enjoy coding anymore, and I don't enjoy working alone.
    - signal 16y ago
      That's a great story and a good strategy, which you pulled off admirably. Reading that, I don't think you should pull a 180 once you get to Philly. I hear what you're saying about your distaste for the 'lone wolf coder' role but you can use your skills and experience to hit the ground running instead of hunting for jobs until you catch one. The networking advice is all well and good but it doesn't pay the bills and it's not a quick fix. You network so that you can call on your contacts in times like this, starting now just delays the payoff and poisons your interactions with dread that you have to hit them up with your plea sooner or later - or worse, right off the bat. Networking is about building a rolodex, give and take, but mostly building relationships. If you need something right away it ruins the premise and people can smell it. My advice is this: Philly must have coworking space. That will solve your 3 problems. You can be with people. You can help them, and receive help. You can advise, consult, contribute. Make money, join the community and networking will be a part of your life. You can hunt for a job for a few hours a day, but help people and they will help you. You'll become a part of your new home, and your new life. You may even like coding again.

throwaway202 16y ago

A few reactions to this: - No kids, engaged, I have strong technical skills (10+ years of dev and ops experience, lots of IT project management experience), I'm healthy, in my 30s, and I am ready, willing and able to work. - Marriage rescheduling isn't on the table. The wedding was supposed to happen last year but got nixed because my business had just entered free-fall and I was a ball of stress. Now the situation is crappy, but well-defined, so I no longer panic about finances. She would wait again if I wanted, but that's not what I want, either. - I did quite a bit of consulting in the past year, as we were winding down the company. The positive side was that the pay was fairly good and it helped scrub a lot of debt (there was a point where I was down close to $200k.) The minus side was that I felt stressed by having what was more of a collection of part-time jobs than a business or a career. This downside is amplified by the fact that I stopped enjoying dev work, hate doing outside sales, and I legitimately miss having to go to an office each day. - Right now, a steady paycheck is exactly what I crave. I have a roadmap laid out that includes both a corporate and an entrepreneurial fork, but both start with me working in the PMO or IT PMO of a relatively large corporation for the next four years, then move to Singapore and attend INSEAD. - Thank you for your post. I'm extremely grateful for everyone who took the time out to offer their thoughts. - The debt really isn't that bad. I paid $100,000 for a transformative experience. If you gave me a time machine I'd do it again.

nopassrecover 16y ago
It's tough but if you made 100k consulting could you either a) do it again or b) tell (charge) others how to do it?
- throwaway202 16y ago
  Here's how I did it, for free: I spent the first month putting together a 'web dev' resume. This took a month because most of my experience was non-public, involved large teams, and/or NDAd. As such, I supplemented my resume by writing a few applications that while not overly complex, were clear demonstrations that I can do more than a basic CRUD app. (After all, I've got more than a decade of dev experience, it'd be weird if I couldn't do that.) I further emphasized that competence by opening a github account, submitting a few minor patches to other projects, and open-sourcing one full application of my own. Once I finished that, I started scouring everything I could find for jobs and contracts where I might be a good fit, and I applied to approximately two per day. I started with a 'take anything, as long as it's short' approach, and got pickier over time about what I'd do, and the rates I wanted. After about two months, I wound up working with a client who was incredibly impressed with me, and wound up buying about 50% of my capacity for $100/hr on an ongoing basis. Most weeks I wound up working 20 hours for him, and the rest of my time was spent trying to land small-ish higher-pay contracts, or working on those higher pay contracts. Altogether, I grossed about $160,000 in a year with almost none of that coming in during the first two months. The vast majority of that cash was used to pay off corporate debt that was personally guaranteed. The only reason I don't want to repeat this is because while it would help clear the debt, it left me deeply unhappy. I don't enjoy coding anymore, and I don't enjoy working alone.
  - signal 16y ago
    That's a great story and a good strategy, which you pulled off admirably. Reading that, I don't think you should pull a 180 once you get to Philly. I hear what you're saying about your distaste for the 'lone wolf coder' role but you can use your skills and experience to hit the ground running instead of hunting for jobs until you catch one. The networking advice is all well and good but it doesn't pay the bills and it's not a quick fix. You network so that you can call on your contacts in times like this, starting now just delays the payoff and poisons your interactions with dread that you have to hit them up with your plea sooner or later - or worse, right off the bat. Networking is about building a rolodex, give and take, but mostly building relationships. If you need something right away it ruins the premise and people can smell it. My advice is this: Philly must have coworking space. That will solve your 3 problems. You can be with people. You can help them, and receive help. You can advise, consult, contribute. Make money, join the community and networking will be a part of your life. You can hunt for a job for a few hours a day, but help people and they will help you. You'll become a part of your new home, and your new life. You may even like coding again.