There is a simple approach that I find universally effective. First off, you need a goal. Aimless smalltalk is unlikely to be satisfying. Your objective shou

There is a simple approach that I find universally effective. First off, you need a goal. Aimless smalltalk is unlikely to be satisfying. Your objective should be to go beyond smalltalk and have a stimulating conversation. Stimulating conversations usually involve a topic that is important to both parties, but which the parties rarely get to talk about. Your primary goal should be to find such a topic. If you find it, you will have a rewarding conversation that flows easliy. If you don't find it, the process of searching can still generate good conversation that transcends typical smalltalk. At all times, make it clear to the other person that you are interested in them, their wellbeing, and what they have to say, by looking at them when they talk, smiling often, being animated, nodding your head in agreement, etc. This puts people at ease and makes them more eager to engage. Here are the steps: 1) Consider what you know, or can observe, about the other person, which might yield clues about what is important to them. 2) Choose the topic with greatest probability of being important to both of you, but unimportant to most other people. Example: "When I drove by your house the other day, I noticed you had numerous garden gnomes. I love garden gnomes and everyone seems to think I am crazy!" Another example: "Is it my imagination or do you have a Nova Scotian accent? You're a long way from home! I spent my summers in Nova Scotia as a child and had a blast!" 3) If you don't see a good candidate topic, ask probing questions to discover one. At the very least, you can focus your questions on things important to you in an effort to find common ground, Example: "Do you have any kids? How old are they? I also have a 3-year-old and finding good daycare in the city seems impossible! Do you have a solution?" 4) If the conversation is in danger of lagging, go back to Step 1.