Because what do they all actually do? They spend a large portion of their time waiting around for numbers they add[0] to a spreadsheet and report those numbers

Because what do they all actually do? They spend a large portion of their time waiting around for numbers they add[0] to a spreadsheet and report those numbers to their manager. That's it. (Ok, once a year they do reviews.) [0] If they don't bug a dev to do it.