I have read the other comments which are interesting and useful in their own ways. Having said that: The question I have is why should we feel so compelled to

I have read the other comments which are interesting and useful in their own ways. Having said that: The question I have is why should we feel so compelled to taaaawk? I am assuming small talk is a prelude to talking, which it is in most cases, unless it is a greeting. If a greeting, initiating ST is easy: look for clues into the other person. Whatever they are doing, you can ask the obvious indirect question: oh, you are watering plants. Or, walking your pets? AFAIK, weather is too cliche and may appear boring or fake. Unless the weather has done sth it does not usually do, like pear-sized hailstones. If someone initiates a greeting ST, you just go with the flow and say whatever you want. This one depends on what the initiator said. In general, you can just be yourself and speak honestly. Your metaframe should be: "this is who I am, therefore this is what I say", rather than "I am gonna respond to your initiated ST because you initiated it and I must respond". If ST is not initiated aa a greeting, whether you want to respond to it so it becomes a real talk depends on who the initiator is. If it is a wise person with tons of knowledge, some of which is shared by you, you will have no trouble talking because topics reveal themselves. But if it is an imbecile with zero real erudition, what is the need to talk to such a person? Also, talking is overrated. I talk because I want to, not because I am supposed to. If I don't want to, then I don't. In that case, I read HN or write a comment to interesting questions like yours.