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There's literally a whole book by a Stanford biz school professor about this exact subject. One of my pet favorite tips: pretend you're a research psychologist

There's literally a whole book by a Stanford biz school professor about this exact subject. One of my pet favorite tips: pretend you're a research psychologist observing a patient with a rare mental disorder (doesn't solve all of the problems, but at least helps to cope). https://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Survival-Guide-People-Treat/dp/1328695913 https://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Survival-Guide-People-Treat/d...

gbersac 7y ago
direct to my to-read list. Thanks!
gexla 7y ago
> pretend you're a research psychologist observing a patient with a rare mental disorder Maybe more often truth than fiction. The mental disorders aren't so rare. Today there is a thread on "burnout" being a "mental diagnosis." I suppose that covers many of us. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20026378 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20026378
Blaiz0r 7y ago
Observe don't absorb.
- msbot 7y ago
  I love this. I will be using this from now on.
dt_rsp 7y ago
Timely. From today: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/life-tip http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/life-tip
omginternets 7y ago
>One of my pet favorite tips: pretend you're a research psychologist observing a patient with a rare mental disorder I do this a lot, and can vouch for the general approach. A tip from the trenches. When faced with bizarre and disturbing behavior, clinical psychologists will often verbalize the behavior they're currently witnessing. It's a way of helping the patient realize that their behavior is abnormal without moralizing or recoiling in horror. Hence the pro-tip. Instead of getting indignant, just say something like "You're suggesting I actively undermined the project" or "you're smearing your own excrement on the wall".
noir_lord 7y ago
My partner works in a total cluster fuck of an office with some horrible people (she won't quit without another job even though I offered to cover her while she finds work) so I told her to treat her office like she was David Attenborough narrating a documentary. "And here we find the Donna in its natural habitat, scientists where surprised to discover the Donna can eat its own weight in fried chicken every week" that kind of thing. If she's have a bad week I send her narration to make her laugh. It sucks watching someone you care about get ground down though.
- toomuchtodo 7y ago
  Consider helping accelerate your partner’s job search. No one deserves a toxic job.
aitchnyu 7y ago
Philosphers from Socrates to the Stoics have a variant of "forgive them Father, for they don't know what they are they are doing". A person who values wrong things is bound to act bad. And its a handicap worse than blindness or lameness and therefore deserve compassion.

gbersac 7y ago

direct to my to-read list. Thanks!

gexla 7y ago

> pretend you're a research psychologist observing a patient with a rare mental disorder Maybe more often truth than fiction. The mental disorders aren't so rare. Today there is a thread on "burnout" being a "mental diagnosis." I suppose that covers many of us. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20026378 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20026378

Blaiz0r 7y ago

Observe don't absorb.

msbot 7y ago
I love this. I will be using this from now on.

dt_rsp 7y ago

Timely. From today: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/life-tip http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/life-tip

omginternets 7y ago

>One of my pet favorite tips: pretend you're a research psychologist observing a patient with a rare mental disorder I do this a lot, and can vouch for the general approach. A tip from the trenches. When faced with bizarre and disturbing behavior, clinical psychologists will often verbalize the behavior they're currently witnessing. It's a way of helping the patient realize that their behavior is abnormal without moralizing or recoiling in horror. Hence the pro-tip. Instead of getting indignant, just say something like "You're suggesting I actively undermined the project" or "you're smearing your own excrement on the wall".

noir_lord 7y ago

My partner works in a total cluster fuck of an office with some horrible people (she won't quit without another job even though I offered to cover her while she finds work) so I told her to treat her office like she was David Attenborough narrating a documentary. "And here we find the Donna in its natural habitat, scientists where surprised to discover the Donna can eat its own weight in fried chicken every week" that kind of thing. If she's have a bad week I send her narration to make her laugh. It sucks watching someone you care about get ground down though.

toomuchtodo 7y ago
Consider helping accelerate your partner’s job search. No one deserves a toxic job.

aitchnyu 7y ago

Philosphers from Socrates to the Stoics have a variant of "forgive them Father, for they don't know what they are they are doing". A person who values wrong things is bound to act bad. And its a handicap worse than blindness or lameness and therefore deserve compassion.