Maybe another way to put it: #4 works as long as neither party is overly selfish. That doesn't mean that both will spend the same, though. Equality of expendi

Maybe another way to put it: #4 works as long as neither party is overly selfish. That doesn't mean that both will spend the same, though. Equality of expenditure isn't as important as equality of happiness/contentedness. Prizing the latter more than the former is the real goal, so really - however you get there? As long as it works for you and your family, go with it!